trying to find therapy in writing because human therapy is expensive

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  • zainabnajmi 39w

    I love being alone. I'm alone, not lonely. So, just leave me alone!

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    away from the nagging and bragging of the world;
    away from the noise that disrupts the continuous stir;
    i prefer to take the road not taken
    as i enjoy the walk into the abyss where solitude is truly bliss.

    to me, the world begins and ends at 'me and i' alone;
    leave me locked inside a cave with my thoughts,
    and I'll come out stronger than all the worldly possessions you've ever owned.

    to me, it does not matter
    if you offer me a diamond or a pearl
    because solitude is the only truly blissful thing in my empty universe.


  • zainabnajmi 49w


    centuries apart,
    it occurs to us in hindsight,
    as time & space refuse to co-exist amidst this revolution,
    that the conjunction of despair and planets
    is an indicator of a universe beyond our imagination
    and pain beyond our limits of endurance.


  • zainabnajmi 54w

    The Song Of The Flower

    There's a flower in my yard
    she doesn't ask for much
    i see her stand and wave
    she's got a remarkable grace,
    but does she know?
    she stands alone.

    There's a bee in my yard
    he always asks for a lot
    he never stands or waves
    he's got an enchanting gaze,
    but does he know?
    he needs a home.

    i see the bee lurk around
    he's got his gaze, so profound
    he's in search of a home,
    he visits the flower in the gloam.

    The flower is shy and meek
    the laboring bee wants a peek
    to lay his lips on her bud,
    he sips her sweet nectar

    "but has his thirst been quenched?
    will he come back again?"
    wondered the flower in the gloam
    as the dawn approached.

    And then the seasons passed,
    the flower lost her blossomed past.
    As the bee disappeared,
    the flower's quietus neared.

    As she slipped into sleep
    she only thought of the bee,
    but he'd only come to attain
    the flower's strength and her sane.


  • zainabnajmi 58w

    Is It Okay?

    is it okay if i wake up heavy-hearted everyday?
    is it okay if my favorite hobby is to daydream and imagine a world without myself in it?
    is it okay if i believe that the world would be indifferent to my absence?

    is it okay if my mind has sucked the life out of me and it has left nothing within, but a poison that continues to fail in taking my life away?
    is it okay if i'm selfish about ending my pain for eternity by passing it onto others?
    is it okay if i don't know how to love someone selflessly?

    is it okay if i am not a good person?
    is it okay if i don't know how to be a good person?
    is it okay if i don't care enough about becoming a good person?

    is it okay if i don't know how to celebrate the unadorned pleasures of life?
    is it okay if nothing excites me anymore, but a mere thought of dying sends a chill of purpose down my spine?

    is it okay if i search for melancholy in everything around me?
    is it okay if i can't find a sole purpose in life?
    is it okay if i am floating through life meaninglessly without any ambitions?

    is it okay if i always feel lonely even when i have people looking out for me?
    is it okay if i feel like i don't fit in?
    is it okay if i don't fit in?

    is it okay if i want to spend the rest of my life locked inside my room without having to see anyone ever again?
    is it okay if i am worthless and can contribute nothing to this world?
    is it okay if i don't feel the desire to contribute anything to the world?

    is it okay if all i think about is death?
    is it okay if i sometimes talk to death?
    is it okay if death becomes my best friend?


  • zainabnajmi 60w


    Your touch was my poetry,
    it moved me to mysterious places
    in mystical times of love and tragedy,
    but we remained still in this fatal catastrophe.


  • zainabnajmi 60w

    You can miss someone and still not want them back in your life. I know you miss me, but you'd rather never see me again than risk another goodbye.

    #poetry #miss #missing #love #friendship #poem #poems #heartbreak #broken #depressed #depression #lonely #alone #loneliness #lovequotes #anxiety #breakup #sad #sadquotes

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    I Know You Miss Me

    I know you miss me,
    but your stomach no longer twists at the thought of me.

    I know you miss me,
    but your hands don't tremble while holding something attached to my memory.

    I know you miss me,
    but your chest does not sink and burn when you picture the long drives at night and how we were falling in love by locking eyes.

    I know you miss me,
    but your arms don't long for the touch of my skin when you're laying in bed alone at night.

    I know you miss me,
    but your nose no longer recalls the smell of my body that you once adored.

    I know you miss me,
    but your ears don't crave to hear the sound of my voice calling your name once more.

    I know you miss me,
    but your legs would rather walk away from me than walk miles along with me with our hands intertwined.

    I know you miss me,
    but your forehead would rather wipe itself away of my kisses today.

    I know you miss me,
    but your hair wishes to outgrow the strands that I had once touched.

    I know you miss me,
    but it's simple,
    you don't miss me enough to want me back;
    you don't miss me enough to love me again.

    I know you miss me
    but you'd rather that I died alone than die with me all over again.


  • zainabnajmi 60w

    i love you for twenty six years and more, and more, and more.

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    Twenty Six & More

    the rain is pouring
    on the night that you began existing
    twenty six years is a short span to record all your virtues and good deeds.

    tonight I wish I could caress your skin and remind you of all the things that you're capable of being,
    but here I lay breathing against my will;
    as I listen to the pitter patter of the raindrops on my broken heart's sill.


  • zainabnajmi 62w

    The Hathras gang rape has left me restless and wondering if this is truly what India's women mean to India. Everyday a new rape case disrupts the nation for a week or so, but then what? What are we doing to change this? Do we really care for the women who've lost their honour and life or are we only focused on the outrage and publicity?

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    Hathras Horror

    I hear the nation's cry, and yet I feel no tears trying to put out the fire on my burning body.

    I'm aware of their attempt to sabotage my wounds;
    I see the way they've painted them into a camouflage of lies.

    My cremated ashes speak my truth;
    My mother's ghastly shrieks and my father's silenced solitude.

    But don't worry,
    I'm still alive, and I'm breathing
    Can you feel me?

    So what if my brother couldn't bid me goodbye one last time?
    This has happened before, this is now normalized.

    The land of the birth of Rama and Krishna,
    The land of the sacred flowing Ganga
    has now perished into a stream of blood
    flowing from the eyes of the women it once took an oath to protect.

    The worshippers of Vishnu are disguised as the sinners of honour and humanity.

    It's okay though
    I'm right here,
    I'm alive, and I'm breathing

    I'm seeking justice for my bruised honour and impaired wounds,
    Can you still feel me?
    Are you still listening?


  • zainabnajmi 63w

    my heart aches for every soul who's up at night questioning their self worth because someone that they valued more than life itself left them believing that they weren't good enough. You are so important and the love you carry in your heart is exactly what the world needs. I love you so much. You matter.

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    You Matter

    You don't care
    if the blood in my body runs dry
    because your vision is too blurred from the insignificant matters of life
    to be able to recognize the value of each cell that the crimson red liquid flowing in my bloodstream holds,
    and how my heart would stop pumping if my chronic cells ever stopped carrying the irrevocable love I've sustained for you in my underfed bloodstreams.

    You just don't care,
    and your painstaking ignorance is my terminal illness.


  • zainabnajmi 63w

    I wish I could be there with you to celebrate the birth of your existence on this land, without which, I'd have nothing left in life to celebrate. I love you and I miss you so much. I hope you're happy and at peace wherever you are today. Happy Birthday, my love.

    - Yours, always.

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    if I were beside you amidst this plight
    as the clock struck twelve at midnight,
    I'd wrap you around my arms and cradle you in my lap;
    I'd sing to you as you stared into my deep dark eyes
    because no song is better tonight
    than your happy birthday lullaby.