Writing is my art of expression. Queen of melancholia �� Instagram: @ylviia.runa

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  • ylviia 1w

    You need to master the art of being conscious without being anxious.

  • ylviia 2w

    I'm killing myself to be the best. And even dead, I'll never be the best. It's all just so impossible~

  • ylviia 3w

    No matter what
    I can't find the words to express myself
    Do I feel the numbness throbbing in my chest
    Or is it the empty space that left a pit in my heart
    Helplessly wandering around asking what's wrong
    No one knows better than myself
    People shrug their shoulders and move on
    Walking around carelessly and freely
    I look at them and think to myself
    I wish that was me
    I wish I can forget
    Forget the pain, the anxiety, the joke that is my life
    Live in the present they say
    But I can't chain my soul that's been wandering around in the past and in the future
    As if my head was a time machine
    Yet I'll always be stuck in one body
    Never learned how to deal with emotions properly
    I don't even know why I am writing anymore
    I try to feel something
    Try to get back my medicine that helped me throughout the years
    But in the end the effect wore off just like every single method I use
    It feels forced but I don't want to give up on the one thing that used to make me feel better
    Feel alive, aware and present
    Now I am a spirit wandering around in every single life that is not mine
    Having no control over anything
    Losing touch with reality because it seems to be the easiest way out yet the most damaging one
    But what can I say
    The self destructive vein is killing me to kill me
    Wow...the last sentence didn't really make any sense

  • ylviia 7w

    #stranger #train
    PS: I named him Adam since I never got the chance to meet him properly. So that's him. Adam, the stranger that mesmerized me in every way in these short 30 minutes we shared together.

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    Brown hair, big eyes
    You stared at me when I came in
    I sat down and I felt your eyes on me
    I looked back and god damn
    You were so gorgeous and I was in awe
    I couldn't believe someone like you would even look at my direction
    Yet you did and I felt whole
    I live for small moments like these
    Meeting a complete stranger,
    Being mesmerized and captured in the moment
    But I couldn't take your glare
    Too scared of something that hasn't even happened yet
    So I looked outside,
    Seeing the landscape slip through my eyes
    The music blasting in my ears
    I felt your stare every single moment
    Everytime I took a glance at you
    You were there and attempting to read my soul
    You always tried to make eye contact
    And even though I could have gotten lost in your big blue eyes that soothed me like the ocean
    I didn't dare take a closer look at you
    Too scared to deepen the connection we already had
    And sadly soon you reached your destiny
    And left my path
    I saw you walk away from me
    And I took in everything that was left
    The moment ended
    The train door closed
    And we moved on with our lives

  • ylviia 11w

    I held a knife against my neck, I felt numb
    I wanted to slit my throat, paralysed
    I'm a fucking coward for not doing it
    I'm furious, frustrated
    Why the fuck couldn't I just die?
    I want an out, an end, a finale

  • ylviia 12w

    Once when I was young the world seemed easier, softer
    Happiness was easily achieved
    By the taste of sweets or the warmth of the sun
    Days stretched in length and time was endless
    The simplicity of life took over the young brain and things were easy
    Because I didn't know anything else

    Once I got older the reality sets in and we dream of a world so soft and simple
    Happiness weren't the goal, instead we lost sight of the spark
    Success and Achievements were the things that made us happy
    So it must equal happiness
    Neither did we know how wrong we were and how easily we were deceived

    Once when I reached the end, the journey seemed so distant
    The world is a familiar place and we were the ghosts of the previous habitants
    We finally found happiness and we experienced love
    Yet we know that we actually will never know anything
    We accept it and we move on
    Because we finally learned the rules of life

  • ylviia 16w

    Captured by the world of red
    Stormed by the tangled mess of chaos
    A surpressed boat trying to stay afloat
    The world is spinning and my mind is aching
    Guess the end of the day is near
    Broken pieces of glass on the floor
    The red carpet of blood shedded
    My breathing going heavily
    I scream from the top of my lungs
    Make it stop, it's not relieving, it's frightening.
    My hands shaking. What have I done?
    Yet the urge to destruction remains
    The black hole pulling you in
    Giving into the hatred of my soul
    To anyone that has ever hurt me
    I want you to feel the pain I've felt
    I want to feel justice just this once
    No matter the costs
    No matter the consequences

  • ylviia 17w

    My parents aren't satisfied with the way I turned out.
    Guess we both have that in common.

  • ylviia 18w

    What is poetry?

    Hello guys,
    I hope you all had a wonderful day and I'm going to go straight to the point.
    I've tried to inform myself about what poetry actually is and still, I have no definition or whatsoever.
    Are one-liners poetry? Aren't they called quotes or just simple statements?
    And what traditional rules are still present?
    Please comment down below and help a girl out :3
    I'm really conflicted whether what I post is really poetry or if it's just a text.
    I don't know and that's why I'm asking you guys. Thanks in advance and have a lovely time :)

  • ylviia 20w

    I got an invitation to hell
    I didn't want to appear rude
    So I showed up just this once
    The devil liked my company so much
    That he gave me a premium membership
    So now it's my obligation to make an appearance every now and then
    So if I seem lost in space, I'm sorry
    It's not because I am not interested
    I'm simply not present, not in the moment
    My mind is the place where the devil host its events, so I'm not able to escape
    I'm not able to just snap out of it
    I'm the golden guest that's not allowed to leave early, else my reputation will be ruined
    So I'm forced to stay a little longer
    Trying my best to blend in, to not peak Out
    So I'm sorry if I seem a little distracted
    I just can't be in two places at the same time