vera_anne_wolf

www.wattpad.com/user/VeraAnneWolf

Half-awake but still dreaming... The zombie found her pen again đź–Š

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  • vera_anne_wolf 103w

    Hurricane

    ***
    I messed up
    Don’t get up
    Please let’s not play it back.
    Where I went
    Who I was
    There’s no need to attack.
    Just a game
    That I lost
    Though you didn’t play fair.
    Is this second
    Mistake
    Young enough to compare?

    I don’t know why, don’t know why,
    Don’t know why
    I keep trying...
    I’m still stumbling, stumbling,
    Stumbling
    There’s no denying...
    Like a hurricane, hurricane,
    Hurricane
    Of confusion...
    I keep grumbling, grumbling,
    Grumbling
    Through each contusion.

    Roll your eyes
    Spin your lies
    I’ll pretend I don’t know.
    It’s too late
    To despise
    How you put on a show.
    Close the book
    Fold my hands
    Bare it all with a smile.
    Say one day
    We’ll be friends
    But we’re both in denial.


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 103w

    Still alive

    Don’t believe for a second that this has been easy. Every minute has been a battle between pride, anger, despair and fear. The last person I’d trust to see past my bluff is the one who stopped looking a long time ago. So if I crack, let it go. I am held together entirely by a resolution of pain. If I am short and speak harshly, ignore it. I simply lost the fight to hold it all in anymore. If my walls break and I cry in front of you, just keep walking. Chances are I’m not really feeling it—my body is simply trying to unload the “too much” life and you have laid at my door. If I am in pain then I must still be alive; because that is all life has ever given me. So go on. Continue your abandonment as planned. I’ll be fine, eventually. Eventually is just a long time away.

    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 104w

    Dust, Venom & Pride

    ***
    I speak through dust with ink and satin stains.
    Of legends past, of sins and death,
    and ghosts that still remain.
    I clutch at truth, restless with unease
    Tear out my eyes, to see through the lies
    That ripple with disease.

    A shadow falls on fingers chained to pen
    How can I cry? I’ve merely tried
    to let the past seep in.
    But who can judge and who can claim the prize?
    Their bones are dust, there is no trust,
    there’s only greed inside.

    A war of words is played with velvet hands
    Can good prevail where evil dwells
    within the common man?
    A snake may bite, its venom kills with ease.
    But what’s dead inside is your soul not pride
    though you do as you please.

    So humble child before you cast a stone
    Look past yourself, does it really help,
    and know you’re not alone.
    A naked babe, with eyes never to see
    Is judged by pride, is killed inside
    and ripped out through her knees.

    Before you strike with venom on your tongue
    Look past the games, and the twisted blame
    and make sure you’re not wrong.
    Gossip spreads faster than disease
    It lays man low, with no proof to show
    And destroys his life with ease.

    Now though we rise to meet the coming foe.
    We are the same, it’s such a shame,
    to act like we don’t know.
    This tide will fall and sweep the flames away
    So where will you stand? With a gun in hand
    or with nothing to say?


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 105w

    Rewind

    ****
    Don’t fuck over
    the way you made
    me feel inside.
    I bare it well,
    but you weren’t there,
    the days I cried.
    We come undone,
    each stitch is pulled
    in agony.
    Now I’m a fucking mess
    with what you’ve
    left inside of me.

    And all I want to do is hit rewind...
    To make every thing better
    one more time.
    But the one place I can’t go
    is in your mind
    And you’re the one who made
    my love a crime.

    So shut the curtains,
    lock the doors,
    and hold it in.
    I’m wondering
    where I went wrong
    and your lies begin.
    The sand castle
    has washed away
    beneath my tears.
    So I’m counting numbers
    to compress
    my deepest fears.

    And all I want to do is hit rewind...
    Go back to when I knew
    that you were mine.
    But the one place I can’t go
    is in your mind
    And you’re the one who made
    my love a crime.

    Counting numbers in my head
    till I can breathe.
    Waiting for a heart to beat
    inside of me.
    Jaded by the way you made me feel
    Does love even exist—is it even real?


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 106w

    Stitch wings into my soul,
    I want to remember how it feels to be whole.
    Make my heart diamond hard,
    So I’ll forget that it’s broken and scarred.

    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 107w

    We speak as loud as thunder
    Yet act as meek as mice.


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 107w

    What is __?

    ***
    What is Stress?
    It’s like a count down
    A waiting for a reckoning
    An inescapable curse.
    Ever watch a small animal or bug
    Fall into a container of water?
    They scratch and scramble
    But they can never climb out.
    So they wear themselves out
    Fighting an unbeatable battle
    Against Fate. Against Death.
    What is Anxiety?
    The fear of falling asleep
    The exhaustion of waking.
    The step, step, step
    And breath, breath, breath.
    And then panic.
    Trapped in a barrel of water.
    What? How? Why?
    None of this matters.
    But I did my best!
    I was doing everything right!
    Good intentions won’t help
    You climb free.
    What is depression?
    You’re drowning—
    You’re strength is giving out
    You’re nails are bleeding
    You’re lungs are screaming
    You’re screaming
    And the water sucks you down.
    What is Hope?
    The darkness at the bottom
    The chill that takes over
    While you stare at the surface
    Searching for a glimmer of light.
    And then you think—
    If I could just get to the surface
    If I could just fight a little longer
    Maybe someone will tip the barrel over
    Maybe, somehow, I’ll survive this.
    If I don’t give up.
    What is Life?
    Life is falling into the barrel
    Life is fighting not to drown
    Life is surviving—somehow.
    Life is knowing you’ll fall in again
    —and next time you might not escape.



    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 108w

    Wolf

    ***
    It’s just another dark cloud
    Wrapped up inside my mind
    I try hiding myself away
    But the truths not far behind.
    It’s just another midnight
    Exhausted yet restless
    Counting all my failures
    And betrayals I can’t forget.

    Who am I when daylight comes?
    I thought I found forever
    But the dream has come undone.
    So who am I supposed to be?
    I cry like I’m the victim
    But the Wolf was always me.

    It’s just another heartbreak
    But this time I’m far too numb
    I watch you leave us behind
    And move on with someone.
    It’s just another battlefield
    Of chaos and deceit
    But you’ll never be the victor
    Because this time I won’t retreat.

    Who am I when daylight comes?
    I thought I found forever
    But the dream has come undone.
    So who am I supposed to be?
    I cry like I’m the victim
    But the Wolf was always me.

    It’s just another lesson
    Of the selfishness of man
    You cry just like a coward
    But we both know where you stand.
    While I dug up the key
    To the darker side of me
    Don’t ask me for forgiveness
    When the Wolf has been set free.


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 109w

    Shadows of Christmas

    ***
    We wait for the morning
    And watch the clouds clear
    We’re searching the shadows
    But you’re no longer here.
    We put on a smile
    And get through the day.
    We cry far too easy
    But pretend we’re okay.

    When she calls you
    You’re not there—
    You’re lost in delusions
    Of your love affair.
    And when she clings
    So tight to me.
    I wrap my arms around her
    And swear I’ll never leave.

    We curl up together
    But leave your side bare.
    She doesn’t ask for you
    But your ghost is still here.
    I hide all my tears
    Until she fast asleep
    When she has nightmares
    I always kiss her cheek.

    When she asks why
    You’re not here..?
    That’s just one of the things
    That I find hard to bare.
    Because when I think
    Of who you’re with...
    How could we ever thank you
    For this Christmas gift?

    We wait for the morning
    And watch the clouds clear
    We’re searching the shadows
    But you’re no longer here.
    We put on a smile
    And get through the day.
    We cry far too easy
    But pretend we’re okay.


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 110w

    Kerosene

    ***
    Who lit the thread?
    This is dynamite my dear.
    What was the poison
    That brought you here?
    You’re at the end of your rope
    Slide your card here to cope
    I’ll sell you kerosene
    To burn your broken dreams.

    Life just a game
    Of fraud and blame
    So bury your pain
    And drink up your shame.
    You’re at the end of the line
    You’re sick of saying you’re fine.
    I’ll sell you kerosene
    To burn your broken dreams.

    So burn, baby burn
    Cut them off at the door.
    Burn, let it burn
    Till it doesn’t hurt anymore.
    Who needs a bridge to nowhere?
    It’s not like they even care...
    Their just shadows—
    Nothing more than illusions of air.

    Who struck the blow?
    This is murder my dear.
    Pretend you don’t know
    As you bury me here.
    Grab your keys and escape
    We both know it’s too late
    I’ll sell you kerosene
    To burn your broken dreams.


    ©vera_anne_wolf