vera_anne_wolf

www.wattpad.com/user/VeraAnneWolf

Half-awake but still dreaming... The zombie found her pen again 🖊

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  • vera_anne_wolf 21w

    All That Remains

    ***
    And all that remains are broken bones
    Left in a pile she once called home.
    The fire burnt out long ago…
    Where she went, nobody knows.

    A veil of ash upon her face
    What fire took can’t be replaced.
    All her dreams are filled with ghosts…
    But when she wakes she’s still alone.

    A melted photograph remains
    Upon a tombstone with two names.
    Where angels and gods all turned away…
    From the one who wished she hadn’t stayed.

    Time moves on without a tear
    She was but a soul who lingered here.
    Until she breathed her last with grace
    With a smile of relief upon her face.

    All that remains are dust and names,
    But I feel her smiling all the same.


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 43w

    #mirakee #veteran #awareness #suicide
    Veterans consist of 13.5% of all deaths by suicide in US adults but only make up 7.9% of the US adult population. Veterans are more likely to commit suicide than adults who never served in the military. Female veterans are more likely than male veterans to commit suicide. You can do your own research. Just something to be aware of especially while COVID has provided a multitude of excuse (yes, some justified) to delay care for veterans.

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    Another One Down

    I admit that I got knocked down
    But I never said I was out.
    Just trying to take another breath
    while these screams keep breaking out.
    I’m not bleeding onto pages
    to beg strangers to look or care.
    It’s a little hard for you to judge me
    When you’re standing over there.
    Whether its calamity or insanity
    I’m just struggling to cope.
    They dangle reason in front of me
    While they rip out every hope.
    Take a pill and you’ll be better
    Just a mindless body left to float.
    They wonder why the numbers keep rising
    While they dig up another moat.

  • vera_anne_wolf 76w

    It’s so easy to Fall

    ***
    Follow me down
    it’s so easy fall
    Laughing in pain
    cause we’re having a ball
    Don’t explain,
    you either get it or don’t.
    Don’t cry now,
    you’ll either live or you won’t.

    Cover your mouth
    and shut the hell up.
    Nobody cares
    cause we all got it rough.
    Dangling tears
    like they’re priceless jewels
    Watch their hands
    they’ve got nothing to lose.

    Follow me down
    it’s so easy to fall
    Screaming in pain
    cause I don’t care at all.
    Set me on fire
    push me over the edge
    Laugh while I dance
    cause it’s all in my head.

    One man’s trash
    is another man’s gold
    A broken heart
    doesn’t glitter I’m told.
    Digging my grave
    till my fingers bleed red.
    You can’t save me
    cause it’s all in my head.

  • vera_anne_wolf 82w

    Live Without You

    ***

    Shake my faith in everyone
    Take me back before I learn to run
    Wash my tears with empty promises
    We both know I am just your hostage

    You can’t make me better after all
    So let me fall, fall, fall...
    Leave me here ignore my every call
    So I will crawl, crawl, crawl...

    And learn to Live Without You.

    Cut me off every time I try to speak
    Twist my words till I feel incomplete
    Shadow me with your insecurities
    Till I don’t know who I used to be.

    You can’t make me better after all
    So let me fall, fall, fall...
    Leave me here ignore my every call
    So I will crawl, crawl, crawl...

    And learn to Live Without You.

    Scream it all into my soul
    I want to feel every secret you unfold
    Brake me down till I can’t breathe
    You know the pain is what I really need.

    You can’t make me better after all
    So let me fall, fall, fall...
    Leave me here ignore my every call
    So I will crawl, crawl, crawl...

    And learn to Live Without You.


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 88w

    Nightingale

    ***
    And with death’s kiss I finally found
    The weight had fallen the ground
    The shattered mess of empty lies
    The hardened scars that I despised.
    It’s just a shame, it’s all too late
    The shadows come to seal my fate.
    Another lost tormented soul
    Even in death can’t be made whole.

    So weep—weep for me, Nightingale
    Let your lonely breaking heart
    Ease my tattered broken shell.
    Please sing—sing for me, Nightingale
    I’ll drink the nectar of your love
    To quench the fires here in hell.

    It’s just a bird, or so they say
    As he flitters in his way
    Zipping high throughout the sky
    Searching for love until he dies.
    And when he falls upon the ground
    Shadows circle all around.
    Before his soft feathers decay
    His soul is spirited away.

    So weep—weep for me, Nightingale
    Let your lonely breaking heart
    Ease my tattered broken shell.
    Please sing—sing for me, Nightingale
    I’ll drink the nectar of your love
    To quench the fires here in hell.


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 89w

    Not Human

    ***
    I look above me in the sky
    And watch the world go flying by.
    And know that I’m forgotten
    Though I could not tell you why.
    Although I’m chased, I still get no where
    Although I fall, I’ll never fly.
    I’m a dream that’s burned to ember
    And someday will surely die.

    And it’s so cold...
    But I wrap my heart in sheets of ice
    And pretend that I don’t know.
    But I’m so tired...
    Of watching summer come to everyone
    While I’ll never feel its fire.

    I used to play with flowers
    And I used to fall in love.
    But Baby flowers wither
    And I was never good enough.
    So I tumbled to the bottom
    Of the crags where garbage goes.
    And I learned to love the shadows
    As I kept my doorway closed.

    And it’s so cold...
    But I wrap my heart in sheets of ice
    And pretend that I don’t know.
    But I’m so tired...
    Of watching summer come to everyone
    While I’ll never feel it’s fire.

    I sometimes hear the rain
    Crying against my lonely heart.
    I wish that I could save it
    But I don’t where to start.
    Because I know that I’m not human
    I’m invisible you see.
    Because even I’ve forgotten
    The person that I used to be...

    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 90w

    Shatter

    ****
    Mmm, My heart fell like a comet
    Crying a broken sonnet
    For the world to look upon it
    And leave a jaded comment.

    But the pain was laced in star dust
    Glittered memories of broken trust
    When love placed wings upon us
    And a kiss was filled with promise.

    Now the darkness holds no safety
    The sunlight makes me shaky
    And I don’t know why I’m waiting
    Because this nightmare isn’t breaking.

    Mmm, they say look towards tomorrow
    New love will break my sorrow
    But I don’t think I can swallow
    The next heartbreak that will follow.

    Because the fall has left me scattered
    Your lies have left me battered
    And I feel like I don’t matter
    So I hold my breath and shatter...


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 91w

    I realize I’m still stuck in this rut. But sometimes a good vent is needed to remind me why I’m here. #heartbreak #movingon #findingmyself #venting #empty #promises #love #mirakee

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    I lose

    ***
    I lose myself inside the places
    Where the answers only debases
    The promises that once we made
    When we were young and unafraid.

    I find my self in painful truth
    That love will end as will my youth
    And empty words hold equal worth
    To those that love but still can hurt.

    I lose myself in each direction
    Fighting for you and your attention
    But every effort results the same
    My fight for you was all in vain.

    So now I stand alone yet free
    Resolved to be loved by none but me.
    And if I should stray from this pact
    I know this pain will bring me back.


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 92w

    Humanity Lost

    ***
    It’s quite a slippery slope, isn’t it?
    Like a finger squeezing on the trigger
    That we never meant to pull, but we did.
    So too are our actions.
    The moment when we choose to be kind—or not to be.
    What does it mean “to not be kind?”
    To forget the target of our words, actions, and inactions are in fact directed at another human being.
    Well it most certainly could not be cruel.
    How could it?
    We’ve slipped so comfortably into this cold numbness.
    This reasoning that allows us to prioritize our safety, happinesses, and peace of mind over others.
    We’ve created a new logic, a justified means of reasoning, a self-imposed pair of rose-colored glasses to what we are becoming.
    Cruel? Insensitive? Uncaring? Capable of inflicting emotional, physical, and even mental injuries on another human being.
    And how would we describe such a person?
    The word “Monster” comes to mind.
    But how could we be Monsters?
    Indeed how could we be, when it is so easy to defend ourselves with excuses.
    We say, “Our life was so much harder.” As if we were there to witness every moment of their life and can thereby measure, judge, and compare.
    “We had a bad day.” As if the presence of a smile ruled out any pre-existing pain in those we’ve now inflicted fresh pain upon. As if the family around them means they have the perfect home. As if the clothes they wear mean they are in perfect health.
    Excuses.
    Where would we be without them? The easy distraction from the discord of a reality we no longer have to face for those few moments we witness someone else’s world crumbling—because of what we did.
    The addictive power of holding that control sets our chin higher as we push those glasses—further—up.
    “Oh, but it’s not that bad!” As if we left cameras to record the ripples our discord has left, that echoes on throughout the hours of the day and even into the night.
    That becomes the justified excuses which perpetuates further misplaced anger, pain, and disappointment.
    Because if karma was real and struck like lightening how many of you would dare walk outside?
    The world asks us to be kind, as if it is your right to do so.
    I say be kind because the alternative is not to be.
    Because an angel is kind until pushed to righteous fury. But a devil holds no such moral compass.
    And that is after-all what it means to be human.
    To posses the moral compass of a god.
    To choose to be kind or inflict pain.
    No excuses.
    Good or Evil.
    So in a world where the line was long ago washed into the gutters.
    Remember, that you are human too.
    So do unto others what you would have other do to you...


    ©vera_anne_wolf

  • vera_anne_wolf 93w

    Impersonator

    ***
    I look back on the past two months since my hopes and future dreams imploded.
    I look back and see myself but also someone who is not me.
    I see this piece of me, this corner of my heart that was ripped out cruelly and discarded.
    I watch it wiggle, writhe, rise, and slowly take its own form.
    This impersonation clings to me like a shadow.
    Shoving its pain into the fresh wound of my heart at every opportunity.
    I battle it, wanting to breath, wanting to move on, desperately needing to heal.
    But it’s grip is relentless.
    It keeps me awake in the long hours of the night, blaming me for its pain.
    For not being good enough.
    For being so easily discarded.
    Why won’t I listen to its blood thirsty need for revenge.
    Why do I always have to be nice, even to those who use and abuse me.
    I listen to its wails, unable to silence their truth.
    Who better to criticize me then my own shadow.
    Who could better understand my pain than the bit of flesh torn from my very heart.
    I feed it my resentment and bitterness and watch it grow. Then I shove it into the nearest dark corner because I am ashamed of it.
    I understand it’s anger, it’s loneliness and fear, but I know I cannot accept it.
    There is a time for anger and a time to heal.
    I know my heart, confidence, and trust have been broken...yet again. But this is not the answer.
    So I starve it bit by bit. Feeding it positive thoughts. Burying it beneath the mountain of change I welcome into my life. Suffocating it with cold hard logic
    Because it’s time to say goodbye. In order to move on, be at peace and heal I have to let go.
    It thrashes at me harder still. Unwilling to accept the end I have chosen.
    I wait, arms wrapped around all the fear, doubt, and uncertainty until the flesh that was once a piece of my heart grows cold. Until the pain has become numb, and the love I once needed as much as the air I breath has turned to stone.
    A stone that I will pick up with trembling hands. A stone I must kiss because it was not wrong to love as I once did. Because I know that how others treat me is not a reflection of who I am but rather who they are.
    I will wait a while until the moment is right. I will wait until the moon and stars can bare witness; and beneath their sorrow I will add one more stone to the bottomless sea.
    But that moment is not now.
    Though the stars are bright and the waves beckon. My impersonator and I sit side by side.
    Because no one else will understand my tears better than the girl who once was me.


    ©vera_anne_wolf