I don't know why we people are growing this awkward! Why are we hesisting to share our problem? Why are we giving up the process of fixing us? Why are we trying to avoid the problem? Why are we trying to habituate to our problem? Why? Why can't we just stop over thinking? In this competitive world how come we dissing our knowledge with stupid depressions? Don't we have any cure?
27/10/2010 Doesn't remember all what happened but some thing happened which is pricking me deeply inside till now! It was evening time heard the news that mother condition is going critical . I was praying to Allah every single moment and asking my aunt when she will come to home when I am going to meet . She was comforting me soon she will ! Any how she made me to have dinner and make me sleep and I tried to sleep but not actually slept all my concentration was on the conversation on phone where someone saying all the situation is going bad no hopes of living .I started crying for that time and trusted my almighty so much that he will sort out all .in crying I got slept suddenly I got a Dream where my mamma is lying on the floor as dead person made to laid .soon after I was shocked all my senses stopped all Iwas feeling scarry when I was closing my eye all the dream coming Infront of me as if it is reality . Sudden I heard the noise my aunt shouting no one is there in home shouting madly on almighty all my fear is gonna be real. Soon I approach to she her she hugged me and started crying what going on I am not able to understand . We went to hospital...... hospital is fulled by our relatives all I seen the horrible shoutings and crying . All are hugging me !! Still I was in hope mamma will be all right and soon she will come to home as I trusted Allah and left on This was unbearable to hear that mamma at her last breath also chanting my name asking each and every person to make her meet to me .as I said this I went near to the ICU room from glass I saw all the machines and I become mad what is all . All that which I seen in TV shows I was stucked and my steps backed up me . All I got unconscious from there I was taken to my home there I get some aware it's all about to Morning 28/10/2010 I was asking my aunt's when they (relatives) will be coming to home with mamma . they all said soon . It was all around 10am someone called to arrange the house . All putting white matrix on the floor all making some changes something or the other silently with out knowing me when I came out I was confused and asked my aunt why are you doing this all here what happened firstly she said your mother is coming on the way but I was not satisfied with this answer suddenly she hugged me and started crying so loudly and saying you mother is no more she left us !!And all like last day to live in my home ! All I can hear the sound of crying and was so mad at that time to that I was pulling my hair and beating my self and suddenly got again unconscious when I back to the living I was my mother after 2 days lying on the floor same as I was in my dream .I not able to accept this and in fear I didn't went near also this day was like hell to me all I stayed unconscious and when she was taking away from home I was made to be conscious and asking me to touch and see mamma as much as you can .it was the first time I saw my father crying and around 6-7pm I saw my mother for the last time . All turned to ten years but still my eyes searched for her still my ears hear her voice all my night are useless as I can't able to sleep without her ! This all I said with you not to gain any sympathy or for something but to introduce with the reality .no one exists forever but some time only there to stay with ! Yeah it's true that dead will come to each and every person it will not leave us it's all about our karma and how we treat and live in this temporary life ! No need to say what you people to do as all you knows already! Keep my mother in your prayers .