उम्मीद करता हूँ आप सब का साथ मेरे साथ भी बना रहें आपका प्यार आप की दुआ में मेरा नाम भी हो आज के इस मुकाम पर आकर एक नया जीवन सुरु मेरी कलम का हुआ आज मेरी कलम के जन्म दिन में जरूर बनाऊंगा आप सब भी मेरे नए जन्म पर मेरा साथ दें ... मुझे नहीं पता मेरा जन्म दिन कोनसे दिन कोनसी तारीख को है बस स्कूल की मार्कशीट पर 20 -- 08 -- 1987 लिखा है जो की गलत है और साल भी बढ़ाकर लिखा है पर आज सही मानो तो 21 -- 07 -- 2020 ही मेरा नया जन्म हुआ है एक बात और आप सब को बताना चाहता हूँ 21 -- o6 2014 मेरे बेटे जुनैद का जन्म दिन है और 21 --- 12 -- 2015 में मेरी बेटी ज़ीनत का जन्म दिन है और आज 21 -- 07 -- 2025 मेरी कलम का
when i look at people older than me, i often wonder how they made it here. how life didn’t swallow them whole. i study their faces like a map, i see the pools of weariness in their eyes. i see the way wrinkles dangle around their mouths, how the lines seep into their skin, little reminders of how long they’ve lived. i glide my eyes over their hands, the signs of growth and age splattered on their knuckles. i wonder about the stories they’ve gone through, i wonder if they were the protagonist or the antagonist. i wonder how they managed to wake up, to sleep, to exist through so many days and nights. i get overwhelmed. i can’t even fathom the thought of tomorrow, i can’t look at it with willing eyes, i can’t embrace it with open arms. instead, i dread it. i look at all the days i've lived, and they hang around my head, all the old memories, they haunt me. and so i wonder how they did it. i wonder how they’ll continue to do it, until death decides it’s time to take them. i wonder if i’ll ever get there. if i’ll ever look in the mirror, and the fine lines growing across my face will be normal, welcoming. i wonder if my days will be worth waking up for, if the thought of tomorrow will become a gift i’m lucky enough to receive. i can’t picture myself like that, aging, embracing. i can’t muster up a version of me with gray hair, and crepe skin. i’ve always thought i’d be gone too young, that this sadness would sink me into my grave before a wrinkle could settle into my fake smile. i’ve been convinced i won’t make it out of this battle alive; that this darkness is too strong, too thick to break through. i don’t know if i’ll ever be an old soul. but i do know i’ve been a drowning one. a lost one. a dying one.
Whenever I cried or was sad during my childhood, maa would do her little trick , it always felt like sorcery. She would move her velvet like hands over my head with all the love she had for me and would gently brush through my hair . As if like a hurricane it would toss off every that bad thing which disturbed me and frankly it did . I would forget everything and be exuberant again . May be that's why I called it a trick .
Few days ago , I was preoccupied in my books and suddenly she entered into my room, her feet make rhythmic sound of paino notes . She stood besides me and casted the old spell on me again and before I could realise or say anything, she silently left the room. Silence says alot and that day I heard it . It felt like every song of her love for me played in those few seconds.
It was not something casual anymore like childhood. I'm so called mature now. But yes like before it did the magic. May be it was not the naive me who was being tricked as kid but her magical love which always enchanted me. Mother like a serene beauty nurtures us but we in our so called maturing phase tend to get so lost in our own minds that we forget to thank her and sometimes to take out our so precious time to spend with her. Mother is a blessing in disguise , appreciate her and embrace her.
P. S. : I know today isn't mothers day or any such event but why do I need a particular day to celebrate such a special person in my life? The following structure is my first try to this type. I hope it turned out OK...
Umm, hi? And about this piece? An attempt to break this writer's block. I don't know if I passed or failed, but I smiled after writing this. Even though it's nothing, I smiled. Sorry, ignore this if you wish to.
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