Depression is lying . It’s me telling you I’m fine when inside I’m dying . Faking a laugh just to keep from crying . Rest assured, this inability to move is NOT from LACK of trying .
I try to explain but your words are denying. “Happiness is a choice,” “You’re not trying hard enough,” “Cheer up,” “You have nothing to be depressed about. ”
That’s the problem. You don’t see - The demons, Or hear - The lies, Or feel -The weight That’s crushing me inside , Because I hide.
We say : When did our society decide to ignore This disease of the mind? When did our default Become believing the “I’m fine?” When will we all open our eyes And cease being blind To the life behind the mask and the hurt behind the laugh?
Or maybe? We should stop just saying “I’m fine.” Maybe we must choose to stop our own lying. Maybe it’s not you, but me who’s denying. Sure sometimes I hear words that do anything but help to soothe the pain . But maybe you could learn if I only tried to teach . Maybe the problem isn’t you, Just maybe ... Maybe it’s me....
Which is why I’ve decided to tell you what’s real . I’m hurting – I’m struggling . Sometimes I’m suffocating .
Maybe I feel alone because I’ve decided not to let you in Maybe you’ve approached my door, and I just haven’t opened. Maybe it’s not you, Just maybe, it’s me. And maybe everything would change, If I just showed you my door’s key...
Fuck This is to the people who've never heard me curse Who've never seen my left eyebrow raising Who've never seen my thumb and middle finger joining to scream, to snap Now you'll know what I mean by fuck when you hear it More often than usual perhaps So fuck means how am I still alive when all I hear is breaking bones, eroding veins and a hating blood tank called heart Fuck means yeah I made it It also means how the hell did it take me so long How was I so stupid Fuck means fuck you and I couldn't care less It also means God how's it possible to care this much Fuck means am done and it also means man I have a long way to go. Fuck means hell no and it also means of course yes. It means I don't want to see your face but it also means shit I can't stop staring at you Fuck means I'm great but mostly it means why do you care. It means I don't deserve this but used to mean ey I messed up. Fuck means ow boy where to hide But nowadays it means let's see what happens It means so what With fingers snapping And brows raised.