You ever been in a moment when you start to see the true colors of people, their selfish intentions and deceptive mannerisms behind thick flesh stitched masks?
Oblivious to what you know, manipulators go on with their tricks, leaving behind lost traces that lead you to the focal point of their web of lies.You stay grounded, fixated to your core of resilience, grasping signs and processing from what you were fed as a sense of veracity. Emotional triggering, passive aggression defence mechanism and playing the victim card to save their own skin are minimised to dull-witted particulates which only lay a guilt trip on you. Once cracked, everything seems like a see through layer that outlines their invested misconception of a cutthroat world and twig strong attempts to establish power for gratifying one's own sensibilities. Deep down, it's fear, fear of losing control and having to crawl back to a shell of unworthiness.
Izeda is still an hour and a fistful of earth away for the bloodthirsty giant catnapping in my cells. Soon, the train would come to a halt in the pacifically silent Portugal town. I gyrated my head in the vicinity of my tipping balance; jostling pros and shunning cons with never enough equanimity. Each and every one of the 2100 thoughts that ran in my mind, in the past hour, were conflicting. All are holding me on a cliff, wishing they could be the wind to bite my neck, the acid to fondly caress the skin inside my shirt and the rain to drench my senses in self-loath before pushing me off the edge. I've been told endless times that it was mercy what I've left to beg for.
"Mesopotamia, the land between two rivers!" a voice exclaimed. Another said, "To be precise, they are Tigris and Euphrates." My somnolent eyes followed the sounds responsible for disrupting my peace. They laid hard on two young, clean lads who looked polar opposite to my rough, ruffled and greasy demeanour. Thanks to my still functioning ears, I eavesdropped and gathered pieces of their conversation. I've put the puzzle together, they been quizzing their knowledge on the Babylonians, the spectators of the mighty sky and their territory. I heard the words ring in my head- you will grow into a star, a star that shines beautifully, not in a corner but with the rest, together as one to illuminate the night sky- in my mom's voice. I smiled unaware of to how many I would tell my version of the tale.
My mind raced back to the last time grandpa called me in for supper. Stale bread, half broken bowls with greasy soup and dessert was always a broken home. Not that day though, mom promised me serradura, a bribe for me to play till eventide when grandpa knocked on the door with two men in ironed suits and trimmed beards. I starved myself with waiting, I waited and waited while he drank his new rum. I stood up and went to my room, broken homes always had cracks large enough for daggers to slip in to put you to sleep. The next day, I was on my way out of Sortelha with a half empty pocket full of blood and a knife that began the polydipsia for that in my veins.
I crossed borders of towns and cities, I was never hungry for food, never knew what a full stomach felt like. I was thirsty, I drew blood from every throat that had its mouth flinging cusses in my way. I cut fingers of those who had their hands up to teach me a lesson. USELESS! BARMY! LUNATIC! BRUTE! Actions always will speak louder than words, my action was just one in a sequence...stab, stab and stab.
The compartment couch have a few more faces, an unobservant one in her 20s staring out of the window and two more who looked greyer than the clouds passing by. "Five more minutes", said the old man. He took a deep breath before checking his bag. The young lads chuckled, the man stood up and threw his arm around one of the lads, the old woman got up too. The young lady held on to the hand of the other youngster. I looked inside my torn sack, what looked back were a bottle of grain whiskey, an empty packet of cancer sticks and a knife that was washed only by the rain.
My fondest and most valuable possession gave me a stink eye. It was time to feed it, it knew the taste of 52 dead meat. I eyed every single one of these people, observing and calculating how to channelize my energy on them. It was time, I took out my knife and was ready to feed it.
5 minutes later.
The train halted and I got out. The number went up higher. 56 and counting. I heard the echoing whistle, it dragged me back to reality. I held onto my mom's hand. We have a train to catch back home. A home where we always have enough bread and wine for two.
The ministry of HOME AFFAIRS should actually be helping the poor, the ill-treated, the discriminated guys from a dilemma. A problem that has remained unsolved for years and still no strict action is taken against this. I will file an RTI for this problem on behalf of every guy like me. For few unexplainable instances you are treated as (Imagine Bacchan ji saying this) : "Ab tu bada ho gya hai Zimmedariyan sambhal.. Sansaarik(सांसारिक) gyan smjh..."
While for many other cases, when you think you're a grown up, they say (In Shatrughan ji's voice) : "Tu chhota hai Chhota banke rah.. Zyada bada banne ki koshish mat kar"
The situation of being the only son, only brother, only guy when your dad is working in the office (saying bhai ab tu dekh) is quite drastic.. Basically you're a punching bag for everyone....
Starting with the adorable relationship between Saas-Bahu... I blame Hindi TV serials alone for this. (I guess I'm blaming them twice) The situation is not at all like that shown in daily soaps. Neither too sweet that both of them starts dancing together on road on a sassy song nor too venomous that they both want to kill each other. It's somewhere between "Jaisa chal rha hai chalne dijiye" & "Jaan se nhi maarungi".
Grew up in the time when Tulsi was crying for Mihir and my mother being nostalgic about it everyday. When 'KASAUTI ZINDAGI KI' has actually became a reality (for me handling both of them is more than a 'kasauti') *Please don't judge me on the fact that I know the name of most of the serials. What do you expect to come out when this is the only thing we used to watch* (Actually mom used to watch, we were just forced to watch it during lunch and dinner) It wasn't until 7th standard that I gotta know there's a whole new fascinating universe of Ben 10, Spiderman, Hulk, Thor, Superman and not forgetting Shaktimaan. When mom wasn't at home I touched the most preserved archaic thing which no one was allowed to touch - THE REMOTE. Pressed a few buttons in exploration and discovered DISCOVERY channel, National Geographic followed it. I felt betrayed said this to myself, "Itna sab kuchh chhupaya gaya merse". I was thinking about starting an 'ASAHYOG ANDOLAN'(Non-Cooperation Movement) or maybe an 'ANN-SHUN' but then I realized it's better to enjoy what I was given.
Abhishek Upmanyu and Joey shares a common thought and I too believe that. Never hit a woman. And Elders should be respected. The only group of people left is 'CHHOTTE LADKE' I am that Choota ladka in my family. My situation at home is like Omkar of Dangal movie. Whoever has a grudge against anyone and they can't do anything about it, I (just like an idiot) jump in between thinking I would sort everything out. But just like a WWE referee, both opponents give me chokeslam and I lie lifelessly in the boxing ring. (Although things do get normal after that) The most amusing game that they play together is staring into each other's eyes. Laila-Majnu, Heer-Raanjha, Romeo-Juliet, Shirin-Farhad all would become envious seeing them. They could have beccome the best lovers lost into each other (Just the expressions are a little different)
Being a guy you are supposed to be Bear grylls. Actually not supposed to be but you ought to be. The difference is - Instead of eating insects, you have to throw them away from your house. You can't be afraid of these things as there's no choice left. Lizards, rats, cockroaches, Frogs they are like "Bhai abhi aur aa rhe hai... Terko khaali nhi baithne denge dekh" And I am like "Yaar kisi bhi time mil jao.. Ye raat ko 3 bje kyu dukhi karte ho" (Imagine at 3 am when someone screams like Bipasha Basu of Raaz as if she had seen a ghost but it turns out to be a cockroach in the washroom )
The worst is when you've a sister. I have 2 of them. Your choices are altered for worse. My favourite flavour of ice cream is still strawberry. (I know you won't judge me but my friends do.) I've denied my sisters many times that I won't be painting their nails with anything. And still for the few times in the whole damn year when I feel like "Come on I can do it one time. That's not making me any less of a guy". At that unlucky time my best friend comes to my home watching me removing nail paint with the thinner and telling her this colour doesn't suit you. You don't even realize that you're becoming what you aren't until one of your saint friend enlighten you with the fact just like Chandler "YOU'RE TURNING INTO A WOMEN" One thing which I'm still bad at - I still don't know which sandals/boots goes with this top.
Being the only guy, you are a hanger for the purse , the Zomato's, Grofers' , Swiggy's delivery guy not just for your home but for your neighbors too. You are supposed to be the toughest and strongest guy no matter if your legs are trembling while holding the 'Sabzi wala bag' in the market. My sisters unnecessarily threatened gym-pumped muscular guys on my name saying "Tu mere bhai ko nhi jaanta". And they really don't know me. Because when they do, they'll leave me looking at my physique of Pity...
the young minds shouldnt believe that the world is all dark.,and life is tough ..life cant be all joy,tough times comes along with the package,its not the end though....people have survived it,and we will survive too..
As I was growing up the stories I heard about love started getting strange.
I always felt love was a sense of comfort, like meeting a stranger on a foreign land who speaks your native language with utter fluency. But what I never knew was, when my story will reach its climax, its inevitable end, I will forget how to communicate, making me forever mute and vacuous.
I thought I knew how to narrate happiness and love in eleven languages. As I grew up I recited sadness in eleven different eulogies on the grave of love.
They told me love always comes dressed in the cloak of relief and solace, like downpour that soothes your bruises and cracks on a warm day.
I am still waiting for this incessant rain filled with unending rage and ruins of a distant past to stop. This downpour of love just didn't know how to use punctuations, when to stop, when to start.
Garnished in ornaments Embellished in beauty of sword A soldier born in grace A queen is not a phase For someone good for The looks rather A word to describe a Warrior with adorn weapons
If being a girl was a sin I'll rather say I am happy to be cursed with it Than being born as a slave noble on your strings , blessed you claim, A real queen shall never fail to succeed her position For a woman deserves to be served and to serve her people with loyalty and dedication and respect to be followed!
A real queen is always a queen Whether she lives in a palace or a shanty Her actions speaks her heart and mind Her soul is the best spiritual entity named on land Growing vain in her blood rises in others pain As she swirls her sword , spitting the blood of assailants Mess with her , she'll teach you the lessons The patriarch kingdom pushed on her!
Breaking free from your cruel fantasy I'll create the world of my ecstasy You'll see the curse of a girl Bestow upon you instead of a blessing!
I , the queen forbid your survival in my regime of new world! If you refuse to accept the feminism , bound to come alive! Let's live in harmony and peace but if you deny my present You shall be put to your grave! Underneath my throne of grace!!
Quite a big ass essay eh!! Sorry! But today something sparkled in me to write this! I would hearty welcome your thoughts and feedbacks. I hope the idea portrayed in my writing is carried to you in diligence. Hope you like it . Stay blessed ❤ and always rock the world my girls/boys♥❤❤ Songs I suggest you hear ❣ - Power- Little Mix (lyrical) Problem - Ariana Grande(lyrical) Salute - Little Mix(lyrical) Kill this Love - Black Pink Adios- Everglow Bad Boy -Red velvet Uh-oh - (G)I-DLE
Besides the words, mind is the only other place..where the different realms existing between reality and illusion meet.....and how could anything that meet at some point ,be an illusion, when it holds a fragment of reality in it