tortoise

my priye gifted me this!

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  • tortoise 2d

    Because somedays i feel, love is not enough.

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    Love is the simplest thing to do,
    to bring happiness into your life.
    What a person forgets is,
    to close the door once
    it has entered. And while
    one dances in the happiness
    of love's entry, gloominess secretly
    hops inside your life too.
    And once, love is done
    with all the happy stuff,
    it's the gloominess that hugs you.

    So next time, you open up the door for love, make sure you shut it right away, or even better, to never open the door in the first place!

    ©tortoise

  • tortoise 3d

    ( First caption, then post. Kya karein, miraquill long posts support hi nahi krta! Aur hume toh kahaniyan likhne ka shauk hai :P )
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    "क्या सोच रही हो?"
    ".. हां?"
    "क्या सोच रही हो, मैडम?"
    "उम्म.. यूंही। कुछ ख़ास नहीं!"
    "तुम मेरे लिए कितनी ख़ास हो, ये जानती हो ना?"
    "शायद!"
    "क्या मतलब? हां?"
    "अच्छा बाबा! जानती हूं। बोलो क्या हुआ?"
    "जब तुम इतनी ख़ास हो, तब तुम्हारी सोच भी तो ख़ास हुई। इसीलिए बताओ, क्या सोच रही हो?"
    "तुमसे तो कुछ भी छुपाना असंभव है!"
    "हां, तो अब बताओ भी!"
    "यार, मैं जो चीज़ जैसे चाहती हूं, मुझे वो चीज़ कभी वैसे नहीं मिलती। मैं जो प्लान बनाती हूं, वो कुछ और ही हो जाता है। ज़िंदगी कभी तो मेरे हिसाब से भी चले। थक गई हूं ज़िंदगी के इशारों पर नाचते नाचते!"
    "बाप रे! इतनी बड़ी बात सोच रही थीं तुम! एक नन्हीं सी बच्ची इतनी बड़ी कब हुई?"
    "तुम तो रहने ही दो! हर समय मज़ाक। हूह! मुझे नहीं करनी तुमसे बात। इसीलिए नहीं बता रही थी। और मिस्टर, मैं कोई बच्ची नहीं हूं। आए बड़े!"
    "ये ज़िंदगी है मेरी जान! कोई बॉलीवुड मूवी नहीं, जहां कहानी कोई इंसान लिखता हो। या जिसका अंत पहले से सुनिश्चित हो।"
    "उम्म्म... सोचो तो मेरी ज़िंदगी भी बॉलीवुड की मूवी ही तो है! हर समय कुछ ना कुछ कांड होता ही रहता है। कितनी दफा जीती हूं, ना जाने कितनी बारी हारी हूं। हंसी हूं, रोई भी हूं। गिर के संभली भी हूं। धोखे मिले हैं, नफ़रत भी। फिर दोस्त मिले, और मोहब्बत भी। एक दम मसालेदार चटपटी मूवी है।"

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    "और जानती हो, इस मूवी की सबसे ज़रूरी बात? इसको लिखने वाला कोई मामूली इंसान नहीं है।"
    "हां, पर इसीलिए तो गुस्सा भी आता है ना! पता नहीं, वो समझते क्यों नहीं हैं, कि मुझे क्या चाहिए।"
    "वो तुम्हें तुम से बेहतर जानते हैं। इसीलिए तुम्हारी बात नहीं मानते। मुझे ही देखलो, तुम्हारी बात मान कर नौकरी छोड़ दी, और अब पढ़ाई करना पड़ रहा है, वर्ना मज़े में चल रही थी ज़िंदगी।"
    "हाय राम! कितना कुत्ता आदमी है ये! एक तो मैंने पुश किया कि अपने पैशन को फॉलो करो, उल्टा चोर कोतवाल को डांटे। जा रही हूं मैं। हुह!"
    "अच्छा सुनो, वैसे इस मसालेदार मूवी में रोमांस कब एड करने की सोच रही हो?"
    "बेशर्म! चुप रहो। जाओ अब। मुझे काम करना है।"
    "ज़िंदगी है यार! इतना मत सोचा करो, तुम पर सूट नहीं करता। जो होता है, अच्छे के लिए ही होता है। तुम और मैं साथ हैं, बस वही सबसे ज़रूरी है। तुम ही तो कहती हो, प्यार है तो ज़िंदगी, वर्ना सब बेकार!"
    "ऑव्व! मेला प्याला बनी! थैंक यू! मेरी संगती का अच्छा असर पड़ा तुम पर।"
    "बिल्कुल, मेरी ड्रामा क्वीन! चलो जाओ अब। वर्ना लेट होगी, तो भी मुझ से ही लड़ोगी।"
    "ही ही, टाटा! बाय बाय।"

    ©tortoise

  • tortoise 1w

    You've to keep breaking your heart, till it opens! ~ Rumi.

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    When a pencil is broken, you don't cry.
    Instead you sharpen the broken end too, to use it better.
    When an eraser is broken, you don't cry.
    Instead you keep one part with yourself, safely, and offer the other part to someone else in need.
    And, when the old soap gets broken, you cherish its both parts, holding one in each of your hand, to do the cleansing of your body quicker.

    So, what makes you cry, when your heart gets broken?
    Keep one piece safe for your own self while, the other parts for the world, to love even more, carefree and guilt-free!
    Why do heart broken people fear love?

    ©tortoise

  • tortoise 2w

    We all can be ourselves, even when it doesn't feel acceptable. For when we accept our realities, we can serve the world better.

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    Who are you?
    You know it. Just like i do.
    And we both can exist,
    in this huge universe,
    doing what we both are meant to do.
    Since you ain't me, and I ain't you,
    we shouldn't expect our lives to be similar.
    If both of us had same roles,
    one of us wouldn't be placed.

    Imagine, living to this,
    when you just live your life,
    and do your work.
    Without looking at what other's doing
    and how they're living.
    Even if you look,
    you don't compare them with your life.
    Even if you compare,
    you don't wish to become them.
    Even if you do wish,
    you don't fight against yourself,
    that you can't be them.
    Even if you fight,
    you don't feel guilty about it.
    Even if you feel guilty,
    you don't forget to acknowledge
    your own self.

    And, once you acknowledge,
    you choose to love yourself,
    for what you're,
    and what you can't be,
    ever.

    ©tortoise

  • tortoise 2w

    I don't know where to begin from, but they ask me, how am i? And more frequently, why have i changed? That are questions to them, and may be to you, as well. For me, they're loop holes, i try to avoid.

    So for once and all, i backfired them (since they're the real ones who know me well) to ask, what changes you're talking about?
    You're lost. This is not you. Where is the original you? The old you? You've lost yourself!

    Lost myself? What does that even mean?
    You were never this. Where have you lost your laughter to? Your humour to? Where has your charm gone? Where you lost your liveliness? The fun in you, the violent anger, the jealousy! Where have you lost your tears too? The magic in your eyes? That childish spirit? Sometimes it feels like we don't even know you!

    And, i sit back, in astonishment. To wonder. To introspect. As i turned back the pages of past, a different me gained my attention. So i realised, may be they're true.

    Traveling through the same hollow lanes, daily, i lost my curiosity.
    Chatters that used to define me, got lost somewhere amidst the noises of honking vehicles.
    I lost my innocent laughter to the howls of grieving attendants.
    I've lost my freedom to tight schedules, that have tied up my hair into a regular pony tail.
    You miss the glow in my eyes? I've lost it to multiple sleepless nights i work, to help others sleep with peace.
    Tears of my eyes have been lost into the blood of those I've pricked my needle to.
    I've lost my emotions to uncanny deaths.
    You yearn to listen my voice? It's lost somewhere between the prescription slips, my pen empties itself to.
    And liveliness? That's lost to the despair I've felt, when unable to help someone.

    May be you're right. I've changed. And I've lost the original me.
    I've lost myself, to life. To experiences.
    But may be, there's still a little me, inside my heart, from where love oozes out, to keep me alive, even after all that is lost.

    ~©tortoise
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    (Tried making a normal ECG pattern :P )

    { And I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's kinda true, and i want to keep it, as a reminder. (Everyone's) Life's pretty hard, and all i pray is, it to be worthy of all the hardwork. }

    Pic credit - Pinterest.

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  • tortoise 3w

    Keeping it for few friends!

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    *Peek a boo*

    Why don't you write anymore?
    I have been trying too hard, like out of my way, to write, but it's not happening.

    You've a lot within your heart, don't you?
    Yes, and i really want to vent out a little, to make space for new experiences.

    So, what's stopping you?
    Words. Ironically, words are stopping me. I don't have enough vocabulary to vent out the chaos I'm holding within me.

    Go easy, then.
    You know, i actually don't know what to write upon. Everytime i try something new, i land up to good old love write ups. I hate writing around love. As if, there's nothing beyond it. The other times, it's basic philosophy, and if i ever get too frustrated, it's career oriented. You know what? I feel, i don't feel enough.

    There are prompts out there, to help you out. Why don't you try them out?
    Oh no. I've been looking to these prompts, but none suits me. To write on a picture, or to continue a story, or just to use some words, for a write up, it's not happening. People are creative with these prompts, hence they participate. I lack creativity these days, just like time.

    But you're full of excuses, No?
    You can say so. I won't mind. Rhymes don't attract me anymore, and concrete is too much of hardwork. Sonnets eat meanings in calculated syllables. I don't want my words to be caught into mathematics. But long write ups are time consuming, and i am not even sure if they're good enough.

    What are you reading these days?
    What? Umm, like? Beyond curriculum? I guess, nothing. Random write ups, I'm tagged to. That's it. Where's the time?

    Read. Read. Read. Till you read enough, you won't be able to write.
    That's even harder, to read. I can write, once a while, but to read, without tags, is next to impossible. I know, there are lot many write ups, that are due for reading. And lot many writers, I haven't checked in a while. Most of them, are my favourites too. But i know they write good, so what's the point of reading them. They're already the best. And while i read them, i belittle myself into believing, I'm useless. You know what, let it be. I will read or write according to my vibes and times.

    Time will never be good enough. Keep postponing and one day, you'll realise you lost it.
    I know. I think, I've already lost it.

    ©tortoise

  • tortoise 3w

    Tired of explaining himself!

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    How tired a person would be?
    who chooses to agree,
    instead of revolting;
    even when he knows
    what's right, and
    what's not!

    ©tortoise

  • tortoise 4w

    I don't know why i kept this in drafts for long.

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    Asking someone to get out

    Loving you was everything, but easy. It was simple though. How can someone not love their own reflection? It might take some time, but it will happen. And so it did.

    Letting you go was everything, but simple. It was easy though. How can someone stay with a mirror, who only knows reflecting everything that's shown to it? "Mirrors do lie, they don't show what's inside". And so it happened.

    To let go of you, doesn't mean to let go of love i carry for you, in my own heart. To move on, from you, doesn't mean to move on from all the memories we shared at one point of time. It simply meant accepting things as they are, instead of trying to change them.

    Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world, and i can debate endlessly, with you, proving the same. It makes the mundane existence of oneself into a celebration. And when you know you're loved, for who you're, rather than who you're becoming or unbecoming, goals don't look like ghosts, but a process.

    So when i say, "i love you", i want you to believe it. And when i say, "get out of my life", i mean it too. For, i can love you, without keeping you in my life!

    ©tortoise

  • tortoise 5w

    Venting out.

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    People call you good friend, and leave you when you need them. Sometimes nobody understand what you're going through. And few times, you yourself don't have any clue to what's happening in your own life. Love. Happiness. Career. All big words, with so many quotes and wise sayings, yet nothing saves you when you feel like drowning in the chaos. Help! Help! Help! You keep shouting in your head, but no voice comes out of your mouth. It feels like a nightmare, except that you can't wake up from it. All you wish for is pinch of light, and all you hope for is surviving the day.

    ©tortoise

  • tortoise 5w

    Picture credit - Vimal sketches

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    At the end of the day,
    people love you
    for what you do;
    rather than what you are, or
    what you could be.

    ©tortoise