I don't know exactly where to start from or perhaps I'm not that okay to gabble anything.But I need to blather my feelings and thoughts to normalize my mind.I still can't believe that you are gone and will never come.I can't believe you will no more give any realistic messages via your movies. I'll not blame you for doing this. That is our biggest problem.We just see people from outer aspect,we even never try to know from which trauma they are going through.You were must be facing a gloomy and depressing state. I have seen you from "Pavitra Rishta" to "Chhichhore". A thing which i found similar in your every act is your talent and your heart.From "Patna" to "Mumbai", and from "engineer" to "actor",you had gone through a very struggling phase.That inspires a lot of people to begin their journey who aspires to be an actor.If I talk about me,the thing which ping on my head is your hard work,patience and dedication.When a child is born in a middle class family, the thought of becoming an engineer and doctor is put in his/her head.But you broke this perception and proved yourself.
When i saw you as Dhoni,i idealised him as you.Beyond this,Chhichhore shaked me to my core.After watching it started thinking and working on my "after failure plans". Chhichhore was that which i urgently needed.And that movie made my life more piquant and ecstatic. It made me capable to accept my failure positively.You made us to believe that failure is not ultimate end but it is the things which motivates to do myriad endeavours.
Your death is horrendous and bitter truth. It's feeling like a personal loss.
Mental health is everything. At least, talk to someone and express yourself in front of any close people about what you're feeling and going through.No matter what you're facing,you must talk to any close clans.Brooding and solitude never makes you a happy person.I know,i might be sounding over positive but everyone goes through ups and downs but ending your life is a very big decision.Think more and more before taking any step.
The first time I saw her It was mid of October. Gentle breeze played with her hairs as i gave her shy stares. To my eyes she was a treat. I must say my heart skipped a beat. Then came December And as I remember There was snowfall. People gathered around a huge bonfire. There I saw her again She was wearing a beautiful winter attire. Looking adorable like a doll. My heartbeats were again out of control. I didn't say a word cos it seemed weird. It was summer of June. I was admiring the ocean in full moon. And to my sheer surprise I saw her sitting on a rock looking at the skies. Destiny has something for me now it was clear. So i gathered my guts to try my luck at love frontier. I went to her and sat beside. My heart went crazy like those tides. She looked at me with curious eyes. With a smile on her face she said, It's our third time, i can bet. To me it was a surprise. She also noticed me likewise . It's now November And now we are together. Loving Fighting Eating Dieting Zealous Jealous Romancing Dancing Cuddling Muddling Silent Blabberhead Now we are inseparable Planning to wed
*I had to write something to break the jinx Hence did the needful. Kindly smile even if u find it idiotic
Im excited, nervous and happy all at the same time. It is like a mixed feelings and I can't predict but you know Im just going with a flow. I wanted to share few thoughts on this day.
1. Age is just a number as true as they say, I can't believe Im 20. Legit! I feel I do hold a heart of kid, super sensitive. I still watch Shinchan and Mr. Bean. Cry a lot. Doodle weird stuffs. I always demand Ice cream from my dad. (That too the specific magnum chocolate bar) My eyes still lit up with icecreams, balloons and chocolates.
2. Im officially 20 today and I still don't know how to drive a car. (My parents are super concerned with my impulsive behaviour they would prefer dropping me in car or appoint a driver than letting me take the car) I can't cook well and I hold a biggest stage fear. (But you know what Im lil bit working on all the spheres)
3. I feel and Ive mentioned several times in this app that I was and still am a migraine patient and had severe deppresion during my early teen years. I guess I should not been so rigid on myself.
That feeling of embracing has came very late to me when I was 19, I wìsh I was fearless and cared less about opinions. (Folks listen to your heart but when it comes to carrier then do listen to your parents and experienced people)
4. Friends.! This word itself sound so secure and comfortable. No matter how old you get Real friends will stay in touch with you and others will fade away with time. Family is important no matter what! Surround yourself with them, love them, make memories with them because you don't know what life is going to bring things towards you or maybe it would be your last day on this planet.
5. At the end I would say, Live a little. Don't overthink of future, for now be happy. Do what you like, make your day a bit productive.
I want to heartly thank this app and people whom I call angels because you guys supported and were there for me when I needed the most. Never in my life I thought I'll recieve love from Virtual world.
I've successfully aced my teen years and sad that my mistakes won't be counted and forgiven easily emtionally as well as legally because that is only valid when you're a teen. Lol.
Im feeling blessed, I aim to be a much better person than ever. I really want to say yes to every opportunities which will lift me up. Im excited to learn more, evolve more in this journey. Buckled up to meet people more. Im turning more of my attention to Almighty because that's my meditation zone and spiritual peace. I look forward for being more positive as well as critically observing all the communications, social areas and negative things. I've set goals to wake up early, eat healthy, be in touch with constant exercise, do savings more keenly and above all embrace myself and love my parents a bit more.
Thanks for being with me in this journey. Sending my hugs and kisses, xoxo
~This is a love story that died long ago but is still breathing on hope.~
Hi. Let me tell you, it's a love story which began two years back. I met you through someone, I came and I had fallen for you in just a few months. I had fallen for you because you brought out the best of me, you made me a better person, you encouraged me to do better, you supported me everytime. When I had no one you were there for me, offering me your love and shoulder. I spilled out the shit, the toxic and depressed shit from my head and heart to you, and you heard it patiently, you handled me at the time when I needed you the most. You never judged me neither you found any reason to get away from me. Slowly, slowly you became my friend and then like all other stories, I fell in love with you, a little too much, a little harder. You were my true bliss, my place of peace, my secret holder, my shit keeper, my friend and my favourite place to go. I spent almost my whole day with you. You gave me a chance to know some really good people, you gifted me some friends who always support me. (This is to you guys). You became so dear to me, honestly. I loved you, in real.
"And then gradually you changed." Why this has to happen in every story, why can't it go smooth and rosey. My love story turned into a heartbreak. I fell for you and you broke my heart, you broke my heart into pieces. I know, things don't always stay the same, but this wasn't the plan, this wasn't expected, this wasn't the way I wanted to let go of all the love and everything I got. I don't know what is the reason but whatever it is, it is not all making me feel good. I feel unappreciated and demotivated. I feel it's all fake, you are biased, you are doing it on purpose. I feel you don't want me to write anymore. I feel you don't love me anymore. I feel you are tired of my shit. I feel useless.
I come here and I don't feel the same as I felt before. Earlier I used to spent my whole day here but now I had to gather my strength to step in here. Because, I don't have the strength to bear the changed you, I have to come because neither I can leave you. Yes, I can't leave you, I can't leave you because I don't leave anyone so easily, I give them chances, endless chances because I just can't let it all go in vain, I fear letting the story turn into ashes, I fear telling 'It was for nothing' and I fear because I love you now too.
I can't leave you because I cannot waste all that in a click, I cannot make it nothing, I cannot turn it into ashes.They say, "Love needs Patience". So, I'll try to stay patiently in a hope that you'll be the same, once again. I'll stay as long as possible.
I am in pieces again, will you mend me again? Will you save me, but this time from you only.
WORD - Lypophrenia ~ a vague feeling of sadness without any cause.
"IT'S OKAY TO BE SAD, BUT IT IS NOT AT ALL OKAY TO STAY THERE."
Sometimes you feel sad for no particular reason. You don't know the reason of so much negativity, you don't know why you are tensed, you don't know why you are irritated and frustrated all time, you don't know what's bothering you, you don't know what's letting you down. So, let me tell you, it's okay! sometimes you don't need to know everything. You don't need to know the reason rather you need to find a way to get out of there, you need to know that, that is not your place, you need to know that you are not supposed to make your home there, you need to know that you cannot let it cause harm to you, you need to feel it but you do not need to let it consume you, you just need to make a way and come out of it barefoot step by step.
Sometimes you feel sad for no reason, because there are a lot of reasons already dwelling in your head. -sakshi