Writing has always been my passion and my therapy.
I am far from the best, but I am getting better.
#crying #emotional #tears #pain
I wish I could cry bloodPerhaps then, the tears could speak my pain.Falling ever slower down flushed cheeks of rageNever again to be hidden by the rain.©Eryn Ricketts
I tend to reflect on my mental state a lot..writing is my therapy when I cannot afford to go to actual therapy. #mentalhealth #CPTSD #PTSD #awareness #depression #anxiety
These battles have left me bruised and broken in a war he started.Left me with nothing but Trauma from the moment he departed.I have fought so long and so hard to find my way back from this.But sometimes, I find myself sinking further into the abyss.I thought I found a way to drop some weight... to help me swim.But the light of the surface only seems to dim.Lying to myself has become the only way to breathe,even though the lies do nothing but make my emotions seethe.They boil over sometimes, I've tried to stop it..spilling over until I drown where I sit.Nightmares all blur together at this point, no sense in remembering the details these days.The fabric of reality always splits open, leaving me clinging to the ends as they fray.They say to live in the moment, take it one step at a time.But living in a moment where you feel nothing but fear, is an unforgivable crime. Shame is a hell of a word, and I hate the way it tastes.I am not ashamed of the war I've waged within myself for all these years, it hasnt all been a waste.Ive seen my friends and family laugh until they criedBeen there to pick them up when their loved ones have died.I have sung to the moon and stars when the nights seemed too silent.I have cherished the sun and clouds before the weather turned violent.I have shook the hand of the devil and wished him the best.I have cursed God for every soul he has taken to their final rest.The good times are always great until they come to an end.If this war has taught me anything, it is how to bend.Bend, but never break.That is what I whisper to myself with every breath I take. You don't have to understand anything I say,I am not asking you to remember every line.Just keep in mind the war that is raging within meevery time I say, "I am doing just fine."©Eryn Ricketts
Just one of those days. #PTSD #Awareness #MentalIllness #poetry #emotions #emotional
~Fight, Flight or Freeze~
My "Crisis Mode" is an assured destruction.A cataclysmic event taking away rational function.A riptide pulling me away from shoreDragging me deeper until I drown in my core.©Eryn Ricketts
I have no memory of writing this in 2015, but apparently I did lol #mentalillness #PTSD #awareness #depression #anxiety
Mental Illness (2015)
It's like your own personal monsters under the bed that mom and dad cant see... It's like a nagging whisper or scream that just wont let you be.... Its the icy water that hits you like a thousand needles... Its the numb that spreads like a million marching beetles.... The emptiness that fills the mind with ache... It comes in waves like water kissing the shore of a stormy lake... Never endingNever bending.Always BreakingNever fading. They say the light is always at the end, you just gotta keep walking... But you'll never see the sun until you start talking.©Eryn Ricketts
#mentalillness #poetry #depression #anxiety #PTSD #awareness
Just Out Of Reach
"I am attracted by the lightBut grew to fear it.Always willing to stand and fight.But frozen where I sit. The shadows promise safetyThis darkness is my home.These corners dont leave me shakey.Just balanced on the waves like sea foam. The noise is vibrantIt's intriguing to me.Leading me like a tyrantPromising I'll be free. The silence promises foreverWithin these walls it lingers.Leaving me broken like a feverReaching for happiness with these fragile fingers. Just out of my reachBut too scared to move.They say "practice what you preach"But these edges aren't smooth. They are jagged and sharpThe promise of blood on my palms if I try to climb....This hole is too deepIM RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!! The struggle is suffocatingNo air left to breathe.This mental static is breathtakingNo space for relief."©Eryn Ricketts