Doomed, the living life or the sudden death? Who knows! The script of the future I witnessed was dreaming up the sonnets only Lord Shakespeare, can decipher with the art of writings when ironies seem to be the fact.
Same as life, I live like and wanted to love but fail at some junctions where my train roll-out of the tracks and start plunging to the side, witnessed in the nightmares during the nights when the connection between me and sleep merely left out as a result of which now I sleep but truly not into sleep rather filling out the spaces with the letters and words with which I built up a home of hopes and expectations with zero in return.
And everyone else too does the same in their damn way. However, they feel. Then why not let them feel it and not interfering or peeping out to indulge in the situation neither you nor I am even aware of. Yes, it implies on me too.
Cause in the yearning for one precious we lost a little bit of everything we had. It doesn't mean you are wrong rather rectify the damage that made you do wrong.
Sometimes when sunsets have taken off still its light persists in that space in a little proportion.
p.s- this might be a bizarre read for some or many but I have conducted it in all my senses, I swear or maybe not.
I had a beautiful flower in my tummy, I thought I would be getting a fruit very yummy. He was about to be my identity but, I got cursed by the term 'fertility'. That was a totally strange feeling like, inside me, someone was fighting. I thought he would become a lawyer but, he turned out to be a warrior. My ears are still craving to hear 'mom', I thought I would call him by the name 'My Talking Tom'. I was unknown that one day his body will remain but I would never get him alive, and by the time, I would meet him, he would've gone on a long drive. That time something got dropped and Broked in my stomach, but I didn't hear. He needed help but, that particular time I didn't feel. When I realised, as if my body remained stable and my soul also cried but, I swear with a lot of efforts I tried. Until a while ago, he was alive like a bud of a flower but, not able to fight because had not enough power. He was cute but I didn't know that, was also ready to mute. I am still shocked that either I could not be a good mother or he was not a capable son. Might I didn't get this boon to be a mother and don't wanna try for this any further, because I can't suffer by this grief and pain, it's like a havoc has stuck my heart. I can't bear the pain of losing another child of my own and can't take one more curse given by him. This happened because it's all my own sin. Sorry, my baby I didn't let you win.