words in all forms
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small things & suicide
you know sometimes in life its the little things like talking to a cute girl and giving her one ofyour favorite pairs of socks,sometimes it's sneaking her oneof her favorite peanut butter andjelly sandwiches and even thoughshe doesn't eat it she says it'ssweet anyways,sometimes it's saying good night five times just to keep on small talking, and sometimes it's sittingdown to write about it all just to jump back outta bed to hurry andhear one of her favorite songsplaying through those radio head-phones, sometimes her name is Danielle. - zed z.
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lobbing the bird farenough away that Idon't have to see or thinkabout these things anymoream I suppose to drop all cause?am I suppose to just maybe upand disappear?situations seem to say soeven when I'd rather notthere's oughta be a reason thatI'm trying so,even when you turn and lookthe other way.- zed z.
to grace # 2
good morningidk if u will one day appreciate these emails or if u delete them as they come in or whatever u knowbut frick I forgot what I was gonna sayoh wellI'm gonna drink a little today it's already hard n I hardly left shelter 2 hours agoit's alright tho. I fully believe the universe put me into this position because I wasn't doing good/anything at my mom's. I need to be put into the rut to get back outta it so to speakit still sucks tho life is hardit's a good church tonight tho where I'll sleep. the best one I think.I just had to break up a fight between two gay lovers at a bus stop lolit was intense one threw soda all over the other and shit lolthen some dude with a microphone blaring on street corner about jesusstreet life never ceases to amaze me- z
it has been quite awhilesince I could say that Ihave had a "good day"patriotism has always flownright over my head, as Inow wear in right on top ofmy headdrifting from cross roads tocross streets, pretty muchaimless in all my directionlet me tell you; there ain'tthat much to really dowhen your personal standardsaren't set all too high.- zed z.
short of breath at six in the morningand I haven't slept a lick since I didsometime yesterday, or somethinglike thatin company of annoyed people,we like to think up a half-ass substance to justify why we kindadon't like each other, I only came hereto relapse, tearing my veins up from upunder and out of my bloody skinself destructive in most aspects, if I'm not hurting than its hard to realizethat I'm even livingto find some sort of reason in this painI dug a hole, put up a door, and calledit homeI feel like myself whilst in the rut of stuffan identity manifested via welts, bumps,and bruisesdripping a trail behind me of reds andblues.- zed z.
alone inside, a fast foodrestaurant lobbytalking to myself as the companyI'm with watchesso haphazardous,in my morals with a real lackof compassionslightly genius, or am I losingtouch with all reality?there's sense in what's sense-less, or is there?sometimes, only god can tell.- zed z.
the ceiling always making surethat whenever I happen to losemy head, that I don't float awayand escape for goodnot too fond of anything aboutthe present, I woke up to a badday already, and by 6amI'm pacing in circles outsideforever hot and from the beginningthere's no avoiding these terms oflife that I at some point must haveagreed to. did I sign my soul awaywith blood? or is dealing with life'ssuffering merely a persistentsuggestion? would I have the backbone to say no? or would I keepdoing what I have been all alongsimply letting all of the bullshitkeep on happening?- zed z.
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to grace 1
hellotimes r roughlife is hardin doing my bestidk how mucho mas u knowit sucksbut I knowthat I luffyouI hope u r well& then some.- zed z
when summer ends
you can share this shadewith me, that isif you plan to stand andstay here, even if justfor a little whilethe ties to anybody I usedto know have been severedmaybe for good reason?I seemed to have notgotten that far, at leastnot yet, you knowcalling it quits by earlyafternoonI'm unwilling to play summer'sgames all damn dayanother day, another uselessdollar spentthough truth be toldif it was all up to meI'd turn the lights off by 9pmevery night.- zed z.
Space & Such
in the process of distancing myselfas far as I can get from the edgesof the earth as it turnsI've lost any semblance of self withinthe waters reflection more times thanI can countliving my life as if i don't care all toomuch anymore, and it's becauseI kind of don'tkicking up dust as I fall flat on myback from standing uplosing sense of what-is upon impactall alone in these two shoes.- zed z.