On this day of world mental health. Being the one who has gone through depression, I just wanted to say a few things about mental health and depression. I just want to make you feel that things will be ok if you are going through it.
Depression is something that not everyone understands, unless they have gone through it, and have felt like its something that they are wearing like skin. Every day it begins to feel like everything you touch will die. It sometimes feels like you are in constant darkness and everything seems meaningless.
People can get into this pit in many ways I feel, might be they were trying to save someone from the hell, and they found the purpose in it, and they sat there forever to save more people.
They say depression is like an abusive relationship that you have with yourself. It feels like you have made a friend who always stands behind you and whispers constantly the things like "You are not good enough", "You will never be happy", "You are a joke", "You will never be worthy of something or someone" and many other mean things you wouldn't say to anyone else. The thing about all this is, when you hear this for a very long time, you will begin to believe it somewhere.
But I want to say something. If you are going through it, hold yourself together. I know how it feels to fight with that person who is always with you, and who knows you so well.
It feels like you fight with him every day, to pull him out of that driver seat and take the wheel for yourself, while he constantly sits behind you staring you in the mirror. And the moment you feel whatever he said was right, he will take back that control again.
This whole fight with yourself will drain a lot of energy from you. But believe me, things will be alright. Just don't give up. The day that you are praying and wishing for isn't very far. When you arrive on that day, you will turn back and thank yourself for keeping the fight on and never giving up.
Whenever he/she says those mean things to you again. Tell them not today, tell them you are stronger than you believe. You are better than you think you are. You deserve the whole world if you want to. And you are worthy of everything you wish for.
Just keep that fight on. And remember, you are the best.
Is it when that sinking feeling , Collapses you inwards . It feels as if you are being , Pushed back into darkness , By an invisible force . A force that knocks , The breath out of you . And you feel you are doomed . But you don't shed a tear . You hold that exterior together . Painting a smile , for this world each day , Even though you Are burning inside .
Or .... Is it when , Those tears just won't Stop flowing . Everything around you , Seems fragile and tender . A mere glance or touch , Sends you bursting into tears . You don't shy away , From shedding those , Tears amongst strangers , Who look at you quizzically . You feel lighter ... But only for a while . And still your insides , Keep burning in agony .
You see ... Grief can , Never be quantified . It's different in many ways , Because of our circumstances . Yet it's the same , For each one of us . It burns our insides , Whether we show , Or try to hide .
The only option , Is to be like that last , Leaf of autumn . That learns to let go , Knowing it's time . To embark on , A journey new . After all .... Every end , has a new beginning .
We are all warriors , In our own way . The ones who know , No matter what ... The show must go on .