shivangisingh04

Healing and growing everyday!��

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  • shivangisingh04 8w

    Hey guyssss!!!! I know it's not one of my bests but I tried after a long time and I hope you all will like it! ❤��


    @writersnetwork @mirakee #ceesreposts



    There's a saying that "Change is the only constant in life"
    From the day you've come into this world until the day you die
    You have to face a hell lot of changes
    But it hurts when you see someone very close, change in front of your eyes slowly and daily
    No matter how much you make yourself understand that it's because of the age , people leave ,it was expected or it was meant to happen still it would hurt like hell
    You try your best to make that person understand, you hope for a miracle but nothing would work
    The picture of forever will be broken in a second and leave you with nothing but melancholy and memories
    Passing by from that place where you've first met would make you sad
    You will get reminded of their little little habits, the way they used to talk or make you smile , how they used to have their effect on you or their one text made you smile it will make you cry but it won't make your pain any lesser
    It would be quiet difficult to accept
    The person with whom you have spent your half life and was hoping to spend more has crushed all your hopes and left
    But you know remembering it won't give you any satisfaction because neither they cared about you nor they respected your emotions . if they had they would have never left on the first place . Trust me No matter ,wherever they are they would be happy and satisfied. They are the perfect example of the saying "people change and so do their priorities"
    you have to take It as a lesson and eventually have to move on ,you have to shine at your best and show them what they have missed. I am sure they will regret it
    There are still many beautiful people who have a heart of gold as you, are waiting for you who will have your back no matter what. And I promise After few years you will feel sad for a moment but it won't hurt as it did earlier. Life is a beautiful journey and don't spoil it for those who are not worth it!

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    Change: A constant

    ©shivangisingh04

  • shivangisingh04 10w

    Hey guys!
    Comment down

    I will try to answer, maybe?

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    A genuine question :

    How are you all? what are the questions you have been asking yourself for so long?

  • shivangisingh04 15w

    Hey guys! Just a lame one after a long time hope you all will like it ❤��


    @writersnetwork @miraquill #ceesreposts


    Sitting on my favorite place I often think about you, about us
    How can anything be so complicated
    Yet so beautiful?
    I often hear the idea of being out of love
    but this fact always amaze me that
    Even after being so many years in love
    I don't know why I could never be tired of it
    Your words still do everything to me
    as they did earlier
    After a long and hectic day the cute little scenarios of us I make in my head makes me feel contented
    The smallest talk with you can
    Change my mood in a second
    I could go from happy to upset and
    from sad to the happiest
    in a moment of time
    Missing you is like the long scary night
    where I crave your touch ,
    I always wish it to end as soon as possible.
    Being with you and hugging you feels as felicitious as cool breeze after a dusky humid weather
    The serenity I feel after
    finding my way back to you is inexplicable
    You are like my favorite song
    which I never get bored of
    and which could enlighten up
    my foul mood by brining a smile on my face ,
    I adore you as much as
    I adore star gazing on a beautiful night
    Babe,
    You are the moon of my dull night
    And whether I romanticize
    or compare the most beautiful things
    of the world with you
    It still won't be able to prove the love I have for you and how much I am fond of you !

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    Babe,
    You are the moon
    of my dull night
    and whether
    I romanticize
    or compare the
    most beautiful things
    of the world with you
    It still won't be able
    to prove
    the love I have for you!




    ©shivangisingh04

  • shivangisingh04 17w

    The emptiness and dullness I felt without you in chaos is Ineffable

    But only if you didn't had inner conflict being powerful than external one, you would hear me whispering.

  • shivangisingh04 17w

    Hey guys! I listened to it few years back but I still am obsessed with it , hope you guys will like it! ❤��

    Tell me if you want part two?

    @writersnetwork @miraquill #ceesreposts

    Song: Thousand years
    Movie: twilight
    Singer: christina perri

    @writersnetwork thanks for the like, means alot ❤

    //Heart beats fast
    Colors and promises
    How to be brave?
    How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
    But watching you stand alone
    All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

    One step closer//

    everyone say things like forever is a myth, we don't believe in happy endings etc .But deep down we wait for it ,even I do and this song is all about it. It's about the beautiful life changing day for which you have waited for years .Its about the moment when your heart race fastest, thinking about the promises and the life ahead makes you feel happiest but nervous at the same time, questions like Am I brave enough ? Or Is it the right time? Comes on your mind. But your heart conquers over mind when you walk down the aisle, all of your doubts go in vain when you see that person standing alone ,looking heavenly as if their whole life they have been waiting for no one but you . No matter how scared you have been to love, you know that person will never let you fall. It's about the time when you walk slowly towards your happily ever after . Its about the moment when thinking about this beautiful change you get shiver down your spine.

    //I have died every day waiting for you
    Darling, don't be afraid
    I have loved you for a thousand years
    I'll love you for a thousand more//

    It's about the time when you get flashbacks of your past, how you met them for the first time and you didn't have any idea that you both would come this far, you both would grow together. You wonder about the time when you both were so unsure or lost but you both became each other's strength, about the moment when you hugged or kissed for the first time and how it had been the most ecstatic moment of your life .It feels you have loved and waited for them for ages, suddenly when their gaze falls on you, you melt out of shyness just like you did the very first time, suddenly you become so sure and by looking at their nervous face you assure them too that darling, despite all the obstacles, you have loved them for thousand years and will love them more till eternity!

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    Thousand years

    ©shivangisingh04

  • shivangisingh04 18w

    Hey guys! I wrote this confession letter to my father and Since I can't show it to him I showed it to you guys , hope you all will like it! ❤��

    #fathersday @writersnetwork @miraquill #ceesreposts

    @mirakeeworld thank you for the like and repost ❤


    Papa,
    It's my very first Father's day without you everyone have to face this harsh reality in their life but I never knew, In my life It would come so soon . Earlier, I was scared for this day
    I was scared for how would I even face those quotations and stories on father's day? But then I realized even If you're not there or you can't see what I do and it may hurt me alot but you are and will always be my Papa right? And may be If what people say is true then you must be feeling the things I do for you

    I still remember when I was a child we used to travel alot , you had a habit of getting down at every railway station and whenever you come late I used to cry thinking that you missed the train and I won't be able to see you again . Sometimes I wonder how do I manage to spend every single day without you now . It feels like I have a baggage of emotions within my heart which I have to carry forever.

    Everyone says that there's a special bond between father and daughter, And I really feel that now. It was so easier for me to make you understand my feelings or emotions , I have had made tons of mistake but you never judged me. even when I used to be alone I had a surety that no matter what you will always be there for me. Everything has changed since you left Papa nothing is same , my heartbreaks everytime whenever I realize that you're nor more with us ,It feels as if I am waiting for this nightmare to end .no matter how much I try to be normal your absence still haunts me. Whenever I try to be happy Questions like would things be more happier if you are there? arise in my mind

    The memory of last year of me annoying you for buying chocolates on the behalf of father's day is still with all its freshness on my mind . Whenever I miss you or want to share something I still talk to you.
    Your scoldings were the funniest .I never experienced how strict a father could be, you were always sweet to me
    I miss how you used to hide chocolates underneath My pillow.I miss how you used to convince me to eat whenever I fought with mum. I miss the way you used to dance or sing whenever you were happy .I miss your voice. I miss the way you cried whenever you came to drop me off. I didn't show but it made me cry too . I miss sleeping on your shoulder or you giving me medicines whenever I fell sick.

    I wish I would have written this when you were there It would not have proven how grateful I am to you but It would atleast made you happier . I never showed it but in our family, the person whom I felt most connected with was you.There were many things which I wanted to do for you , I wanted to be your strength, support and capable enough to handle your problems. may be you won't be there to see it but I will surely do it for making you happy and proud .

    I love you Papa , I am so lucky to have your features and habits within me they will always remind me of you. No matter how short our roads were you have been the best father to me and you were the most kind human being too, no one thinks about anyone in this world the way you did, you always searched kindness within people but you had to live for yourself too , you forgot that you had your own dreams too. I am proud of being your daughter . A very happy father's day to the best father in the world!

    Yours,
    forever grateful one

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    A letter to my Papa

    ©shivangisingh04

  • shivangisingh04 18w

    Hey guys! I don't know whether it makes sense or not?
    But I hope you all will like it ❤��
    Do tell me your reviews!

    #wod #pod #paralleluniverse #ceesreposts @writersnetwork @mirakee



    May be In a parallel universe
    Before hurrying into a relationship
    We will first try to know each other

    May be In a parallel universe
    Instead of getting attracted by my face
    You will fall in Love with my flaws

    May be In a parallel universe
    I will be as important to you
    As you have always been to me

    May be In a parallel Universe
    You will be sensible enough to prioritize me
    And I won't have to beg for your time

    May be In a parallel Universe
    Instead of fighting and being toxic all the time
    We will sit and try to understand each other

    May be In a parallel Universe
    You will have the surety about what you want
    And you will only have your eye on me

    May be In a parallel Universe
    Instead of dying to meet
    We will take long walks ,travel, kiss and cuddle whenever we want

    May be In a parallel Universe
    We will meet again and spend our forever
    Where ,There will be no You and I
    There will always be Us !

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    May be in a parallel universe

    ©shivangisingh04

  • shivangisingh04 19w

    What's your idea of self love? ❤


    @writersnetwork @mirakee #ceesreposts




    We humans have an ability ,ability of determination. There's nothing in the world we can't do when we are determined for it
    But why is it so hard to love ourselves ?
    Where do the determination goes at that time?

    May be because we don't actually know what self love is or how falling in love with ourselves actually feel like . I have been asking this question to myself from a very long time and I have finally come to the conclusion that everyone has their own way of loving themselves .

    I am the type of person who gets easily demotivated or hurt ,One sentence is enough for making me hate myself . So, self love is when I can love myself even when I feel worthless .

    I sure am the person with million of flaws but loving my flaws is one the of the greatest thing I can ever do .my flaws make me human, they make me feel different from others .Instead of faking perfection and later dying inside I can be imperfect but alive .

    I carry some deeply affected wounds within myself which will take ages to heal .
    In the process of healing I want to love myself so hard that may be the scars will be there forever but they won't be able to haunt me even When I will be all alone .

    Falling and failing are a part of life, I want to love myself at that time when I fall and
    There will be no one to pick me up .I want to rise by myself , It will make me nothing but strong ,after all I know that others can only play a part Its only me who can make it happen. I want to be an inspiration for myself .

    Once a person mocked me for my writings but I knew that no matter what people say I love writing and I love what I write.It has a great impact on my life It helped me heal and it still does so,I want to love myself the way I love my writings .I want to adore myself the way I adore them

    I will get to know that I have fallen for myself when the judgements and mockings won't be able to affect me anymore , when crying tonight won't spoil my mornings, when I will able to love myself everyday ,When I will be my own happiness in disguise!

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    Self love

    ©shivangisingh04

  • shivangisingh04 20w

    Hey guys! I am sorry for posting negativity these days
    Hope you all will like it!����

    @writersnetwork @mirakee #ceesreposts




    I don't know what to do when I feel half dead inside, As if all the complications has hit my life like a dreadful storm and If it won't stop It will destroy my
    my life forever.
    I don't know what to do whenever I feel ashamed of myself , about what I have become and how I am losing myself day by day
    I don't know what to do when I couldn't able to find
    what my mistakes actually were?
    I don't know what to do when even after trying to be good for others or myself people judged me on the basis of what I wear and what I write and what I do
    When my clothes decide my talent and how much success I will get in life.
    Getting judgements by your closed one hurts you alot
    It kills me when my own mother instead of believing me believes on other people
    It kills me when people give me tags like fake, selfish or characterless
    It kills me when the person I need the most leave my messages on seen
    It kills me when I lie to the only people who cares about me
    Yes I am temperamental and sometimes I do or say things which I didn't even think about but that is not always my fault right? Everyone needs to understand me also
    I don't know what to do when questions like Am I that bad? Or Am I unlovable ? Did I really deserve hell ? Starts arising in my mind
    I tried and tried and tried, I gave my all to cope with the circumstances, but I never got appreciated for it ,
    I don't know what to do whenever I realize that no matter how much I try I belong to a broken family where no one understands each other and where nothing goes right
    You know whenever I feel that I have become unlovable I crave so much for love , it feels as if the Toxicity has become a trait within me and I have to live with it
    Its feels as if my mind and heart has become a ticking bomb from bottling up things and will burst anytime. Not only me but Other people will also get affected by the fire of pain negativity and toxicity of it . I have become so desperate for someone to understand me , but I am scared that I will hurt that person too.This guilt is eating me up daily I tried being strong but I just can't anymore.I have learnt one thing that no matter how much you deny or try to act normal If you live in
    Live in toxicity for too long it affects you in every possible way. Every night My heart bleeds and cries in pain . I am tired of waking up with new problems daily. I get murdered by My own expectations everyday.
    I don't like when people always search flaws within me
    I am not weak but I can't be strong either Its like only single word of love and I will Burst In tears
    It's not like I am craving for sympathy or attention its just I have almost forgotten that how it is feel to being loved or cared about I just don't want to lose myself again,I don't want to lose the battle, I don't want to lose the stability which was coming towards me after so long and I don't want to let people feel that they were right and won against me
    I feel like I am at the same place where I was exactly an year ago. These days ,
    I find myself alone
    I am a human and no matter what they do everyone deserves to be loved and here I am dying in pain without doing a single thing.
    I don't know how will I be able to heal but I have faith that one day these things won't matter to me anymore
    But they will haunt me like an awful past forever !

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    Toxcity: a trait

    ©shivangisingh04

  • shivangisingh04 20w

    Hey guys! Another random yet depressing scribbling
    I don't even know why I am writing on heartbreaks so much these days
    But I hope you all will like it!��

    @writersnetwork @mirakee #ceesreposts

    It's been tsome time since we last talked
    The tag of "we are not together anymore" has now stuck on us
    If someone asks me about us I say it easily but what would I do with my heart ?
    It is still not ready to accept
    It still searches for the comfort you used to give .
    I know the fact that everyone in this world has there own individuality
    the next person whom I will fall in love with (May be) will be different
    But why do I try to find you in every guy I talk to ?
    Why do I reject them thinking that he is not you ?
    Why do I feel that a part of me has left with you ?
    Aren't break ups are all about moving on?
    I never wanted to leave you even I would've spent my whole life by living, being happy, loving ,laughing and crying with you
    But I couldn't bear that uncertainty of our relationship, about how long would be together
    I couldn't bear being the single one who discussed about our relationship
    I couldn't bear you treating me according to your mood
    Everytime I tried talking to you about us you felt
    Distant to me
    Sometimes, we have to keep aside our things for the person we love
    Everytime I talked to you I felt insecure about myself ,I felt that I am not good enough for you for and for the thing we had
    I thought that may be because of everything that has happened no matter how much I try or want, I will never be able to understand you and I won't be able to be there in your needs
    You know, It was very difficult to leave you , when I was saying those words I wanted you to stop me but it never happened
    I wanted you to say that we will fix this but it never came out of your mouth
    You know I have been through alot and I wanted to you to ensure me that no matter what you will never leave me
    You will love me as seriously as you can and give your best
    I know these things would seem useless childish and boring to you
    But I was scared as hell because I have fallen for you so immensely and if you would've left me I would 've lost myself too
    Saying those I love yous once in a while was not enough for me
    I am a type of person who needs a time to time reassurance
    I never craved for anything as much as I crave for your love , after whatever I have been through because of you
    Was it so much to ask for?
    I wonder , does it affected you as much as it did to me?
    Even today I check your account countless time I want to text and express about how I feel, no matter how much I deny or ignore deep down I still wait for your text whenever I missed you I wanted to do nothing but hug you so hard to close the distance between us
    Loving you was tough but leaving you was more difficult
    But it would've been harder in future
    So, may be I did the right thing
    May be in a parallel universe we will be together and love each other till eternity!

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    Was is too much to ask for?

    ©shivangisingh04