There's a saying that "Change is the only constant in life" From the day you've come into this world until the day you die You have to face a hell lot of changes But it hurts when you see someone very close, change in front of your eyes slowly and daily No matter how much you make yourself understand that it's because of the age , people leave ,it was expected or it was meant to happen still it would hurt like hell You try your best to make that person understand, you hope for a miracle but nothing would work The picture of forever will be broken in a second and leave you with nothing but melancholy and memories Passing by from that place where you've first met would make you sad You will get reminded of their little little habits, the way they used to talk or make you smile , how they used to have their effect on you or their one text made you smile it will make you cry but it won't make your pain any lesser It would be quiet difficult to accept The person with whom you have spent your half life and was hoping to spend more has crushed all your hopes and left But you know remembering it won't give you any satisfaction because neither they cared about you nor they respected your emotions . if they had they would have never left on the first place . Trust me No matter ,wherever they are they would be happy and satisfied. They are the perfect example of the saying "people change and so do their priorities" you have to take It as a lesson and eventually have to move on ,you have to shine at your best and show them what they have missed. I am sure they will regret it There are still many beautiful people who have a heart of gold as you, are waiting for you who will have your back no matter what. And I promise After few years you will feel sad for a moment but it won't hurt as it did earlier. Life is a beautiful journey and don't spoil it for those who are not worth it!
Sitting on my favorite place I often think about you, about us How can anything be so complicated Yet so beautiful? I often hear the idea of being out of love but this fact always amaze me that Even after being so many years in love I don't know why I could never be tired of it Your words still do everything to me as they did earlier After a long and hectic day the cute little scenarios of us I make in my head makes me feel contented The smallest talk with you can Change my mood in a second I could go from happy to upset and from sad to the happiest in a moment of time Missing you is like the long scary night where I crave your touch , I always wish it to end as soon as possible. Being with you and hugging you feels as felicitious as cool breeze after a dusky humid weather The serenity I feel after finding my way back to you is inexplicable You are like my favorite song which I never get bored of and which could enlighten up my foul mood by brining a smile on my face , I adore you as much as I adore star gazing on a beautiful night Babe, You are the moon of my dull night And whether I romanticize or compare the most beautiful things of the world with you It still won't be able to prove the love I have for you and how much I am fond of you !
//Heart beats fast Colors and promises How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer//
everyone say things like forever is a myth, we don't believe in happy endings etc .But deep down we wait for it ,even I do and this song is all about it. It's about the beautiful life changing day for which you have waited for years .Its about the moment when your heart race fastest, thinking about the promises and the life ahead makes you feel happiest but nervous at the same time, questions like Am I brave enough ? Or Is it the right time? Comes on your mind. But your heart conquers over mind when you walk down the aisle, all of your doubts go in vain when you see that person standing alone ,looking heavenly as if their whole life they have been waiting for no one but you . No matter how scared you have been to love, you know that person will never let you fall. It's about the time when you walk slowly towards your happily ever after . Its about the moment when thinking about this beautiful change you get shiver down your spine.
//I have died every day waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more//
It's about the time when you get flashbacks of your past, how you met them for the first time and you didn't have any idea that you both would come this far, you both would grow together. You wonder about the time when you both were so unsure or lost but you both became each other's strength, about the moment when you hugged or kissed for the first time and how it had been the most ecstatic moment of your life .It feels you have loved and waited for them for ages, suddenly when their gaze falls on you, you melt out of shyness just like you did the very first time, suddenly you become so sure and by looking at their nervous face you assure them too that darling, despite all the obstacles, you have loved them for thousand years and will love them more till eternity!
Papa, It's my very first Father's day without you everyone have to face this harsh reality in their life but I never knew, In my life It would come so soon . Earlier, I was scared for this day I was scared for how would I even face those quotations and stories on father's day? But then I realized even If you're not there or you can't see what I do and it may hurt me alot but you are and will always be my Papa right? And may be If what people say is true then you must be feeling the things I do for you
I still remember when I was a child we used to travel alot , you had a habit of getting down at every railway station and whenever you come late I used to cry thinking that you missed the train and I won't be able to see you again . Sometimes I wonder how do I manage to spend every single day without you now . It feels like I have a baggage of emotions within my heart which I have to carry forever.
Everyone says that there's a special bond between father and daughter, And I really feel that now. It was so easier for me to make you understand my feelings or emotions , I have had made tons of mistake but you never judged me. even when I used to be alone I had a surety that no matter what you will always be there for me. Everything has changed since you left Papa nothing is same , my heartbreaks everytime whenever I realize that you're nor more with us ,It feels as if I am waiting for this nightmare to end .no matter how much I try to be normal your absence still haunts me. Whenever I try to be happy Questions like would things be more happier if you are there? arise in my mind
The memory of last year of me annoying you for buying chocolates on the behalf of father's day is still with all its freshness on my mind . Whenever I miss you or want to share something I still talk to you. Your scoldings were the funniest .I never experienced how strict a father could be, you were always sweet to me I miss how you used to hide chocolates underneath My pillow.I miss how you used to convince me to eat whenever I fought with mum. I miss the way you used to dance or sing whenever you were happy .I miss your voice. I miss the way you cried whenever you came to drop me off. I didn't show but it made me cry too . I miss sleeping on your shoulder or you giving me medicines whenever I fell sick.
I wish I would have written this when you were there It would not have proven how grateful I am to you but It would atleast made you happier . I never showed it but in our family, the person whom I felt most connected with was you.There were many things which I wanted to do for you , I wanted to be your strength, support and capable enough to handle your problems. may be you won't be there to see it but I will surely do it for making you happy and proud .
I love you Papa , I am so lucky to have your features and habits within me they will always remind me of you. No matter how short our roads were you have been the best father to me and you were the most kind human being too, no one thinks about anyone in this world the way you did, you always searched kindness within people but you had to live for yourself too , you forgot that you had your own dreams too. I am proud of being your daughter . A very happy father's day to the best father in the world!
We humans have an ability ,ability of determination. There's nothing in the world we can't do when we are determined for it But why is it so hard to love ourselves ? Where do the determination goes at that time?
May be because we don't actually know what self love is or how falling in love with ourselves actually feel like . I have been asking this question to myself from a very long time and I have finally come to the conclusion that everyone has their own way of loving themselves .
I am the type of person who gets easily demotivated or hurt ,One sentence is enough for making me hate myself . So, self love is when I can love myself even when I feel worthless .
I sure am the person with million of flaws but loving my flaws is one the of the greatest thing I can ever do .my flaws make me human, they make me feel different from others .Instead of faking perfection and later dying inside I can be imperfect but alive .
I carry some deeply affected wounds within myself which will take ages to heal . In the process of healing I want to love myself so hard that may be the scars will be there forever but they won't be able to haunt me even When I will be all alone .
Falling and failing are a part of life, I want to love myself at that time when I fall and There will be no one to pick me up .I want to rise by myself , It will make me nothing but strong ,after all I know that others can only play a part Its only me who can make it happen. I want to be an inspiration for myself .
Once a person mocked me for my writings but I knew that no matter what people say I love writing and I love what I write.It has a great impact on my life It helped me heal and it still does so,I want to love myself the way I love my writings .I want to adore myself the way I adore them
I will get to know that I have fallen for myself when the judgements and mockings won't be able to affect me anymore , when crying tonight won't spoil my mornings, when I will able to love myself everyday ,When I will be my own happiness in disguise!
I don't know what to do when I feel half dead inside, As if all the complications has hit my life like a dreadful storm and If it won't stop It will destroy my my life forever. I don't know what to do whenever I feel ashamed of myself , about what I have become and how I am losing myself day by day I don't know what to do when I couldn't able to find what my mistakes actually were? I don't know what to do when even after trying to be good for others or myself people judged me on the basis of what I wear and what I write and what I do When my clothes decide my talent and how much success I will get in life. Getting judgements by your closed one hurts you alot It kills me when my own mother instead of believing me believes on other people It kills me when people give me tags like fake, selfish or characterless It kills me when the person I need the most leave my messages on seen It kills me when I lie to the only people who cares about me Yes I am temperamental and sometimes I do or say things which I didn't even think about but that is not always my fault right? Everyone needs to understand me also I don't know what to do when questions like Am I that bad? Or Am I unlovable ? Did I really deserve hell ? Starts arising in my mind I tried and tried and tried, I gave my all to cope with the circumstances, but I never got appreciated for it , I don't know what to do whenever I realize that no matter how much I try I belong to a broken family where no one understands each other and where nothing goes right You know whenever I feel that I have become unlovable I crave so much for love , it feels as if the Toxicity has become a trait within me and I have to live with it Its feels as if my mind and heart has become a ticking bomb from bottling up things and will burst anytime. Not only me but Other people will also get affected by the fire of pain negativity and toxicity of it . I have become so desperate for someone to understand me , but I am scared that I will hurt that person too.This guilt is eating me up daily I tried being strong but I just can't anymore.I have learnt one thing that no matter how much you deny or try to act normal If you live in Live in toxicity for too long it affects you in every possible way. Every night My heart bleeds and cries in pain . I am tired of waking up with new problems daily. I get murdered by My own expectations everyday. I don't like when people always search flaws within me I am not weak but I can't be strong either Its like only single word of love and I will Burst In tears It's not like I am craving for sympathy or attention its just I have almost forgotten that how it is feel to being loved or cared about I just don't want to lose myself again,I don't want to lose the battle, I don't want to lose the stability which was coming towards me after so long and I don't want to let people feel that they were right and won against me I feel like I am at the same place where I was exactly an year ago. These days , I find myself alone I am a human and no matter what they do everyone deserves to be loved and here I am dying in pain without doing a single thing. I don't know how will I be able to heal but I have faith that one day these things won't matter to me anymore But they will haunt me like an awful past forever !
It's been tsome time since we last talked The tag of "we are not together anymore" has now stuck on us If someone asks me about us I say it easily but what would I do with my heart ? It is still not ready to accept It still searches for the comfort you used to give . I know the fact that everyone in this world has there own individuality the next person whom I will fall in love with (May be) will be different But why do I try to find you in every guy I talk to ? Why do I reject them thinking that he is not you ? Why do I feel that a part of me has left with you ? Aren't break ups are all about moving on? I never wanted to leave you even I would've spent my whole life by living, being happy, loving ,laughing and crying with you But I couldn't bear that uncertainty of our relationship, about how long would be together I couldn't bear being the single one who discussed about our relationship I couldn't bear you treating me according to your mood Everytime I tried talking to you about us you felt Distant to me Sometimes, we have to keep aside our things for the person we love Everytime I talked to you I felt insecure about myself ,I felt that I am not good enough for you for and for the thing we had I thought that may be because of everything that has happened no matter how much I try or want, I will never be able to understand you and I won't be able to be there in your needs You know, It was very difficult to leave you , when I was saying those words I wanted you to stop me but it never happened I wanted you to say that we will fix this but it never came out of your mouth You know I have been through alot and I wanted to you to ensure me that no matter what you will never leave me You will love me as seriously as you can and give your best I know these things would seem useless childish and boring to you But I was scared as hell because I have fallen for you so immensely and if you would've left me I would 've lost myself too Saying those I love yous once in a while was not enough for me I am a type of person who needs a time to time reassurance I never craved for anything as much as I crave for your love , after whatever I have been through because of you Was it so much to ask for? I wonder , does it affected you as much as it did to me? Even today I check your account countless time I want to text and express about how I feel, no matter how much I deny or ignore deep down I still wait for your text whenever I missed you I wanted to do nothing but hug you so hard to close the distance between us Loving you was tough but leaving you was more difficult But it would've been harder in future So, may be I did the right thing May be in a parallel universe we will be together and love each other till eternity!
Dear shershah, From your childhood you grew up with just one passion ,and one dream that turned into reality. That unyielding spirit , courage you always had. Shershah will be forever embedded in our heart for the way it made us feel.You didn't narrated the story of solider who sacrificed his life in order to confer glory upon himself and his country , you depicted courageous , loyal , humble human being who cared for the people whom he valued in his life. Shershah and dimple taught us the acceptance, to be patience, to believe in ourself, to value our loved ones , to be courageous , honest ,loyal and to never giveup ."Life should be measured in deeds ,not years."Taking risks and accepting risks are considered a part of our life. A beautiful everlasting love of Capt Vikram Batra and Dimple ma'am remained in our heart.That gurdwara scene from 'shershah' is so beautiful . How he truly wanted her in his life that he married her secretly holding her chunri while completing parikrama . When he hugged her last time , said I love you when he slit his finger and applied sindoor on her forehead , when he called her 'Mrs batra and when he rang up for the last time from the war zone . When shershah friend asked him to take care and return safe from the war. Shershah " Main Tiranga Lahra Kar Aaunga Nahin To Usme Lipat Kar Aaunga, Lekin Aaunga Jarur". A man brimming so much passion , courage and loyalty. Shershah ended with my heart going for you dimple ma'am.Shershah is as much of your story as Capt batra's . When you fall in love with a man who loves the nation so much, you can't help but you can keep waiting to see him next time. It takes all heart to love someone who might not come back some day.You're courageous dimple ma'am you have all my heart . When Dimple said in her old audio interview "We will meet one day it is just a matter of time ." What are you made of dimple ma'am it takes brave strong heart to love someone so selflessly. " This time when you return, we'll make it more memorable.But when he returned wrapped in tricolor and sound of the gunshots got etched in her heart forever. I had teary eyes. This woman is so courageous and patient. Capt Vikram Batra you will always be remembered ✨
"what's she like" I used to think how hard can it be to explain what someone is like until I met you. God, you were so different. How do i even explain your spontaneous character?
Clueless staring at the sky, Comparing the shape of clouds with animals. Waiting at the side of the road just so that you can click "the perfect shot". Listening to Enrique, arijit and maneskin one after the other, Dear God your Playlist was a mess. Staying up all night binge watching dragon ball, I still cannot believe that you never saw Naruto. To be honest it was really hard to accept that you were into anime, haha. Buying a cake for yourself? No occasion whatsoever? Come on, I can't explain this even if I want to. And oh my god your eternal love for stars.
You know what? Maybe you were weird! Maybe you were different! But, You were perfect, Just the way you were. You made it pretty clear that we were not meant to be. It was hard to let go, to move on. And honesty I still think about you. Wouldn't be writing this otherwise.
Not that I still love you or anything tho. It's just that, I'm not used to "normal" anymore. I look for your "weird" everyplace I go.
I'll probably not blame myself for what happened to you, because that is something I promised to someone who is kind of what you were and will always be to me.
When you left, you took away everything. Hours feel like days, days feel like months, months feel like years and everything is still the same, just that you're not there to make it any different, cause you were the only one who could. It gets heavy and I've no idea what to do now. How did you make it so easy for me? How did you took away the heaviness that suffocated me? You were always there, holding onto me, never left my side, Even when we had our stupid fights or Even on the nights I pushed you away, You held me like the light in the darkness. I had you, all of you and now, I have just the memories, which we don't make anymore.
You're the reason i know love, You taught me what love is, You taught me how to love, You showed me what its like to love someone without any expectations. You taught me that you don't give up on the people you love.
//I gave up on myself, while you never did.//
How could you be the only one that made everything better, not temporarily but permanently.
//Sometimes I think the universe was jealous of us, and that's why it took you away from me. Because in this temporary world, we were a forever, weren't we?//
You're the reason I look up at the sky and cry a little more, cause somewhere out there, i know you're there too. I try not to look up anymore, But I still do, Cause whenever I look up, I feel like you're looking at me too and in that moment, I feel whole. -gelukzoeker
Koi pooche tumse mere baare mein Toh khamoshi jata jana, Num ankhon se thoda Muskura jana . . Bata dena ki tareef karne mein hunarbaaz Ussa koi insaan nahi thaa Rotey huye ko hasa jata thaa Napasand aadat pooche toh laparwah bata jana . . Koi pooche mera kissa toh Afwaah bata jana, Naam na batana mera Bas khamakha bata jana . . Bata dena ussa koi shaks nahi tha Toot kar muskura de Aesa koi Besharam nahi thaa . . Bata dena ki parwah karne mein Tha bemishaal, Nafrat ki hadd pooche toh Bepanaah bata jana . . Safar mein bhatka hua raahi bata jana Pata nahi batana mera, bas gumraah bata jana . . Ek bura khaab bata jana Raaton ka khwaab bata jana Mai nightmare apna dost bata jana