My mind convinced that I can be without you. My nerves didn't lose its flexibility. My heart didn't stop beating. My lips smiled. I was doomed by anger.
My anger consumed me wholly, which made me to ignore your talks for a while. My ego got hung up and refused to melt from the summit of arrogance. My conscience believed that I did nothing wrong.
" Why should I always be the one to apologize? ". That's the time I realized ego leaves no one. It was like a crown that rules the mind. After a while, everything which consumed me perished slowly.
I returned to my conscious, I became the real me again, the one who never gives up on anyone at any moment. I realized it was not over. Furthermore, I couldn't accept the reality without you. My nerves got numb, unable to think other than you.
The silence between my lips, though stretched, is now chanting your name. For my every smile, my tears welled up in remembrance of you.
My heart started to ache like it was the end. But my inner voice kept echoing, "I still love you.."
I wish you won't turn me down, for already I'm alleviating the pain. Just let me hug you with my heart and knit you with my skin.
Love became toxic. The love which binded you together is now repelling like the similar nodes of the magnet. Even when you try to come closer, the ego, anger, and hatred repels you from your love. The love which made you to fly high without wings, the love which kindled your inner veins to tickle, the love which was fully contained by your heart, has become a diesease that is consuming you. The love which meant to be your world, has become a nightmare that haunts you forever till you give up. The love which gave you an ineffable happiness, yet brought an indelible scar on your soul. Your life got a meaning and purpose cause of the love, but the love belongs to you no more. Did you ask the cupid to aim at you? When without asking a good happens, why it's not permanent? Why it has always a question mark at the end? Why does love becomes a past and painful memories? What makes two persons to stay? The commitment ? Or the promise? Or the love which warmed your heart? There's no difference in breaking up and being together with hatred because the love which you gave birth got buried into the coffins of your dead soul. Whatever the life gives you, it's hard to stick around in hatred than to let go with love. No matter how your love is, you cannot forget that easily. You may feel like inhaling poison, but the fruits of happiness that you tasted will be unforgettable. Your inner heart knows how good your love is. You know it's hard to live with them, yet you cannot live without them. So, you choose to be with them, a desired life. And the peace comes along your way with love.
You are my desired life, my destined life, who gives a purpose of my existence, who gave the meaning of my love, who gave a form to my dreams. You are the one who discovered my hidden heart with great endurance. You are the one who saw my true heart and planted the seed of love, has now become a garden where butterflies and blossoms dance. This feeling makes my veins to tingle and ushers my heart. I dream of many things like being with you together under one roof, caressing you in every means. You don't need to surprise me with gifts, just seeing you close to me makes my lips stretches in curves with lovely smile and glittery eyes. I sometimes would get mesmerized of your beauty where you should pull me back to reality. Your name rests between my lips like a prayer, chanting the most sacred love and faith. You are my anchor who firms my prosperity. Your words of love is where new hope begins. I might fight and loose my patience, yet you hold me back before I fall. Your warm hugs melts me inside you and my soul rests in peace. Your kisses perishes my scars and reminisces how blessed I'm. Even a day with you is enough for me, a dreamt life with my love. If I shed tears seeing you broken, you wipe out my tears and held me around your arms. I have made my circle small but the happiness, love and life will be immeasurable between our two hearts. I would drench you everyday with my lots and wholesome of love for I never ever will make you feel unloved or lonely. If you want to be alone for some time, let me be the loneliness who hugs you around. Let you replace my pillows, let you win me everyday with your cozy smile, let myself within you, let you be my world.