I am painting my nights with happy lies Hoping to soothe my brokenness someday Layers of blue-gray covered my wall But I shaded it with vivid colors of pretense.
I was never a speck of dust I am part of the constellation I live with a purpose and reasons And I matter in this life's cosmos.
Is there an answer on those blank pages Or is it my duty to fill them up The story of my life is mine to write Eventually, I'll find the answers Along my journey in this world.
Sway with the wind and leaves Following my instincts led me to the present Seasons of life metamorphosed me to be resilient On some days, I'm overwhelmed with sadness But, I know that if I keep moving I'll reach my destination where I no longer have To keep on pretending A place where happiness will prosper A moment to smile and be grateful for my answered prayers.
Since the day I weaved poesies about love I chose you to be my muse That made you a part of the proses I wrote As I pour the emotions from my heart There showed that all my writings Were lyrics for a song of yearning Sentences never end without you Ballads of longing with rhythms of my heartbeat I may not know rhetorics and archaic words like Shakespeare But, I can write an acrostic style of your name Send you handwritten haiku and tanka Yet our story could make a metaphorical novel Of how unrequited love happens A cover designed with the night and moon To portray where we first talked With pages painted with colors of sunset While I watch your silhouette from a distance When my cheeks were sun-kissed from imminent tears And my letters never again reached your presence.
I wrote a fairytale inside the lyrics of a song The first part was the spring of her life The ending was filled with the ambience of autumn When the music dies She felt like waking up from a dream When the leaves turn brown Her heart slowly froze along the pain The day her ship sank It's when she felt the real agony Of melancholia and loss.
I wonder how it would feel to see your face To touch your cheeks, hold your hands Lay my head on your chest Kiss you and smile in betwixt our lips How sweet your fragrance is How your voice would sound While you whisper my name All these I think of when I look at the moon I uttered your name... And even the sound of it Makes my heart react rapidly Ache and longing fills my chest Remembering your memories like a slideshow Kept me holding on to my window Cause all these thoughts will no longer happen Now that we've said Goodbye.
With a touch of life, I started to look alive While I thought the world will welcome me I was abandoned and hated The dull smell of Zephyr affected my sight Colorful buds in my eyes became gray Everything I see turned faded black I hear voices in my head Perhaps the gossips about me.
With a touch of a warm hand, I started to look alive The morning breeze smelled like spring Vivid colors of nature bring a smile to my face The sound of birds serenaded my heart Slowly, I tasted the sweetness of life I don't want to just breathe every day I now choose to live.
Evil lurks around looking for weaknesses They come to my sleep Where I show my bleakness
They laughed and mocked me Playing around with malice Getting satisfaction by my cowardice
Despite their scary face I fought hard Standing firm and brave Even whilst my knees shake
"In the name of God, I rebuke you and destroy you!" The evil's smile faded And she was gone
While I thought it was fine There was another stronger evil Waiting outside my house
If only I could close my eyes But I couldn't, He started to come to me With a smile like he has victory But I stood firm And shouted with all my might "Get out you evil! Get out! Get out! In the name of Jesus Christ!"--
I know I speak His name But it sounded like I was groaning Like I couldn't speak clearly Yet I heard my voice
I opened my eyes I see blank space "Am I in a coffin?" I panicked a little "I don't see my room" "What's that light?" I reached for it And shoved away The blank space Like it was a false view
And I saw my room The single light was from the modem It was dark And my heart was beating rapidly Heavy breathes
"In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Thank you, God, for waking me up, Amen."
Once when I was young Goodbye doesn't hurt much As I know I can see them again Yet now, it's one of those Scariest word that I don't wanna hear Sometimes, it's not said But felt.
Once when I was young I thought love is like a fairy tale Like how the books explain it to be Yet, experiencing it It's way deeper than its word And it includes other emotions That love alone isn't enough And it must grow For it to be stronger.
Once when I was young I fear having memories Of things which once became A part of me So, I practiced the art of forgetting But now, I wished I should've kept them in me Cause my memory is fleeting Who knows when My human brain Can keep remembering The memories of my life Which made me, me.
Darkness is nothing new in our lives It causes loss and strifes Yet we must still strive To grab the wheel and drive.
When everything is hopeless We can't even get up on our knees So, we let our time freeze And watch it destroy our peace.
The process of healing is never easy It's a flowing breeze that is never steady It gets worse before it continues healthily But, the reward of it is being ready To stand up again and this time you'll see How you've overcome your dark times bravely.
Don't be scared to say "I need time for myself" 'Cause we're all just books in this world's shelf Some people's covers are all pretty and strong But some are dusty, used, and torn.
With healing, we can repair our damaged parts Choosing to heal is not being weak but being strong Use the pain and transform it into an art That art is you, with a beautiful heart.
PS: I've been gone for days. I just took some time for myself. Recently, I felt emotionally drained. I'm an emotional person and growing up, I'm aware now that this is how it is to be drained. I did many things to balance myself again. When you're in tune with yourself, you can feel there's something wrong or anything you're missing. I tried some digital art even though I don't know how to draw, I successfully did it and got satisfaction from it. As someone going into healing, it's opening my eyes that there's more about myself that I did not know. It tells me when to recharge and when I'm fine. I know I don't know much of people here, but please know, it's okay to take some time for yourself and heal. All the best!
I hope you know that struggling to cope up with isn't a sign of weakness. You have every right to find hope. You have every right to find that teeny tiny piece of happiness. Go ahead and, listen to that one particular song over and over again. read that one meme that makes you laugh. watch episodes of "FRIENDS" or "THE OFFICE". order a pizza for yourself.
Sure, some won't get you or your ways. Might call you weak.
Don't let them get into your head, They have no idea what you've been through. They have no idea what you go through on a daily basis. They don't know what it's like to be in your shoes. They don't know what rock bottom feels like. They don't know what being alone feels like.
I know. I know what it's like. the anxiety, the pressure, the discomfort, I know what each and every one of those things feel like.
There was no one for me when I needed to hear this the most. So here I am, Telling you that you have every right to shun those who ridicule you for appreciating these little things.
So , thanks for coming in my life From start I was knowing this story won't have a good end But still , I expressed my feelings to you I don't know what tomorrow holds for me But I am happy that in future when I think of you ,there will be just our memories and your love,not any regrets I am happy I met you ♥️