It's hard to live in darkness, where I try to heal from my past everyday. It's not easy when I try to let go. It's hard to live in a place of no protection, where I fear everyday not of life but torture, physically and mentally. I die every day looking at his drunken state, it puts me down and makes me feel unworthy and like a burden. I feel like this world is not where I belong and it is true when they said I was here in this world by mistake. The outer world put me down, made me feel hollow. But the inner world hurt me more and for some reason I just want to escape, all of it. Leaving everything behind and live with just me and myself. Because one day I surely will not be able to listen to those screams and curses and bare up with empty but hurtful blames, I am not strong enough. And I also know that this darkness is where I then die.