saifffalii

Send me a Sunflower if we ever stop talking he/him

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  • saifffalii 68w

    I think I'm Van Gogh,
    you make me feel like him.
    Yellow was your favourite colour and so were sunflowers.
    I swallowed yellow paint
    in an effort to know its joy.

    I think I'm Van Gogh,
    you make me feel like him.
    I sketched my heart
    till my love became starry.
    I burnt my lips.
    Like Van Gogh,
    ' I thought I would be understood without words. '

    My ink on your body became colourless,
    that was the moment I realised my love needs no canvas.
    I think I am Van Gogh.

    -Saif Ali

    @writersnetwork
    @readwriteunite

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    I think I'm Van Gogh

  • saifffalii 74w

    The sunflower that I will present to you
    grow in the saddest part of me.
    And if you only knew how good it smelled,
    it will fade away once you leave
    Saif Ali

  • saifffalii 75w

    Breathe my anxiety into your heart,
    close your eyes and inhale my silence,
    drown inside the realm of my sadness,
    taste my solitude - you must know
    you never come back from there,
    lay there away from me and hear my fumbling dead voice.
    My heart is under the debris collect the ashes.
    - Saif Ali

  • saifffalii 101w

    // a mental package. //

    You can never be Indian just to pretend to be
    Who are you an Indian or Pakistani first?
    Orange or green? which one are you?
    'Red' my heart screamed.

    Outside the house my practice is to respond the prejudices about my religion
    or the colour my heart belongs to.

    It breaks my heart to read about the principle of 'secularism' and to be questioned
    about my identity at the same.
    It breaks my heart to read about.

    Which part of a skin shall I tear with my own hands to show the love that runs in my veins for the country I belong to? I wear love for my country and I wish this garment could have been naked!

    I chant 'National anthem' to the wind.
    I do 'wuzoo' from the water of this land.
    My forefathers wrote their name on the soil fighting the kargil war.
    But it seems,
    the wind is a bad listener,
    the water is a bad carrier to my emotion,
    and the soil does not remember names.

    I want to go away from the people who would later call me ' anti-nationalist.' They call me this. It's a word they use for my existence.
    My heart is a tree heavy-laden with the love for it's country, for it's roots would never be shaken. It's a metaphor I use for my existence in this country I belong to.


    -Saif Ali

    ___________

    @writersnetwork

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  • saifffalii 101w

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  • saifffalii 110w

    Love to me was always defined as endowing things with their unique qualities. It's like a fragrance in the nostrils, a taste which excites the palate, a texture which is a joy to cares, a melody which touches the heart. To come close to love is an everlasting garden of brilliant colours and delicate fragrances. Love is like, to hear a music that one might wish it's enchantment to last forever.

    Later did I realize, love exists not in vacuum. if love crowns you with all the tenderness, if love wipes all the pain and vain, if love makes you grow into a better person, if love makes you sleep with joy and you wake up at the dawn with a happy heart. It shall crucify you too, It shall prune your growth and prick your heart too. It shall take all the tenderness with itself.

    The U - turn love takes, your bones get fermented, your rib sinks down to the stomach. Every day becomes a nightmares with the memories it brings. It crushes down every little thing to despair, without any hope of repair.
    And then you stand on the ashes of who you used to be!

    -Saif Ali

    @writersnetwork

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  • saifffalii 111w

    TW : Depression / Suicide. //

    Nobody goes into peace without sorrow, not without a wound in the spirit. // Depression engulfs you with it's wing so hard that coming out of it seems impossible, and even if you try to, the sword hidden amidst it's pinion would kill you. / And then you REST IN PEACE! //
    Depression has become a pet word for people defining sadness. / People throw the word "depressed" around like as if it's oxygen. // Though nothing should be called depression untill it makes you quiver even in the sun. / Untill it makes you choke to almost death, even if you are standing on the shore line of an ocean. / Until the death sails the dream. / Until it knots your tongue and seals your lip to talk about it. //

    People don't lose a chance to ask if I'm you are mentally ill. / People don't lose a chance to tag you as an emotionally cold human, if you fail to react. / People don't lose a chance to call you morbid. / People don't lose a chance to humiliate you about your depression publicly, calling it either 'nautanki' or an an 'attention seeking' behaviour. / People don't lose a chance to criticize you about your taste in things. / People don't lose any damn chance to descend to yours roots and shake it to scatter your spirit into pieces. // And then people don't even lose a chance to be kind on their social media posts about depression, hypocrisy and Irony at it's best! //

    -Saif Ali

    @writersnetwork

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  • saifffalii 112w

    I'm a moth that loves flame.
    The death it brings,
    nobody has to be blamed.

    I'm a wax that melts before the fire.
    Ironically, the wicked ache
    doesn't perish and expire.

    I'm valiant soldier in dreams.
    My heart hears not
    the vehement screams.

    I'm dark and empty lantern.
    For to stay, alive at night, shall fill it with oil.
    Nobody's shall burn therein, but my flame!
    -Saif Ali

    @writersnetwork
    @philosophic_firefly

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  • saifffalii 112w

    There are days I feel like happily alive
    And then there are days I feel like a dead body.

    There are days I see hope in my dream.
    And then there are days, in dreams death screams.

    There are days, I have a sound sleep !
    And then there are days, when thoughts gather round my bed.

    There are days, I forget everything from the past.
    And then there are days, when memories rip my heart out of my soul.

    There are days, I interact a lot with people.
    And then there are days, I feel like humans are horrible.

    There are days I leave my worries at shore lines.
    And then there are days, I feel like drowning, and not able to breath!

    There are days when everything is mute and calm.
    And then there are days, there's a voice that screams loud inside my head, telling me I'm not good enough and I'm falling behind.

    There are days I'm filled with positive thoughts.
    And then there are days, my brain is fogged with darkness and hopelessness.
    -Saif Ali


    @writersnetwork
    @philosophic_firefly

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  • saifffalii 112w

    Wherever,
    I'm with you
    Through & through.
    Oh, your eyes with depth of emotions,
    I want to drown in right through.
    Oh, your sullen lips,
    I want to sink in, into
    Wherever,
    I'm with you
    Through & through.

    Don't you feel black and blue,
    Even if I'm not in your lovers queue
    I'm with you through & through.
    I've known your deepest and darkest secrets.
    Dost thou understand?
    I'll always love you.
    Wherever,
    I'm with you
    Through & through.

    I am, when I'm with you.
    Thou made me realize,
    Love is pure and true
    And,
    Even if I'm not in your lovers queue
    I'll still love you
    Through & through.

    When you fail tryin',
    When happiness turns into crying,
    and your head needs a shoulder for laying.
    Just come through,
    Feel free to do.
    Wherever,
    I'm with you,
    Through & through.
    I'm with you,
    Through & through....

    -Saif Ali

    ____________________________

    @writersnetwork
    @writerscommunity

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    Wherever,
    I'm with you!