ridhiiii

Cloudy mood swings and stolen daydreams.

Grid View
List View
Reposts
  • ridhiiii 3w

    In hopes that this comes true but somewhere in the corner of my heart, I believe that this is true. He's watching over us and taking care of us.

    This is way too close to my heart. Dadu passed away when I was 10 months old and I've heard so much about him that even if I become a quarter of what he was, I'd thank my stars. He's my dad's superhero and I've never met a person that didn't admire him.✨
    #travel #gravec

    Read More

    Travelling to Heaven

    In a flight of my dreams, I take off
    Into the crystallised sky of dew,
    Morphed my name, and the pain
    In my eyes, which have rested
    For a long time now.

    Travelling through the stars, I fail
    To notice their beauty, my mind,
    Excited to meet my hero's superhero.
    Onto the white tinted cloud, I see huge doors,
    Happiness shone in my
    Twinkling eyes, an impeccable beauty.
    I walk through the doors, in hopes to meet him soon.

    After an hour of arrival, my eyes started to lose sight, disconsolate, tears covered my eyes like the mists on mountain tops.
    A familiar voice greeted me and I turned around, wiped my eyes with the edge of my tshirt.

    His eyes would put the stars to shame,
    His smile fixed the patches in my heart,
    His aura hinted of hardwork brimmed with a fresh dash of life lessons, I admired him.

    'Dadu', only a word could escape my faint lips and I hugged him tight and cried.
    I've never met him, but his warmth reminded me of the hugs of my dad, and I asked him grave questions, I knew he'd never have answers to.

    'Why did you have to go this early, didn't you want to meet me, you could've waited for me to grow up', I fussed and his tender smile calmed me like a mother does her hungry child.

    'Beta, I handed over my responsibilities and I saw you for 10 months, I'm glad, but everyone has to leave one day or another, you cannot be hung up on the past and know that wherever I am, I'm happy and I'm at peace' he spoke.

    'But everyone misses you so much, I've heard so many stories about you, that it seems as though I've met you already, and I know this is just a dream, and I might not remember everything you say, but there are days, when I miss you so much, that I imagine you beside me, and I talk to you, do you ever get my messages?'

    Dadu smiled and replied, 'I did, and I still do, each and every time that you call out to me, I listen. I'm always watching over my family and no matter what happens, don't stop believing in yourself and have some faith, things will be okay, have the courage to follow your heart and don't underestimate yourself, okay?'

    'Tell everyone that I'm watching over them, and that I miss them too, I hope you remember this, but the time has come, for you to go back into the real world'.

    'Ah, I know dadu, and I touch his feet to take his blessings and tell him to always be around and that I admire him and his courage when he fought with the world, only for his family and that dad misses him the most. I cried and he gave me his white handkerchief and said, 'Look around and enjoy the little things in life. Don't worry about tomorrow, live in the present and always face problems with a smile, and know that whenever you want to pour out your heart, I'm here to listen. I know you're in good hands, beta'.

    And I woke up, in tears and a smile, knowing that it was just a dream, until I saw his handkerchief clasped in my hands.

    I smiled, and promised him that I'll definitely make him proud
    ©ridhiiii

  • ridhiiii 4w

    Ask for help when you need it. There are certain battles you cannot fight alone, no matter how much you try. We're all growing, so let's bloom together.��

    #combination
    #smokec
    Thank you @writersnetwork (19)��❤️

    Read More

    Chaos and the silence

    /What died before death were the feelings of love and warmth I felt throughout my childhood, shortlived till 8.
    I drank a glass of motivation every morning, to get out of bed, and onto the bus to school, for I realised that the sun did come up, whether I liked it or not. I survived. Survived for my mother, survived for my father.
    Sexual assault, a word I didn't even know about, until I turned 12, I faced it, for quite many days but I wondered, whether anyone would believe me, so I kept quiet and hoped it would leave my frail little heart, before I took my last breath/

    /You turn a page and touch another life when you walk around brave, wearing your heart on your sleeve. I decided to forget everything which happened when I was a kid and take life, one day at a time. By the time I turned 16, I was shy because my body was growing. I felt weird. I turned to books and movies to enjoy life and then the pressure of school struck me. My parents began noticing my behavior of ignoring little things and told me to be myself, only then the world would make sense. So I decided to try it out, to turn the page and start being myself on my seventeenth birthday, to start fresh/

    /A lone girl and a familiar song stayed with me as I went to another city for college. Still listening to 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift, I started fresh, pushing away my past. I met a cute guy who brought out the best in me. He pampered me, took me out on dates and loved me for who I am. I spoke to myself every night, I was happy, and grateful for everything until one fine day, I read an article online about an assault of an 8 year old and I froze. The dirty touch of that man, sent shivers down my spine and I stayed awake the entire night with a pool of fresh tears, stealing away my sunshine. It rained heavily the next morning and I didn't get out of bed. My smoked conscience didn't let me/

    /I loved you a little more than I loved myself, always remember this, but I cannot take this relationship forward, I blurted. He caressed my hair and asked me what happened but I shivered to his touch. He wrapped me in a blanket, gave me some water, while I cried my heart out and listened to me while I told him about my assault. He hugged me tight and convinced me that it'll all be okay, and in his arms, I slept like a baby. I felt a burden lift off my chest, because I was no longer battling this alone. I knew my secret was safe and that he'd never tell anyone. Three years of college flew by/

    /The moment between saying goodbye and leaving grows flowers and sews your heart sending tears down your cheeks in hopes of meeting again. Thousands of miles is a lot of difference when it comes to liking someone, but when you love someone, those thousand miles don't even matter. Both of us cried a lot, but knew that we wouldn't ever fall apart. That's when you know it's true love. It's been nearly 30 years of loving each other, but I think, I love him a little more than yesterday. He helped me to accept and move on from the darkest parts of my life and I helped him add colours to his. He brought in silence to my chaotic world of one and helped me bloom/

    A little bit of love and kindness can save a soul who has no desire to survive. All of us fight battles no one knows about, but believe me, all of us need help. Help from a friend, family member or even from a therapist. Don't shy away from asking for help when you need it.
    ©ridhiiii

  • ridhiiii 6w

    Love is simple yet complicated with the wrong one. #love
    #temp
    @writersnetwork

    Read More

    Love

    My little sister who turned 13 this year asked me, "What does love feel like, will I find my prince charming?" and I was overwhelmed with emotions from an array of complicated phrases but I couldn't find the right metaphors for it.

    "Love?" I answered.
    Love is underrated.

    But how? Everyone's in love with someone or the other, she exclaimed.

    Love is definitely underrated. Love is giving your beating heart to somebody and never asking for it again, and definitely not expecting them to care for it, although we have expectations and end up ruining such a pure word. Love is endless, love is foolish. Love takes you to places, you've never been to before. Love makes sense only when you're with someone who makes you better, who embraces you for who you are and someone who supports you when you're right and scolds you on days when you want to give up.

    Love is a feeling not everyone experiences, and hence we've made, 'I love you' as such a common phrase, so that no ones feels unloved, and prince charming, baby, you have to learn to be your own prince charming.

    So, didi, how will I know if I love someone? Does love complete us? She asked, with sparkling eyes filled with curiosity.

    I replied with a smile, No darling, Love helps us realise that we complete ourselves. If you feel the need of a certain someone to complete you, to make you feel whole again, there's a possibility that you've got insecurities and baggages, you cannot deal with. A good guy/girl will help you overcome those insecurities, so that you feel whole again.

    But don't all of us come in pairs? Like a match made in heaven, she questioned again and I was awestruck with the amount of knowledge she had about this particular subject.

    It's good to have hope that someday you'll find that certain someone, baby. It isn't necessary that we've come in pairs, I think we're all lost in the start, and then eventually connect the dots, grow up and then find ourselves amongst the pool of 'still lost' people. Even if we do come in pairs, shouldn't we focus on finding and improving ourselves and our fate will connect us with that certain someone.

    Yeah, she replied faintly. So, should I not ask out my crush for a date?

    Well well well, and I let out a faint laughter thinking about the times when she couldn't even walk, and tears crawled down my face and I hugged her tight. "Baby, you should do what you want to do. There's nothing holding you back, if you like him, then ask him out, listen to your heart. We're all learning to love someone or the other. But promise me one thing, will you?"

    What didi? she replied with happiness that would put the stars and moon to shame.

    If someone doesn't love you back, you'd never ever blame it on yourself or your looks. You're the kindest and the cutest person in my life but you cannot force nor beg someone to love you back, alright?

    "Pinky promise didi".

    We hugged for a whole minute but I wouldn't have let gone of her ever. Not for a single second did I ever wish for her to grow up so soon. I recollected my past 'so-called-true-lovers' and wanted to protect her, but I reckoned that she didn't need protecting. Afterall, there are certain things that happen for good reasons, maybe she'll become braver and would handle things, better than I did. I really hoped she would.

  • ridhiiii 8w

    It's been a while since I wrote.

    I visited this cafe in November 2019 and it has caught my heart ever since. The cafe is dressed up in colourful notes, and quotes and notes to God, crushes, mom, friends, and even notes to the future me, it was overwhelming. Hoping I get to be there soon, and see whether my chits are still there, hehe.��

    #journal

    POD. OH MY MY��❤️
    Thank you so much, @writersnetwork @miraquill ��❤️��

    Read More

    Aug 24th, (Note Cafe, Vietnam)

    The crimson skies created enchanting
    Memories of the passing time,
    Stories and serendipity
    Surrounded the cafe
    And in a glimpse,
    My eyes caught
    The notes,
    Around
    Me.

    The Note Cafe, located in Vietnam,
    In the streets of Hanoi, Oh, a delight,
    People wrote their hearts out, on tiny
    Sticky notes, and pasted vulnerable
    Hearts on the kaleidoscope of walls,
    Covered in emotional baggage and
    Beautiful memories and moments.

    A couple, dressed in greys, sounded
    So happy and upbeat, they wiped each
    Other's moustaches of coffee, and
    Smiled at the sight of the camera lens.
    A family, sharing moments of glee,
    Dressed up in ill-fitted clothes, yet their
    Face shone like the diamond in dust,
    For the kids had never been to a place
    Like this cafe before, I felt at peace.

    The interiors of the cafe, reminded me
    Of a place I visited in my dreams, heaven.
    I saw an old lady, reading through chits,
    And thanking god, for getting another day
    To breathe, she was dressed in life lessons
    And gratefulness, her smile, I'll never forget.

    I saw a little child dressed in remorse,
    Writing chits addressed to God, "I hope
    My dad stops slapping my mom", and I
    Felt happiness, slipping through the cracks
    Of my conscience, and I began glancing
    Through the pink chits of supposed love,
    Wrapped in stories of heartbreaks and
    Betrayals, my tiny world of jouissance,
    Came trembling down, I realised that,
    People weren't as happy as they seemed about.

    I read between the lines of strangers'
    Faces, insecurities, baggages of past,
    Barely surviving. My little act of sunshine,
    Lacked to cover my scars of sorrow,
    I stripped my walls, and it felt like home.
    I'll never forget today, it felt like a warm
    Cup of hot chocolate on a winter night.

    Dear Diary,
    I'm not alone, I'm not the only one
    Battling my demons and covering them
    With so-called-love. I felt like home today,
    Embracing my scars of guilt-trapped-conscience.

    /Everyone's dressed in heartache, but not everyone shows it out, be kind to others, for good karma follows you around/
    ©ridhiiii

  • ridhiiii 12w

    Well, that's the thing with love, the right amount can take you places, while the wrong amount can break you in places, you didn't know could hurt.

    This is temp. My emotions are all over the place and I cannot find somewhere else to rant.
    Also sorry for not being active.

    Ps.Wishing I could turn off my humanity. (:

    Read More

    There's a fear imbibed deep within me,
    Rooting from your over-possessiveness,
    You call love.
    Helpless, into the ironic statements you made,
    Submerged shallow breaths, I inhale.

    With every tear bidding my eyes goodbye,
    I lose a little fragment of love, I feel,
    Over-protectiveness is a sin, it shatters lives.
    Where does this feeling go, when bhaiya
    Wants to stay the night with his friends?
    Where does this feeling go, when you want
    To go out someplace good?
    Where does this feeling go, when anyone else,
    In the house, wants to go out?

    My mind slips into a state of denial,
    That everything you do, is for my good,
    But I often wonder, if you don't trust me, who will?
    If I cannot choose what road to take,
    How would I know the difference between good or bad?

    Your words, I still remember the taste of 'em,
    Burns, my heart struggles to beat again,
    Suffocation doesn't seem distant.
    I know your love for me is pure,
    But please don't trap me in this place,
    Let me explore the circumference of this world,
    Until my legs hurt, and my mind feels
    Overwhelmed with the joy,
    Only I can feel.

    I miss the person you were, my superhero,
    I loved you more than anyone in this world,
    I wonder when did that change?
    Isn't love a funny thing, it takes you
    To new heights, crossing boundaries,
    That were up for a reason.
    Don't dig in too deep, it's shallow.

    /Sometimes love can be deadlier than poison/
    ©ridhiiii

  • ridhiiii 15w

    This challenge struck a chord deep down and hence, I decided to write, finally. Been going through the crisis of growing up and believe me, it sucks.
    Wrote this in a go, temp.
    #cage

    Ps. The lines in quotations do not belong to me.

    Read More

    Reliving stagnant dreams in the societal cage

    The chaotic bruises I've unveiled,
    Into the darkness, the moon fails
    To eradicate the numbness of my breath.
    The stale toxicity of societal expectations
    Trapped me in a state of kaleidoscopic dreams,
    Nightmares rupturing my veins, raw,
    And I bleed poetries, all night,
    On the fractured sheets of conjectures,
    Praying for my soul to receive love.

    "Even after letting go
    Of the last bird, I hesitate.
    There is something in this,
    Empty cage that never
    Gets released."

    The fear of failure,
    The stagnation of hopes, the fever of perfection,
    Anticipation of lost time and betrayals,
    Hold me back, into the land of insecurities.
    Moving on seems easier, when told out loud,
    But how do you let go, when every inch of your body,
    Breaks down, in hopes of never having to bid goodbye.

    I hesitate exploring my fantasies,
    And I stare at the empty cage, holding
    My happiness and freedom captive,
    Although the will of staying alive is stolen from me,
    I take in a deep breath, 1,2,3;
    And as I exhale,
    I lock the empty cages, with the stench of reality,
    Reliving the deep wounds you gave me, once upon a time, for I'm not alive,
    I live for the dreams, imbibed in my soul,
    Which I revisit every night.

    /But when I'm in that empty cage, I find a ray of light which scatters my conscience and sways me around the world, a world without the need of proving yourself, again and again/
    ©ridhiiii

  • ridhiiii 17w

    I just wanted to post somethin'
    Temp.
    @inara__ I'm gonna miss you cutes��
    @writersnetwork

    Read More

    Creases, edges flattened,
    Surviving throughout the day,
    Poets burning their hearts,
    On sonnets of daydreams,
    Their lives accustomed to words, lose,
    When these phrases, haunt whispers of past,
    The caged feelings suffocate my insides.

    The pen twirling around incomplete pages
    Plurging a hole of laughter,
    These demons deep within my conscience,
    Conspire against the will of my heart,
    Splashing odes of fright and fear,
    The devil sang to me, and I breathed his tunes,
    Like a lullaby, a new found home.

    Sorcery of blood, within the four walls of regret,
    Burnt sanguinity of your smile, fueled my pen,
    With the dusky scratches and starved stammers,
    The paper burnt hearing my stories, and I,
    Hummed to a tune of remorse and echoes of
    Laughter, surrounded my soul.

    Heat resistant papers, smudge proof inks,
    A lesson well learnt, swollen dreams.
    I wanted to paint the world, with stories of my heart,
    To reduce the pain, ten-fold, but the paper
    Burnt and awakened the hums of the devil,
    And turned into inadequate phrases of betrayal,
    Lust and defeat.

    /The paper laments my tainted emotions and the skies miss the sun, awakening it's sights. Regrets pile up into lightning, falling down, tonight, and I sit here, hoping to get struck with them all over again/
    ©ridhiiii

  • ridhiiii 18w

    The rainbow has faded,
    Into an abyss of broken dreams
    Sugar coated with stolen lies,
    Of crooked smiles and one-sided romance.
    The stars decorating ornaments of
    Dots and dashes, in the cloudy sky,
    You were my only star, in these devilish nights,
    My ray of light.

    Hidden beneath the surface of my skin,
    Were the lyrics of your gravelly voice
    Those which you sung out loud,
    Effacing the demons in my sleep.
    Our silence, spoke throughout the night,
    As our hands intertwined, and bodies cuddled,
    Lost in your honey brown eyes,
    I overlooked the lies, in your sweet whispers,
    Delicately wrapping you, in my arms and poetries,
    Forever didn't seem like a myth anymore.

    And suddenly,
    You pulled your hand away,
    When I had a bad dream last night,
    And told that you didn't love me anymore,
    I begged you to stay, I didn't want to drown
    All over again,
    But you slammed the doors to my heart,
    Without any reason, and locked the remains,
    On your way out. Today,
    I saw you, with her,
    The girl you told me, not to worry about,
    At our spot, you showed her the clouds,
    And brushed the hair off her cheeks
    Her laughter skipped your heartbeat,
    While mine, unravelled faded butterflies
    In your belly, I cried because you changed.
    The whole of you disappeared,
    You became a guy,
    I never really knew.

    Across the crossroads, tonight,
    Where you said an 'I love you' for the first time,
    I stand beside the graveyard of our memories,
    Wondering,
    Sometimes when people say forever,
    Why don't they actually mean it?

    Ps. Repost with slight edits.
    That was temp, so is this.
    Words refuse to leave my mind. They're hidden in my conscience.

    Aww, thanks @writersnetwork(17) it means a lot!��❤️

    Read More

    Does the pain of a broken heart ever stop,
    Or does your brain, quench your heart, of love,
    For taking all the wrong decisions,
    Again and again.
    ©ridhiiii

  • ridhiiii 19w

    I'm gonna use this line on a human, someday��

    Read More

    Sunshine feels great,
    But I think it's a little faded,
    When compared to your smile.
    ©ridhiiii

  • ridhiiii 19w

    Liked the prompt way too much but this is temp.
    #start
    @writersnetwork

    Read More

    Your smile looks like a crescent moon,
    Swallowing crumbled pieces of poetry and
    Rebirthing new synonyms of effulgent laughter,
    Like a blanket of hope, bleeding art, on a dark day,
    Pouring moonshine and stardust into my pale skies.
    ©ridhiiii