redneckwriter69

51 Mom/Nanny love life.. live life �� fam�� Dv & Narcissist Abuse Survivor ���� Kid Rock

Grid View
List View
Reposts
  • redneckwriter69 3d

    "The Wall Of Fear"
    9-7-2020


    Sometimes the wall is my only friend
    It's there when no one else is
    It holds me and my tears
    It comforts me til the end of my sadness
    My tears are flowing more then anyone can help
    I need someone but no one is there
    But the wall it's reached for me
    Let me cry on it and holds my heart
    When it breaks so
    I don't know if I'm gonna make it thru the pain and sadness I'm in
    I pray all the time I never stop
    It's hard to hold on to a promise
    That sometimes takes awhile
    But I try to have faith and hold on
    I talk to god while the wall holds me
    So many tears have been shed
    Storm after storm I have barely
    Been afloat
    When someone gona be the wall
    Be the one who catches my tears
    Hold my heart, hold me ..
    ©redneckwriter69

  • redneckwriter69 3d

    "Demons of a Monster "
    4-17-2021


    I can't seem to outrun
    These demons in my head
    I often wonder what it
    Would be like dead
    Away from the judgement
    Of the world and hatred
    Of a heart so badly broken
    Can't deal or function
    Half the time I'm not even here
    I'm outta my head with grief
    Pain and being ashamed
    I can never pay for my sins
    Demons run round my head
    Like a a race track or a course
    Never stopping unless I'm silent
    Sleeping but am I sleeping
    I'm actually running for my life
    Or for my life scared I'm cracking
    With no ledge or not safety zone
    Why did this have to be
    What did this happen to me
    A horror so strong it never stops
    The world sees me a monster
    Never to reform or change course
    I'm not this person but I am this
    Person , been denying my whole
    Life who I really am I am the monster I was broke many years
    Ago failing at life ever since ...
    I'm sorry I'm not here I've left
    My mind years ago .........




    ©redneckwriter69

  • redneckwriter69 3d

    Betrayal of a Heart
    4-11-2021


    I broke ur trust it's true
    I failed myself and you
    I chipped a piece away
    From ur heart yesterday
    U loved me honestly alot
    I was blinded and not
    Truthful to myself or you
    My pain and emotions blue
    I deserve ur anger and hurt
    I regret my choices and learnt
    My lesson painfully and hard
    For ur honesty to me are
    Most important my love
    My life my heart are above
    All things yours to have forever
    Will you have me again i'll never
    Betray ur trust, heart love again
    I'll stick and stand by u , and urside to the very End.

    Dedicated to someone very special to my heart

    ©redneckwriter69

  • redneckwriter69 4d

    "Survival "
    4-17-2021


    Waves in my head are starting to
    Play dead sensors malfunction
    I search for peace does it exist
    For me I don't understand life
    Why pain seems to always find
    I'm burning alive inside
    Struggling everyday to survive
    I don't want to be here anymore
    In my head feeling failure
    Nothing is left for me except
    A child's love and laughter
    Long ago I heard I broke that
    Piece by piece because of my stupidity and just simply an idiot
    Tales of my life aren't good
    There tarnished and broke
    Been cracking all along
    I hid the pain for years
    Forcing back my tears
    I can't anymore I'm drowning
    In the tears I cry often
    I don't know which way to turn
    To make better somthing that
    Has no solution no ending
    I cant be fixed or mended

    ©redneckwriter69

  • redneckwriter69 2w

    "Tabitha"

    Dedicated to my daughter
    By: SkWilliams 4-5-2021

    She's is bold like the storms
    That run the sky and powerful rain
    She is brave like the soldier at war
    She's withered fire and pain & more
    Weakest moments bring her down
    Crashes like the ocean on the rocks
    Happiest smile that brightens
    The site of everyone that can see
    Protector of many and strong
    Sometimes all along not knowing
    She is human and gets low
    Fear sets her back but she pushes
    On not letting go wishing it
    Was done , inside her scares & scars
    Tense but making her tougher
    But she pushes she see the fight inside also , strength pulls her out time & time again whethering
    The storms that get bad within her
    She didn't know she could make it
    But we knew she wouldnt take it
    From that the strips her emotions
    Making the mood high and low
    But she will beat it and grow .....

    Love Mom


    ©redneckwriter69

  • redneckwriter69 3w

    " Deceiving Prisms "

    By: SkWilliams 3-31-2021

    All my life has been jaded
    Hidden behind the prisms
    Of reflection that showed
    What you wanted to see
    Inside blinded by the truth
    Memories are shaken behind
    Where you were found crying
    Through on nightmares of lies
    And deceit creating behind
    The prisms , images of your reality
    What you thought was your reality What happened it was your pretty
    Little cozy and warm and bright life
    Your eyes were covered always
    The prisms hid the memories
    The colors were dark and pretty
    Not knowing what lay behind
    Regret now has surfaced
    Not able to right the wrongs
    Because damage was put upon
    At one time that broke the image
    Of a once beautiful and loving thing
    It stood strong and sturdy
    Solid ground always made a smile
    Seeing it , it was hard not to like
    The images , showed the light
    The prisms took over ..
    ©redneckwriter69

  • redneckwriter69 3w

    Broken Words By: SkWilliams

    Why no more do I be
    What's wrong with me
    Why do you break me
    What's your gain to win
    Inner strength is leading
    Your strong arms prying
    At me am I free where do
    I belong , broken soul
    Not Understanding grief
    He came and stole like
    A thief in the night blinding
    My eyes trying to deceive me
    Breath strengthens me
    Fight to belong and become
    Flowering and shedding
    Old and the new you
    Wings white so pure
    Surround me fighting
    Landing close protects me so
    I don't understand
    This someone tell me
    What's to happen
    What's to become
    My words are shoved
    Down far as far can be
    Sending but do not
    Comply understand but
    Fear , will I win the battle
    It's continues to live and
    Breath fire the flames are
    Getting by sliding thru
    The cracks and cuts in
    My heart wanting to
    Break free from a shell
    That inside me I've lost
    Precious things that
    Held me each day
    Connection so strong
    ©redneckwriter69

  • redneckwriter69 3w

    Life Slipping Away

    Installed fear within my soul
    I'm struggling to keep control
    Swerving and weaving your love
    Once beamed bright above
    I'm dying inside nobody knows
    I can't breath without you
    Anymore my mind is blue
    I don't want to try anymore
    Your gone you entered the door
    To heaven's gate and left me sore
    Painful tears stream gently down
    I'm always looking for you all around
    I'm lost without you I have no purpose
    Misery is playing with dangerous
    My heart is broken in pieces tiny cracking
    More each day against the wall backing
    Closing in around me pushing me down
    Feeling trapped within losing ground
    Help me I'm fading into silence no sound
    Hoping in a single stride and bound
    To find me whole but thats not true
    Because I'm forever lost without you...
    ©redneckwriter69

  • redneckwriter69 4w

    Demonic Mentions
    3-22-2021
    By: SkWilliams


    Demons running loose holding me against
    The broken pieces of me flying away
    I'm becoming cold numb inside
    Soon I'll be hidden not to ever
    See the shame I feel grabbing at nothing
    No one to hold me ever again there stronger
    Each day they talk to me seeing me for who I am
    Embers burn brighter in the flames that consume me
    Words cutting harder the actions
    So much never be known to the ones
    They can't see for I am hidden now seeping into
    A journey that won't be returning after it's gone
    The rode is long and dusty from burried in the ground
    Was once a rolling stone that freely loved within ..
    ©redneckwriter69

  • redneckwriter69 4w

    I wrote this year's ago for my angel grandson peanut and my daughter Tabitha

    Read More

    Nannys Joy
    3-27-15
    By : Sandi K Williams


    Peanut you were here for such a short time my heart was so full of joy and you brought an ease to my mind you were loved from the beginning to the very end it didn't matter if u were a girl or a boy I wish I could have seen you and get to know and seen you grow you always have a special place in Nannys heart it's true there is a a lot there too know God keeps you safe and makes u smile and thru heaven u walk a mile to watch over and look down on us daily you see our hearts break and how we miss u much to hold you and feel the touch of a sweet baby angel who came and brought us love straight from heaven above one day we will see you again it's true because God needed another angel in blue he had to take you away and knowloved from the beginning to the very end it didn't matter if u were a girl or a boy I wish I could have seen you and get to know and seen you grow you always have a special place in Nannys heart it's true there is a a lot there too I know God keeps you safe and makes u smile and thru heaven u walk a mile to watch over and look down on us daily you see our hearts break and how we miss u much to hold you and feel the touch of a sweet baby angel who came and brought us love straight from heaven above one day we will see you again it's true because God needed another angel in blue he had to take you away and know nanny and mommy and will see you one day and always know that nanny loves you .
    ©redneckwriter69