It was just another day when I was randomly checking post on mirakee, But now when I look back and think about that day I realise it was a damn special one Because that day someone special had liked and commented on my post And the special person is none other you dear Arya (Aru angel).
I was very happy to have a new reader and being the curious person I immediately clicked on your profile to get to know you. You were new here and had few posts. Your write ups left me in awe. Those posts were enough for me to understand that you are a flawless writer and a great thinker.
Your posts have a magical power to cast a spell on everyone reading them. Your pen always write wonders and it has a thing which always attract readers like magnet.
You have always inspired me in many ways may it be your post or just a random talk. You are a hard-working person and very determined towards your goals. You are a kind soul and have a heart as pure as an angel. You are an amazing friend and a fantastic human. You are the solution to all my problems.
Angelllll @arya_abhipsa Where are you?????????? Finally today we are sharing the same age Remember the day we got to know this we were so happy. So today it's your second birthday which we are celebrating together As you know I'm really bad at wishing birthday's so I just jotted down our memories and my emotions. I hope you like it ❤️❤️❤️
Heya How are you all?? I know you guys must be doing great ☺️☺️ And no I'm not back but just wanted to take a break from the real world so I came to peek here. Sorry for not replying to your comments on my previous post and I guess I won't be replying you all today as well so again sorry for that. But please do shower your love on my posts and keep supporting me and I promise that I'll be back by mid of June ❤️❤️.
[So on the occasion of completing the first anniversary of our chat room we decided to dedicate this post. Thank you @ak_anjali_daydreamzz for coming up with this wonderful theme of ARMY ROOM. And please forgive me if I don't do justice to the theme but still I'm trying and please do let me know if there are any corrections] @thesunshineloves@the97_introvert please come back I'm eagerly waiting for your posts @fairytales_ love your post is much awaited. #ARMY_ROOM#BTS#first_anniversary
The walls painted white and purple BTS group photo from festa 2020 hanging on the wall just opposite the door as it's the first thing I love to see. And just beside that a frame of me with my friends makes my smile even wider.
A room which was once filled with darkness Now is full of hope brighter than sunshine. The rays of sunlight now beams in my room Through the window with the lavender curtains.
Besides that is the table a flower vase placed on it carrying jasmine flowers spreading its fragrance all around the room, a few BTS albums and an army bomb. Study table attached thereto has all the motivational and inspiration statements given by our 7 men's driving me towards my goals making me work harder.
And there in the middle of the room is a single bed. A guitar by my bed side the strings when played delivers me in a heavenly place and a soft panda on my bed my all time partner. Having a small piano has always been a wish. As music is the only thing which gives me peace.
While speaking of music We are bulletproof playing in the background fills my eyes with an ocean full of tears Slowly drifting me to sleep and transporting me to my dreamy land of 7 Men's. -- Redheart ❤️
So my dearest amies this is how my ARMY ROOM looks like .
When dad is scared to let you go out at night, And mom doesn't permit you by saying "It's not safe for girls to be out at night." Hiding your tears And understanding their reason for doing the same Is what I consider to be brave.
Wearing the clothes you love and being mocked for the same Still not compromising with yourself And being dressed as per your wish Is what I consider to be brave.
When your relatives try to suppress your dream By suggesting you to tie a knot with a stranger. Deciding not to give up on your goals And shutting up their mouths By achieving your dream job Is what I call being brave.
When returning from late night shifts And being given a character certificate by society But not paying any heed to them And continue doing your work Is what I consider to be brave.
When society says Boys will be boys and defend their acts Tell them how they failed to protect the dignity of their girls. Confront them and making them realise their mistakes Is my definition of being brave.
When you are alone Surrounded by pairs of lustful eyes Still not showing a single sign of being scared And standing there looking in their eyes Is what I consider to be brave.
Where girls are always taught To think about their husband and his family first And then about their self. Moving out of the toxic relationship Where your self esteem is hurt Is what I consider to be brave. --Redheart ❤️
There maybe some mistakes please bear with me I shall rectify them later
I wanna be with you round the clock, But then I think I wouldn't have a personal space, a ME time. I want you to know every single thing happening in my life, At the same time I don't like anyone invading my privacy. I want to embrace you in my arms as tight as I can But I'm scared I would feel suffocated. I wanna find peace in your eyes, But then if you would go out of my sight, don't you think I would feel restless. I wanna lend you my heart, The thought of you breaking it, makes me feel devastated. I wanna be happy with you forever, Hmm wait does happily forever exist in real life?? I wanna love you with everything I have, What if in this process, I forget my own identity and how to love myself?? So darling, be careful as you are riding a rollercoaster named love, Because the girl you love is a paradox. - Redheart ❤️
*Ahem Ahem*.. Hi, he--y, Actually this is the first time I'm gonna talk to you people so I'm kinda nervous please bear with me for next few minutes. Let me first introduce myself, Hello everyone, my name is White, yes yes you heard it right I'm White. You all know me very well and I'm sure I'm lying in your wardrobe in the form of T-shirts, shirts, dress, tops, salwaar suits, sarees and what not. By now I think you all must have got the idea who I am, right?? And those who still couldn't guess I won't pester you much I'll tell you all who I'm, I'm colour white. I basically represent peace, purity and innocence. I'm greatly associated with simplicity and perfection. I love to make people feel good, provide hope & clarity by refreshing & purifying your mind. And my top most priority is to make everyone feel appreciated and valued. But sadly you people consider me boring ☹️. I don't come in your favourite list most of the times . But I wanna tell you guys that you are such a hypocrites, on one hand you think of me to have a heavenly presence and on the other hand you consider me unattractive. Okay I will accept the boring tag given by you people. But you have to agree on one thing, I do play an important role in all religions. In Christianity, bride's prefer to wear me during their wedding. I feel joyous to be a part of their memorable day. In Hinduism, people wear me when they are mourning. Hmm I know here I'm a part of devastating day but still I feel good as here they wear me as a symbol of peace and hope for a new and better beginning. The only problem I've is when I'm forced upon the girl who lost her husband. They are not allowed to wear any colour except me. She isn't called for any happy going ceremony as she is considered as bad omen and this is the only thing I feel sad about. But this is changing slowly and slowly, so I hope one day they can live freely and not freely but with respect. As I said above some people consider me as an pleasant colour and some umm, some don't even consider me as colour. Even I was confused that, I was a colour or just a shade. Some people even argue on this topic I bet that you people can argue without a topic. So science came up with a theory and stated me as a "Shade" and not colour.
Hmm so this is my story and my role in your life. Oops I think I talked a lot. It's always like this at first I'm shy to talk but then once I feel comfortable I go on and on and on. So I'm stopping now and I hope I didn't bore you .... Bye bye I'm taking your leave ...
My world crashed down the moment They bought her home wrapped in a bloodstained cloth, Even though knowing it few minutes before I didn't want to face that harsh reality, All those live images of our sweet moments Flashed in front of my eyes;
The way she had called me "Mumma" For the first time in her mellifluous voice, The way she used to irritate me when I cooked, The way she used to make faces to make me smile After getting scolded from me, The way she used to sleep in my lap After finishing her homework, The way she made me chase her Around our garden while she played, Every single moment was live and fresh in front of me;
I wasn't crying Neither I was feeling anything, I was just standing still near the open door, Then I saw her Right in front of me, Laughing and calling me to come out with her, I stretched my hands to reach her But she disappeared, Something hard as an arrow pierced my heart, I felt blood getting sucked out from my body, Then suddenly everything went black.................
When I opened my eyes Everything was blur, I put my hands over my chest And then on my face, My heart was beating and I was breathing alive, Then suddenly something stuck my mind, "Where is my angel?" I asked them, But no one had any answer of my question, They all were staring at me blankly, All I remembered was the words she had told me last When I was busy cleaning the house, "Mumma I'm going to find my doll" My mind was on ripples, "Did the doll take my angel with her?!"
Plots like this keep coming in my mind. I wanted to add a picture as the bg :/ ________________________________________________
It's raining outside and I'm home early today. Being just three of us home, everything is always kept neatly at place like a brand new home. I'm glad my girl is a tidy kid unlike me. Mom used to scold me so much and I, I never learnt. No matter how organised everything felt in my head, I was and I am, utterly a mess. As I sit on the couch, Pax comes running on my lap and starts licking the back of my hand. “Here, here! Did you miss me? Your friend will be back home soon”, and I pat his head. Such a kid.
They both had a good time last night, going through the photo album which is still lying on the table. I open it, I don't know for which time but it still feels so fresh. These memories never get old nor does this first, ten years old photograph. Me as the little girl beside my parents, holding my little girl in my arms standing right outside the adoption centre. I was too happy to stop and look for any better background to capture the moment. It's okay, I edited the centre name as if it was never there. Edited it from my heart as well, the moment I called her mine. It's raining, inside too. I waited for years and it didn't take much for her to make me cry happy tears every single day since the day she arrived in my life with her little steps. My angel. I wipe my tears closing the album. This rain makes everything gloomy in some way and I don't like this feeling. I take a look at the door and then back outside the window. Something is feeling off today. I close my eyes feeling the coolness in the air settle on my closed eyelids. Today there's again some chaos in this peace. I can feel it. Right here. And I place a hand on my chest. Slightly towards left.
Before my mind starts playing the movie of the happy memories of my life to calm my heart down, the bell rings. I forget everything and stride towards the door. With a wide welcoming smile, I open the it and to my surprise, she isn't even wearing a slight curve on her face. Sitting down on my knees I open my arms wide but she walks past me. I realise she doesn't smile playing in my arms for hours and hours anymore. I smile to see the negligibly older version of my little girl. I close the door and turn around to see her sitting on the couch with her hands folded and cheeks fluffy red with anger. I giggle quietly. You don't get to see such an adorable sight often so I'm just standing here, sightseeing. After a few minutes for her seeking me from the corner of her eye , I ask “Had a bad day at school?” She doesn't say a word. “Fought with your bestie?” Now this silence seems quite worrisome. “What's wrong?” I ask offering her a strawberry. “Where's he?” She asks folding her hands tighter. “Oh! He's there in sniffing your new tees. He loves the fragrance of new clothes. You know right!” I reply with a slight laugh. “I'm not asking about doggo, Mumma!” She yells. And the next moment her eyes soften along with her body. “I..” She stops with a sigh. I go near her and breaking the fold, I take her hands in mine. “Tell me about it na” I say with a smile. I know who she is asking about and I don't want her to say it but her keeping it in will be worse. She holds my hands back “Today my friends were asking about my father again, mumma. Those stupids want to know about him and I feel more stupid to not know anything about him. Where is he? Why isn't daddy with me like all their dads?”
Not this again... Weeks go by without this topic but once in a blue moon she has to talk about it. “I've told you about him staying in far away country for office work na? Didn't you tell your friends about it?” “I forget everytime about this. I forget things when I'm sad. I'm sorry.” I hug her caressing her hair. “Hey! It's fine okay? Even I forget things hehe.” “Does he forget to call me either?” We part from the hug and suddenly I feel heaviness take over the chaos. “He isn't allowed to use mobile phone there you know. Otherwise how will he forget to listen to your sweet voice huh?” There's silence hitting the walls and there's his voice singing in my head. Once... I wish I could call him once. Not for myself but just to make him talk to her. I won't ever. I know both of them well. I know the way he'll talk and how she'll get attached to him in a single call. It'll be like two friends talking. She'll ask for a call again and again and I won't be able to break her heart by denying. He's living his own life and I shouldn't bother him either. And what if she addresses him as daddy? No! This will be a disaster for sure. I brush the thoughts away and tell her “You know, he's like you! Having big happy eyes, a big nose, a peaceful smile and um... sensitive to tickling!” I start tickling her and stop to wipe her tears which flowed when she laughed aloud. Her smile is gone within moments and she walks away towards the closed window.
“I miss him even when my friends don't talk about him. I miss him everyday, mumma.” She says this with a cracking voice while drawing one small and two big human stick figures and a four legged oval shape on the dewy window. I smile seeing the small one standing near one of the big one. It's her daddy for sure. I smile seeing someone so close to her even after being so far. Someone she has never seen, met or talked to, ever. A kind of hatred for myself seeps in my heart for putting her in such situation. But what can I do? How am I supposed to tell her that there's no daddy? She's too young to understand my sorted messy life. All I can do is shower both mother's and father's love upon her, all by myself. Something better than nothing for my everything.
I walk towards her, lean and place my chin on her shoulder, holding her from behind with one hand and placing the other on the window glass. “Do you love him?” I ask. “Yes, I do” Her voice, it's always so merry but when she's sad, my heart starts aching hearing her sad voice. “More than me huh?” I ask trying to be a bit dramatic. She lets go off a few moments and then places her warm little palm on my hand. She's the holder of every feeling I possess now. All the love, peace, happiness and warmth. Warmth. She's that sun peeking from behind the clouds after years of gloomy rainfall all over my soul. She's warmth to my winter. “No. I love you both. Equal equal. ” She passes me a sad smile and keeps staring out again at the nest with a bird family. I don't want her to learn this from me but she is anyway. “Do you want to know a secret?” Her eyes light up hearing me ask this and her curious grip tightens on my hand as she whispers a yes. “You know, he loves you too.” I force a wide smile and I'm feeling it's contagiousness as she smiles too. “Does he?!” She exclaims turning around and throwing her arms around my neck. “Yes, he does!” She hugs me tightly. ‘I'm sorry. I'm sorry for today and I'm sorry for the day you'll be heartbroken knowing your mumma lied to you. You'll understand me na? Please do. Please.’ It seems like I'm repeating this for the hundredth time in my mind. “But.. I don't know if he does.. he never told me..” Her words and eyes filled to their brim, both are questioning. “He told me so once and now I'm telling you na” I kiss her tears away. “It isn't true” she says and starts crying. I have no idea how long she's been keeping all this in. “Hey! Listen please. Cry it out but just know that he loves you alot girl. He really does! You know his letters for you say the same!” I keep caressing her hair and back. Again and again. “His letters?” she wipes her tears herself this time. “Yes! His letters. He writes to you once in a while but I wasn't getting any chance to give them to you dear. I've kept them safe hehe.” She's really pissed at me right now but I know she'll keep it aside and ask me for those letters. “Where are they? Show me!!” “Wait for me and I'll be right back with those letters, okay?”
Letters. From the day she entered my life, every month I've wrote a letter for her. Two letters everytime, one from me and one, on his behalf. I know how it feels like to be almost loved by him. I'm too familiar with his thoughts, his way of talking, his soul which I carry along and him. To write on his behalf was never a difficult task but adding ‘love’ in the letters was. I'm a stranger to his love but I've managed to write those letters with love. These childhood days are meant to be the happiest days of her life and I'll do everything I can to keep her happy. These letters are just one of those things. My legs are feeling so heavy with each step I'm taking towards that happy soul. I have to make this letter upto her today, anyhow. “Here you go. ” She takes the letter from my hand and starts reading it aloud as I stand there, shivering. It takes alot to lie to the loved ones. It's still not easy even after doing the same for life. “There is my birthdate on the top!” She almost jumps smiling.