Meet me, A hypothetical Princess of an unknown kingdom far far away. My daily routine consists of obsessing over the weight of life's problem and doing nothing about them, meanwhile waiting for my Actual Prince Charming to appear from the void that is life. My diet consists of blood of happy people, plus the flesh of down-trodden. Also I don't mind eating the heart of healthy men and women alive. And oh wait, my secret workout to keep my sulking and degenerating body in shape is to tread tirelessly in the long forgotten and forbidden hallways of memory. Did I miss anything? If you want to ask any further questions about my personal life, there's a whole procedure to this. On sunday night, in the most dark room, where there is not even a single hint of light, you have to sit in the middle, and recite the following lines out loud:
"Oh wretched princess, of Kingdom of Anxiety and Depression All hail to your abominable presence I, your mighty follower, announce myself as your servant Bless me with this eternal gloom And answer my morose questions"
And I will be there to guide you through the darkness and woebegone landscape of my kingdom.