All I hate is being in love, am I too difficult? loving someone with all your heart, not knowing when and which way of life they will leave you all alone? And then you just don't want them back!, the way once you didn't want to let them go. All I can see is hesitate, anxiety, suspicion, anger, tears-cries, aching, heart breaking, scattered pieces of promises?! All i know is this feeling, there is all silent from the outside, but there is some sort of storms, make me trembling all alone!,
All I know is that i don't want you back, if am having some shreds of self respect!?, you are an ignorant, don't know my heart, am too eager to run afar! Coz u don't know how to respect your love, all you know is your money, your charm!
"I was a fool, fallen for you " "Hated the things, what I do" "u sure r handsome, excellent apart But all you were doing was breaking my heart " U r good at talking Am I your cigar? Y r u burning me Silently, Tell me who u r? Who u r?
Searching for laugh,without some cries? Le'me explain the importance of ditches and dries! How could you explain the happiness of light Without being in dark Is it alright? Choking by the words, I speak, I try Sunlight is necessary Even if the trees are dry, How could I go back that way? Without cutes, clashes and cries? My stomach is aching Now there are no butterflies! All timid and submissive Like some knot tightening Inside Am I dying? And I die!?
Lying here, amidst the darkness of my room feel so save with my heart aching for love,beams of light from the room next to mine surpasses through the curtains of my window, it seems like they try to convey something, a message? Lying on my pillow, make me feel comfortable? With my uneasy heart, and it is trying so hard to beat silently but it is still too hard and fast, loud!yes, it's loud inside and my room is so keep quite,!
Here am lying on my bed, with my mind filling up with your thoughts, little by little, with my eyes closed, my vision is roaming inside my heads on the streets named after you! Idk the address, would you be able to pick me up to.....?
Here i am lying in my room,with fingers on my phn typing something I do not know about! Am I missing you? No, not yet! Still am holding myself to write about something, something, for which, I will not regret! But then again, I don't wanna write a poem, but something the poets says 'disastrous'. Is it love? Is it!!?
जब भी मुझसे कोई लड़की या कोई भी कभी पूछता हैं, "तुम्हें कैसी लड़की पसन्द है", तो मेरे मुख से स्वतः ही तुम्हारी बनावट बयां हो जाती है।
हालांकि तुम्हारी खूबसूरती बयान करना मेरे लिए सम्भव नही है, तुम तो जानती ही हो मैं शब्दों से खेलने में वैसे भी कच्चा हूं और ऊपर से तुम्हारी खूबसूरती को चन्द शब्दो में पेश कर पाना और भी कठिन काम है, फिर भी एक छोटी सी कोशिश कर सकता हूँ, तुम्हारी बड़ी काली आँखें जिनमें मुझे सारा संसार दिखाई देता है तथा जिनकी गहराईयां देखकर मुझे उनमे डूबने का मन करता है, तुम्हारे सुंदर लहराते बाल जो जब भी चेहरे पर आते है तुम्हारी सुंदरता को दोगुना कर देते है, वो भरे हुए गाल जो हमेशा मुझे देखकर लाल हो जाया करते है, वो छोटे से कान जो कई सारे बालो और चश्मे को संभाल कर रखे हुए है, वो कोमल से होंठ जिन्हें तुम गोल कर-कर गुब्बारा बनाकर मेरे लिए फ़ोटो लिया करती हो। सब कुछ बहुत ही सुहावना है जो मेरे विपरीत समय में भी मेरे चेहरे पर हमेशा एक बड़ी सी मुस्कान लाने के लिए काफी है।
जब भी कोई मुझसे पूछता है, "प्यार क्या होता है?", मेरे मुख से स्वतः ही सबसे पहले तुम्हारा नाम निकल जाता है, उसके पश्चात मैं कहता हूं प्यार वो होता है, जो हज़ारो किलोमीटर दूर होने के बाद भी तुन्हें हमेशा साथ रखता है, प्यार दूरी का मोहताज नही, न ही तुम्हारी तरक्की का, प्यार तो वो होता है, जब आप, आप नही "हम" बन जाते हो, जो आपको आप के शरीर में कुछ अंश सामने वाले का दिखला देता है, वो जो आपको किसी चीज़ को पाने का जुनून पैदा कर देता है।
From being with a man who was there in every of my ups and downs to the man who wanted to rip my clothes off to find what I hide inside this fabric . From knowing the man who spoon fed me to the man whom now I spoon fed . From growing up with a man who was curious that why I shriek in pain during menstruation to the man who now know each deep point about my vagina . From walking with a man whom finger I hold to take each step to the man whose finger now I hold to teach him how to take a step. From learning the line that *Men are the protectors and maintainers of women* to the slogan , *Men will be men* I don't remember when I grew up while hanging between these lines "from this man to that man". In these 18 years of my life I observed life of every man who came in my doorstep. And some profound awestrucking phases I learned by observing them are as follows ..
1) THE CRADLE. I don't remember when I first started talking , walking or eating . Nor I remember the most beauteous and memorable moments of my life . But whenever I sit beside my father , he take my hands in his hands . A lovely smile kiss his lips some tears of glee and he says " O my beloved ! It pains me when I think that one day you will leave me alone and just your giggles will be the only melody left for me to stitch all those phases of your life back . From the day I first saw you in your mother's arm peacefully sleeping . I was proud, I am proud and I will be proud to have you as my daughter. When I took you in my arms to the day you saw the first spot of blood . And as others said you started to move far away from me . So that I can't understand what you are trying to keep a secret . But my love how can I not know that one part of my body is in pain? You grew up into a beautiful lady. And now you will be someone's honor. Please never ignore him or leave him . Whoever he will be . You don't know how much we men hide that if we start saying this all out aloud maybe the mountains will melt into the river of tears. Not every man is same my dear." Time moved on and with the grace of Almighty . He blessed me with a brother . The little munchkin who played in my arms . Cry when fall or get hurt . Whom I teach each syllable and metaphor to make a structure of a poem. Grew up into a serious person . Sometimes his aura even scares my soul. The boy who cry his all problems out on my shoulders . Now his shoulders are this much high that I can't reach his height. But yeah , it's not his mistake . My parents and the people threw stones of words on him . Whether he achieved something or he failed. They always tried to show him that he is not worth it. Sometimes I think the same words my father said to me he can say them to him as well . Listen to his thoughts , problems . The body changes he is going through. He can't share this all with my mother like I do. Nor he can share with another man. Even little words of kindness can motivate him. But no one tried and slowly he stopped sharing his things with anyone. Gulping his problems he burped out sighs of nihility.
2) OUR BUSINESS SECTION. "Most alpha particles passed straight from the gold foil which implied that atoms are mostly composed of open spaces. Some alpha particles were deflected, suggesting slightly interactions with other positive charged particles with in the atom." (Rutherford atomic model)
Most alpha(men) when step out of their homes their first attraction is the beauty of a place. Even if they will go for an interview. Rather than thinking about their own clean appearance mostly their mind is about how the interior of the place is or how much income they will get, meanwhile some men are different from others rather than looking around the vivid description or income of that place they think to do what they are comfortable in their little world, Where their thoughts give different aspects on our business section. Though we think that men don't give any efforts anywhere but they are the pillars due to whom our houses are still standing upright. They are respect worthy .
3) MEN WILL BE MEN. This slogan which we all read everywhere. This is the cause of indifference between genders. Not every man is same. People have made their minds this much narrow. That in each colloquy men are roasted. I have seen girls who shiver on the word man. Not because someone has raped them but because they have been taught that men are animals . They can rip their souls off. Even they don't trust their own brother and father. In this world there are two types of people good and bad. If a man can rape , flirt a woman can also do the same . Many cases has been reported about a woman molesting a man . Little boys are being raped by old woman . I'm not saying that the rapist are good people . I'm just saying that before being a man and a woman we are humans . I don't follow feminism or meninism. I follow humanity . So be kind even men have a heart beating behind those scars.
4) CONCLUSION. A man is an infrastructure of love , kindness , bravery , feelings and wisdom. Also he as a human cry , feel , get hurt , pain erupt in his veins , little things also hits him at wrong spots , he also have mood swings. But , he conceal all these emotions under a doughty veil. He cwtch thorns to protect flowers (women). ___________________________ It is not to offend any soul . Much respect to everyone. Thank you so much for reading this.
Pehle ka ishq.... Dheere dheere, haule haule Pehle aankhon se aankhein milti thi. Ek aadh mahine sirf yehi chalta. Phir kahin chehre per pyar waale positive expression. Phir 2 mahine baad poore jism mein current daudta tha. Aur phir jo Ghazab ka surror chadhta tha Toh kambakht utarta hee nahi tha. Chaahe jaan hee kyun na chali jaaye. Badi himmat kerke aur gehre pyar mein pad ker kahin jaaker mooh se nikalta tha... "Suniye ji, hum aapse behadd mohabbat kerte hain." Ab result jo bhi ho
Modern ishq Aankhein chaar. Chadha viral bukhaar(jo guaranteed 2 din mein utar jaana hai) But fast track you know, time nahi hai bhai. Zindagi choti ho gayi hai aur kaam zyada(ya phir bekaari zyada) Doosre hee din... "Babes jabse tumhein dekha, dil rehta hai behka, lagta hai lou ka jwaala dehka. Kya banogi meri mallika?"
Ab result jo bhi ho
Aur haan ek major difference maloom kya hai. Modern ishq usually chalava hee hota hai, mirage you know. Wo feelings jinko hum ishq samjhte hain, wo actually na ek tarah ka infection arre affection hota hai aur phir jisko hum heartbreak samajhte hain wo sirf uss infection ...oho arre yaar affection ka ek chota sa side effect hota hai. Sorry no offence
Toh bhaiyon aur kisi aur ki behnon, sabse badhiya toh iss bimaari se bacho. Aur agar ishq kerna hee hai toh give it some time to simmer, then see whether it's edible or not. Achcha toh hum chalte hain.....dekhte hain simran ke saath dheere paka khaana kaisa banta hai
2020 has been a rough year for most of us out here. It has been one of my toughest years and it taught me a lot. I have lost people, who are never coming back. I have been mentally disturbed too, and I wanted to write about it but I didn't know how to put it. All thanks to @sangfroid_soul , for her post really showed me that writing about 2020 is not as much of a bad idea as I thought.
Twenty things that I will carry forward from 2020 :
1) People might leave and you might not get a chance to bid the final goodbye. So make sure you are always in some sort of touch with people who matter, else you will spend next years of yours drenched in regret. (I have lost three very close people this year, I wasn't in talking terms with two of them and now when I think about it, I cuss myself in every way possible. I cannot even close my eyes at times.) So always choose your words carefully, so that you don't regret them because you never which of it could be your last conversation with someone.
2) Time spent with family is precious. You are growing older and so are your parents and grand parents. Talk with them whenever you have time, else you will never know when there will be this huge difference in perspective between yours and theirs, which will only make life difficult in coming times for either side. And trust me, you will get to learn something out of every conversation.. for no matter what, they have seen more world than you.
3) What you read and what you watch plays an important part in shaping up the kind of person you are to become. Make sure you choose your read list and watchlist carefully. (Try avoiding salman khan movies)
4) Don't be judgemental. Let people do whatever they want to do, wear whatever they want to wear, eat whatever they want to eat. As long as it is not hurting anyone, let it be. No one is ever completely right, or wrong. Neither are you or them, nor are the ones who preach about right and wrong. Try being empathetic.
5) All of us have our own therapy that helps us calm ourselves down. For me it is painting. It could be writing or cooking or reading or may be anything else for you. Make sure you figure out yours, because it helps a lot. Art can do wonders, it can take your mind and soul to places that you cannot even imagine. Art works better than any medicine.
6) Trust is an important thing. Make sure you don't regret where and on whom you place your trust. People are cruel, sometimes as cruel as you, sometimes even more. Be wise.
7) People might hear a lot, but they listen what they want to listen to, they believe what they want to believe and they see what they want to see. So make sure you tell your story to the right people. For you never know how the wrong ones are going to carry forward the story.
8) We all create stories in our head. We all are the heroes of our stories, but just know that not every story needs a villain. Don't forcefully defame someone and make him the villain just to glorify the hero. Because people love glorifying stories and and they love to hate and criticise. They will hate him more than they will love you.
9) World is a beautiful place, and love makes it more beautiful. Try understanding what love really is. It is not just romantic, it has lots of dimensions to it. Seek for the right kind of love in the right places, life will get easier.
10) Self love is important. Before you try loving somebody, make sure you love yourself in the proper way.
11) There is no perfect time to fall for love. So if love finds its way into your life, embrace it. If it really is love, it is meant to heal you. Don't let it go, you will regret way more than you can imagine.
12) Don't argue with someone who thinks supporting the government makes him a patriot. Just say those three magical words and walk away.
13) Religion plays an important role in our world (specially in my country). Just know that you can love and respect your religion without defaming somebody else's. Don't fall for a political propaganda.
14) What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong. Learn to accept the fact that you can be on the wrong side of things as well, and it is totally alright and you can always apologise.
15) Social media is a beautiful hoax. Never prioritise it. When you are in a moment, live it.. don't waste it by taking pictures after pictures. A picture in your heart is worth a million in your phone's gallery.
16) Stay away from people who make you believe that you cannot be loved. Stay away from those who LOVE TALKING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. Not everyone deserves an explanation. Don't waste your words.
17) Mirakee is one amazing place. It has helped me, and surely to most of it's members in lots of ways. It has helped me get over lots of tough nights, it has helped me write in a way I never knew I could. It is a beautiful habit, but make sure it stays as a habit, try not making it an addiction.
18) After you get through your initial phase in mirakee, you slowly become a part of the family, and that is when the eminence steps in. Make sure you write for yourself, make sure you focus on what you want to write and not what people want to read. This place is like a home to you, and me and lots of others.. keep this place clean.
19) You will come across new people everyday. Just be wise and carefully choose the people who you decide to keep around you (not just in mirakee). Eight out of ten hands are for shaking, not for holding.
20) Covid-19 virus was a curse to the entire world. We all have lost people and time, and life hasn't been much kind in last eight-ten months. Make sure you never forget it or what it has taught you. So that ten years from now when you look back, you can thank 2020 for making you wise and showing you that even the darkest of nights end and life goes on, no matter who or what is left behind.