I know I haven’t been posting lately. I’ve been trying to focus on myself. Trying to understand myself more. I feel like the pandemic had affect my future plans. I wasn’t able to do things that I wanted to do. But it’s okay, I hope this year, I will be able to do something that never done before In’sha’Allah. Now I’m just focusing on school and God. Learning new things about my religion everyday. I tried reading the Quran everyday to gain more knowledge.
Another thing why I haven’t been posting (I know some of you don’t care but I’m telling you this anyway) is because I had decided not to post pictures with my face in it. Well not this account but my main account. Every time I look at the pictures, the more I feel insecure. I used to love taking pictures but it had always made me look ugly. I know that I am a beautiful human being Alhamdulillah. But the photo itself, makes me look different than I actually do. When I post a pic that I thought was cute but when I stare at it a long time, I ended up deleting it. I be like "Ew why do I look like that?” “Why do everybody likes this, this is so ugly” "Why my pictures are not getting enough likes” -And so on. Ever since I stop taking pictures of myself, I became confident. I don’t feel the need to call myself ugly. It’s crazy how just one picture can affect someone's mood. I don’t have to compare myself to anyone else. It feels like breathing in a fresh new breeze. I realized that not everybody needs to see my face. Except for those who already knows me in real life. And this is also because of religious reasons. Also I don’t like to expose my beauty in front of random guys. I never intended to attract people, it just happens. Some guys just fall you just because of your profile or the pictures you've posted of yourself.
So yeah is my way of loving myself and finding out what works for me. I am planning to post new content this year In’sha’Allah. I’m trying to figure out how to organize my posts. But yeah that’s my life update. I know it’s long but it’s worth to read.