• _creatingworldsthatdonotexist_ 15w

    @writersnetwork Muchas Gracias ! (•ө•)♡

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    I did not wish to become like this
    I wished to be everywhere,
    to make every
    leaf my own,
    to lend you a shoulder
    when the sky
    was beginning to rot
    under the weight of false hope
    I do not know
    how many storms
    have taken
    me home and how
    many homes have left me under
    the snow sliding off fir pines
    I don't remember being this way
    Its almost like
    I have forgotten
    what it feels like
    to be comfortable in my skin
    because somewhere
    along my journey,
    I met dirt and it stuck to me like
    i wished you would,
    and then I met thorns
    and I was left
    in my shattered pool of longing,
    and just
    when i thought I'd fallen
    to the deepest ditch
    I possibly could
    I met the wind
    and my pieces flew away,
    ending up miles apart
    until they
    were irretrievable - i was irretrievable
    I do not remember
    how I came here -
    to this archipelago of perpetual gloom
    I am not sadistic,
    But i think
    i just killed
    A part of me
    What did you expect ?
    You will have to
    fly more
    than just your finger
    Give more than a casual thought,
    More than a heedless glance,
    More than a careless breath to
    Move me,
    Resurrect me
    What did you expect ?
    I was born in this mud,
    This filth is mine,
    My roots feed on my insecurities
    How did you think
    I'd be gentle ?
    When i was born in the womb
    Of Destruction,
    Birthed of a neutron star
    And under terraces that
    You avoided
    I embroidered your name
    In the yarn I'd spun
    Did you expect
    I'd not fall in love ?
    Haven't you ever looked
    At your rawness ?
    At how you smile,
    When you talk about
    The things you love ?
    How could i not want
    To be one of those things,
    When you made me belong
    To more than just
    The grime that was my origin
    I'm ancient
    I swear
    If i saw you again
    I'd start believing
    In the quaint universe
    I abandoned
    When i was 5
    Under the feathers
    Of an angel yet to fly
    There's something I have
    Stopped looking for
    Because on a day
    Very like this
    I'd owned it too
    And a little girl sat
    Staring at the cloudy caricatures
    Painting me in her mind
    But it was only until I flew
    That I owned it
    For there's something in the air
    That's hostile
    And in its vicinity
    My dreams
    Give way to afflictions
    And love
    Turns a shade I am
    Not meant to wear
    One day I'll invite
    You to my table
    For i want you to see war
    I want you to shed tears
    You'll see fragility break its bones
    And let me tell you
    the brook under your feet ~
    It abounds in vivid memories
    That have bled
    Guilt is the only jewellery
    My folklore likes draping
    And when I'm asleep
    I fear
    I'll never wake up
    And I'm unhappy
    And disturbed
    By how long i can go on
    If you asked me
    What i don't like about myself
    On most days
    My rants make more sense
    Than my truth
    If i spill
    You'll stain
    For I'm the wine
    That won't leave you
    With a hangover
    I'll hook onto
    Your loneliness
    And so,
    I'll stay forever