• _aradhya 36w

    To
    The guy I wish to forget

    In the drunk nights where I'm surrounded with vodka and pieces of my heart, I curl up to the left side of my bed (where you usually slept) and can still smell your cologne even though I've washed the bedsheet so many times. I guess I need to change it but I don't. This thought always comes to my mind during the day and changes during the night. So I end up not changing the bedsheets.

    The whole day can pass by in conversations and listening to other people going through heartaches and helping them move on. But as night slowly starts to embrace me, I find out that I can help others move on because I know all too well how it feels to be stuck. You see, it's been months but I'm still used to you coming home and wrapping your arms around me. However after some time, I felt the distance too.

    I knew our end was near. Maybe I've been hurting from the time when you were not that far away from me, physically. Maybe I felt the space that surrounded you and me. Maybe I felt how 'us' changed into 'you and me'. This spacing between the words and each letter, I felt it.

    I missed you even though you were there. Things become worse, when I am the one who ended things and I'm the one who is, feeling the effects of it and unable to move on from simple things I loved about you, the small details. And I am the only one, because you obviously don't feel the breakup anymore.

    I'm just another chapter to you, maybe the one not worth going back to, not the one worth reading, and I saw it all too clearly when someone among our common friends happened to bring up you and your new lover. And you had the same look. You know, the one you had when someone brought up me. I saw you blush at her name the way you blushed at mine.

    I saw you see her the way you saw me. And that is when my heart completely broke.

    It's even sad, because it's not just the drunk nights when I think about you now. It's the sober ones as well. And now in the conversations too, I feel you. While helping someone to mend their heart, I feel you. When someone comes and confesses to me about their secret crush, I feel you.

    When someone talks about love, I feel you. And a part of me wishes you did too. I'm happy for you, honestly. But I feel sad for myself. For us.

    Oh well, this is another drunk night I'm writing this. I guess I'll just stop because my ink is bleeding blue like my heart which aches and will probably keep aching. However, I wish to find what you found.

    Till then, I'll keep wishing for something I lost.

    I hope you are having a sound sleep with her, take care, keep her because I saw her look at you the way I look at your pictures now. Keep her. She'll keep you too. I genuinely pray for that.
    Goodnight.

    From,
    A girl lost in this forlorn night

    - Aradhya

    Letter after a long time.

    @writersnetwork @mirakee #pod

    @_guts_ I wrote, look.

    @kaetkey Dekh teri playlist ne kya kara.

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    To
    The guy I wish to forget


    Oh well, this is another drunk night I'm writing this. I guess I'll just stop because my ink is bleeding blue like my heart which aches and will probably keep aching. However, I wish to find what you found.

    Till then, I'll keep wishing for something I lost.

    From,
    A girl lost in this forlorn night

    ©_aradhya