Spieler in a Straw Boater
Second hand candy striped jacket
look close enough to see the bullet holes
torn through the fabric that left the last owner both ventilated and vacant.
The new spieler slipped right into it
and hasn't fixed it yet
he's got this higher calling
when he dons the white straw boater hat
raps a gavel on the rostrum
always begins his routine like that.
"Hey you! Yeah you, you young stud!
Whyn't you and your lady walk down these stairs
and worship at the Church of the Underground!!?
It won't cost ya a cent but we got bookies in the back if you wanna place a bet
on slippin through the eye of a needle
play the over/under on angels and pins!
There's no bible son, no cross, no Okie preacher fresh from a tent outside
Lawrence fucking Kansas!
This is the Church of the Underground all we want is your attention...hey,
can you worship in the minor chords?
The reason why I ask you that is,
see, we gotta a guitarista who only grants salvation in runs of E (eternal) Flat
Boy, you won't hear shuffle in C on our aural rosary
and the call and response is to whoever you let it be.
Church of the Underground, son, turning blood into Mogen David wine just a buck 99 and for the sacred price of that
you can watch the holy roller go-go dancers in sequined thongs till closing time where you've cum and gone!
GUARANTEED SALVATION SON!
with a heaping side of fun
mixed with the syncopated rhythm of the revelation, that's some power in your pocket and...
You're not gonna get a better deal that boy, so step up and step in, the only thing you got to lose is feeling shame bout your sins!