D I S T AN C E S
20 October 2020
20 : 37 pm
When I was running past a tender age of 4 towards a bigger 5 , my hair tied lovingly into two pigtails , wearing the soft mittens and woollen sweaters my granny had sewn for like months just to see me covered in her adoration , I was in a phase of my life where warm hugs and tender pecks denied to leave my side for even a minute . I remember a day , when my parents left me at my grandparent's for the old eyes had a deep yearning to stay on their grandchild for some days longer and the worn out , wrinkled skin on the two pairs of hands were tired of waiting for a soft touch of my tiny hands .
In between the memories of my granny , smiling to herself as she poured down gallons of love in my favourite cup cakes and grandpa , rushing towards the grocer's to buy the chocolates I asked for , I still remember a small me , holding the iron railings of the door while my widened pair of eyes , moistened by tears that were about to fall any moment , were looking at dad's passing car , whispering , cause I was always sure mom just knew too well about my emotions and I was sure she would hear me this time too ,
"Don't you love me mama ?"
Between the feeling of love showered on me by my grandparents and that of missing my parents with whom I had shared each minute and every second of the days I welcomed every morning , the latter was just a bit heavier on my heart , you see ?
Now when I look back at those days , scribbled either by my own preserved childhood emotions or by my parent's bedtime narrations , on one of the pages of a diary I've named as M E M O R Y , I realise what I , the little girl back then , connected love with .
D I S T A N C E . It was like those two random words you connect with a wavy colour pencilled line only 'cause you weren't taught what else to connect those two words to . But now , years later , as I've walked along with people who were with me just to make sure I wasn't afraid of walking through the roads of my life , I've realised how little distance actually matters when your hearts have already crossed boundaries just to stay together .
I still remember people patting the heads of the once small girl I was , an exclamation tumbling out of their mouths , "How much you've grown !". Honestly , I have . For once , distance , for me , was a denial for falling for someone . But now , it has become another reason I proudly proclaim how I have happily let my heart travel miles to hold the hands of another heart it has fallen for , making sure it doesn't beat a little too harder while crossing its path of life .
Distance , it actually doesn't matter you know . Believe me , I'm and many others , are still crazy in love with the stars even after learning in our lessons how we will never be granted with the wish to see it a bit closer .