In this ever changing world I don't wanna be a standstill. I don't know but, I still wanna reminisce. I am a prisoner of my past. I work, I do things, I love to try new stuff, I just can't leave. I am a tech lover, I am a foodie, I'll die without art.
But I love to imagine. I also become nostalgic when I listen to oldies. Songs that played when I was a child, mom's favourites - "E sudhu gaaner din"/ "It's a day of songs" , "Ghum ghum chand jhikimiki tara" / "Sleepy moon, twinkling stars" and many more. I listen to them whenever I wanna move back to origin. It lifts my mood. And I don't need remix or newer voices. I am just fine with Hemanta, Sondhya, Nachiketa. I feel travelling fast towards mom even being miles away from home. I still wrap the blanket around myself and listen to Sunday Suspense. I can be rubbing my feet over the sandy shores of Alibaug and still compare the sky in Mumbai to that of Kolkata. Why home is still home! Why the redolence brings me back to square love (don't read one)! The cupidity of reviving the crumbs of time that went past might sound to be foolish. I never said that I have an IQ of 200.
I used to come rushing out of school with the final bells ringing and I miss it. The paper windmills, balloons, rickshaws, school fights ... I miss them all. You'll be surprised to know that I even miss class tests and assignments. I miss the Games period. I miss the recess. I miss waking up early to dad's scolding. I miss everything so damn much.
" Neer choto khoti nei, aakash toh boro" literally translates to "Tiny is nest, doesn't matter, vast are the skies" means a lot. I might not be rich, I might not be great, I might not be the ruler, I might not own the world but why do I need to? I am happy with all that I have. With this I didn't say, I won't be trying any more. But at any stage if someone sees me and says "You look really stressed out", I would answer them in a way that there's a smile hidden even in this stress. Life might start becoming achromatic once in a while but I hum a tune, dance like a child and start afresh.
These days I look drowsy and sometimes I drawl. I gasp for breath with a bad dream. I hug my pillow tight, kiss it, ask from it to be with me even if my breath fools me and I cry eventually bed-wetting with tears, haha!
Well, well even I know that this isn't a fairyland. I have to work for it. And nothing will come easy. Definitely. In a world of millions, it needs sheer genius to stand out from the rest. And forbearance. Some may call it "sacrifice" too just like gods with different names. Again, enjoying every moment and not tying every day to a damn statistical result helps a lot. Sometimes expectations hit a toll. We humans expect. Umm, tendency. I agree.
"Ami poth bhola ek pothik esechi" - translates to "A vagrant rover, I have arrived". Nothing in nature is absolute. Relativity is the only absolute. If we could win over time, we would've reigned over nature. We never can. This is the only parameter beyond our control. Did you ever think like this? That Time is Godly?
And you can still see it. Humans framed ways to see time. We get a glimpse of it. It passes away. It moves on. It doesn't remember. It doesn't store memories. It doesn't care for you or me. Now you might say, Time is a cobweb, honey. It trapped all of us. If you keep stretching it infinitely, it'll still be as dense as it was before.
I'll soon be over. And I'll enjoy this very moment. Cause even I don't care. Sleep is my drink. What's yours?