• cronosis 39w

    1. Show, don't tell!

    Example: Jack was a short height man with an ugly face. His head was balding and the guy had a fat belly.

    Sounds boring? Yup, it is. It's information. Below is how to show the same data.

    Rewrite: Women never came near Jack for his short height, balding head and the paunch that disabled a direct view of his toes, neither he had a face anyone wanted to wake up to.

    (The emotion of disgust was attached along the data which made it more readable. It could have been funny or grim or any other of your choice.)