I never understood why people take drugs, pills, alcohol or any other intoxicant. Today I realised all of us have a hole inside us. It was not there always. Instead their were memories and secrets, things we hide from the world. Our own little secret World. Then someone starts digging, to find some dirt usually. One after another the perls of memories and horrors of past were scratched out. Even the forgotten once, even the forbidden once.
The people who dig them are your very own. The once you trusted with your lives. Just so they can control you. In the process of controlling and manipulating you they create this wound, this hollow abiss, this hole that sucks the life out of you. You stop trusting, you stop loving, even your own self. The pain build up and there are no cure. No therapy, no medication can save you. It hurts like hell. It hurts probably worse than death.
In those intoxicants we search our salvation. A moment of freedom from pain, guilt and distrust. Reality, the ugly truths of those we trusted with our lives, the cruelty, the hedonistic people ruling our lives like we are some puppets. The control and the manipulation, the honour and the shame.
Today I realised those junkies are not the disease, they are just unjustly mistreated kids, collateral damage, side effects of an ugly society.