it's another day my heart is full. without a gap of air, things stacking in. i wonder how easy would it be, if we could do things as easily as we spoke. it's all dark here and i smile to light up my little world, too big when night settles. the stars of my sky are black and cursed. and staring at them as i breathe my flesh burning down, so am i. how could i not let my eyes turn towards them everytime, when they are all i have to watch. watch them glow, watch them burn. watch them collide and birth a new lot of galaxies midnight. days then, hours staring at them felt like years. and today i stand, my eyes-four years old of embracing the nightsky, blink and it dawns a morning more dangerous than a black sky.
sunlight peeps into me with the golden rays licking my skin warm. but it's the time people know i am awake. they know of my existence again, i get visible. the thought scares me now, the one which i looked forward to the most. yes, it's scary how people only look through their eyes dripping with complains and judgements. how their ugly nails, black sight, cruel horns are revealed to me. and all i can do is watch myself becoming more of them wuth each passing day. i bribe the moon to stay, every night through poems i write to the nightsky with soaking metaphors of pain and heartache. i choke when i breathe daylight and you'll see nightshade caressing me to peace. the secrets i unzip, the night as a blackhole, takes it away and never back. this keeps me on track of thoughts as to where the secrets dumped in? is it in the heart of nightsky, in the centre if every beautiful constellation it echoes? or is it the new stars appearing on my sky every other night? or is it somewhere behind them, a mystery i can solve only when my heart rusts off with more slits?
//and whenever i think i am healing, a larger crack inhales in my heart//