• baddiexmegh 76w

    but then again kinda wish i were dead as time goes by

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    Midnight woes

    There are days which seem soft like velvet, which pass on as easily as a gust of wind on a sunny day. Where smiling doesn't seem too far-fetched and where people do not stand tall against you, adding up to your storm of anxiety. Goldfishes in the glass globe of your desk wade through the blues almost as if they were flying and a smile crosses your face, your eyes glinting with tranquility. Your frail frame seems airy as you walk through a bustling crowd of people and smile at a plump old lady who reminds you of your grandmother. Your pearly whites never duck back into the curtains of gloom and a learned stillness envelopes your skin.

    And there are days which are slow. You feel icky as you have snails crawling across your neck. Days which seem repetitive are very difficult to pull through without falling apart like jenga everytime your shaky fingers pull out a stitch of a wound too raw to be touched. Days where you want to feel nothing but feel so much burning agony in your chest that you just wanna give up. Where the thunder seems to crack your sky open and when the blade cutting your skin doesn't dull the ache in your bones. Your heart feels like it is being pierced by a thousand needles all at once and you crumble as every word people say makes you feel like a burden, an unwanted weight in this lonely world.

    Every other day you collapse into a panic room, holding down the yellow kites from sauntering away from you, towards the shining sun. You spend your time standing by the grave of buried past, greedily inhaling lungfuls of life, hoping the ground doesn't crack open. Hoping it doesn't swallow you whole.