• sharmee_m 106w

    27/07
    Ugh! This lockdown shmockdown!!

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    Extrovert

    It's been a whole day, a 24-hour-period, that I haven't gotten a single meme sent by any of my friends on Instagram. They just double-tapped my last message and left. Huh!
    I have been left on read by my best friend for, let me see, ahh, a good 20 hours.
    What is this feeling that I am getting - anger, disappointment, insecurity or, damn, anything but that, loneliness?
    *Awkward laugh* How can I feel lonely in a span of a day, I mean, my friends would not and CANNOT just avoid me or forget about me or worse get bored with me. Some friends, huh!
    I wish I could go out and sit with my friends in our regular spot at our regular café. I just wish I could video call at least one person a day. Ugh!
    What am I? Why though?
    Yeah, yeah, right, extrovert blood!

    The walls are closing in now. I am feeling too many things at once. The latest episode of my favourite running series was so amazing that I wanted to talk someone and tell them what I thought of it. The novel I am reading took a gut-wrenching twist and I wanted to send the 'blue-headed shock faced' emoji to someone and cool down before turning to the next chapter.
    I just tried a new cake recipe and I wanna tell someone in person how good it turned out, instead of just putting it up on my story on Instagram.
    But now that I have no one, and feel like I am suffocating under my own weight of silence and thoughts, I feel lonely.

    I know I have friends a call away but sometimes it feels too clingy to text first all the time. Or seem a little to desperate. Or seem like an attention-seeker. Well, am I categorized as any of of them? If I am, I will be damned. Ugh! Am I losing it finally?

    //Oh wait, my best friend's caller ID just flashed. This is gonna be a long call, finally! Not all's lost, I see. (Was I overreacting or is that just my normal way of reacting?)

    ©sharmee_m