• not_yours 19w

    As he had messaged me yesterday that he dsnt want to talk to me as I had destroyed his life and had told me to " gand mara" today he again messaged.

    He texted me at night when you dint love me why the fuck you did all that drama that you love me, I knew he is drunk and again he might start abusing ne so before that I had texted hin, if I had never loved you karma will do it's part you need not worry and if you got ballss fuckin come here say whatever u wanna say,say on my face.
    He told he will be here in 10mins.

    He was here outside my house after some time he texted me and I took permission from my sister that am going out for like 10 mins @12:30 am she told me what if he is carrying a knife or anything to harm you and insisted to accompany me.
    I told her need not worry nothing gonna happen to me and I left with a knife because I was scared too from inside.

    I met hin, I requested him to abuse me as much as he wants to he can take all the stuffs which he says he is dealing with and Neve lets out I told him take everything out you got your time and I don't want you depressing abusive texts each day.
    Just say whatever you want to and finish it, he told me you keep fighting for small stuff am at job am frustrated I don't take out on you even am very much short tempered he also mentioned he also have a murder case running on me but I never lash out at you and blah blah he kept complaining without interruption, and than he told he he can't leave me he wants me he wanna marry me, he wants me at any cost.

    I asked him when you have so many complaints and yesterday you had mentioned I have destroyed your life and when you are not happy than why the hell would you ever want to be with me and I just said please be happy I have no complaints nor iwant to exaggerate let's just get over with this.

    He sat on the road grabbing my legs and starts whining please don't leave me I'll die without you, just give me one chance one last chance am dying from inside.

    I told him I dont want anything to happen to you and for your own good am leaving you now be happy be with whosoever you wanna be but he just dint let me go.

    He grabbed me and started to kiss me I told him this is my lane if anyone sees we would be in trouble, he mentioned he dsnt care about anyone or anything he just won't leave unless I say yess I accept him.

    I told I would never do that, he cried he held me so tight and told me I would never let you go anywhere and would never yell at me or abuse me.

    I told him I got no issues you abusing me because even I abuse alot but not when the topic is argumentive, not when am angry but he said I promise you he would never repeat.

    Now am at a dilemma what the fuck does he wants, does he completely wants to ruin my life wants to ruin me or does he really love me, but if he would have loved me he wouldn't have really reacted the way he did.

    I mean I had been pretty much vocal about the relationship I had told him I lov him only coz he does, I overthink and have many cons I had told Everything yet he wants to be with me but not ready to handle I mean wtf does this asss wants.

    I really hope I just go a bitch and be like his previous gf who ran away with his friend because I really don't think people deserve love.

    When I tried giving all my efforts at a point, he just bashed me with the reality that please don't be good and now I just want my good phase to be done and want to switch to bad one...

    Unsure about everything let's see how this fuckin ends.....

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