I always thought that the moon was female. Even though I grew up reading texts which often mentioned "Chanda mama'' (Uncle moon) it didn't change my perspective at all because the moon has to be very beautiful and I've always associated beauty with females.
They say that when love happens it changes you. So what exactly it changes in you? Love changes your perspective of the World. In the first few months of a relationship often referred to as 'Honeymoon period' you seem to view the World with a rose-tinted glass but when it doesn't end well the same World appears to be dark and gloomy. Love doesn't always mean romantic love.
I first fell in love when my nephew was born. As he stepped in my life, a Khala (aunt) inside me came into existence. Love of a Khala is one of the purest forms of love in the universe. It's very close to maternal love it only shows how capable we are of loving other's children like our own. When love happened, the girl who wouldn't think of touching a diaper ended up changing 4-5 diapers per day, and the youngest sibling who was protected by others her entire life suddenly became a caretaker. The adolescent who wasn't fond of newborns suddenly craved to hold one.
The saying that love doesn't divide, it multiples always confused me until I became a Khala again. That's when I realized that you can love more than one human being equally without comparing them. It always annoys me to death when people compare them and refer one of them as prettier/smarter or something. They're like my fingers, very different but I love both of them equally.
Dear Future Self, I'm writing this with a heavy heart, still hoping that this finds you well. My fingers tremble as I type but you'll probably never get the reason why. As today my heart pounders for something you'll find ridiculous tomorrow and the things that make me anxious would be a mere joke to you or just another bad memory but no matter who you are you'll always be close to my heart. Today I'm going through major stress yet I'm fighting for you and I know that I'll survive just to see you in a better place. Even if you're not doing well at your timeline you'll always have my back as I'm the one who shaped you and made you who you are. If you ever feel like giving up think about my struggles. It's not like you have to pay me back for something but please don't let my aspirations go in vain. Since you're even a better version of me I know that you're capable of doing a lot of great things in life. Please remember that no matter what happens I believe in you. Keep pushing yourself and don't let the growth stop. Per Aspera Ad Astra. Love, Your younger self. P.S: I'm rooting for you.
I stand in the middle of a crowd With throbbing breaths, As my heart aches I ask myself 'Why I'm here?' Am I in this world? Will I blend in or stand out? Do I exist? Or I'm in absolute nothingness?
Is it a part of me now? Or I'm becoming a part of it? Because every day, I smile so brightly With my entire courage, I curl my lips Is my future bright like my smile? Or it's dark just as it sounds.
Is it those nights I've been restless? Or is it the mornings when I don't feel like leaving the bed? Is it all the time I've been more strong than I was? Or all the time I've been shattered inside? Sometimes it's as if it didn't exist While sometimes it's strong as a narcotic I don't know if it'll consume me Or maybe I'll overcome it?
I was young when i lost him. u didn't realise what had happened back then, but then after that day, i never saw that familiar face again after the day, a lot of things changed. a lot of responsibilities came falling down on mum.
A lot of responsibilities came falling down on u. u have to 'grow up' early. u have to be 'mature' about everything. u have to pretend to be strong when u were falling apart. and all of this was exhausting for u. from taking care of yourself to taking care of your younger sibling, u lost ur own childhood.
you don't have the luxury of saying, "my dad will take care of it." every time you mess up. to u, sometimes it feels as if the world took away your life support before u even learnt how to breathe properly. U have been hiding ur weakness for so long that they're now just a part of u.
You've come a long way. and on most days, it doesn't pinch u as much. but then there are days like these where u just think how different things would be if dad were with u. how different it all could've been. how simpler things could've been.
you could've remained a child, for longer. you could've lived your life, a little more. you could've done so much more, you little warrior.