pennamebreez

Used to have an account on Hello Poetry and am migrating. Enjoy!

Grid View
List View
  • pennamebreez 7w

    Alone

    I feel
    So
    Alone

    I feel
    So
    Empty

    I feel
    So
    Lost
    ©pennamebreez

  • pennamebreez 12w

    Gum

    You made me feel stuck
    You made me feel gross
    You made me feel unwanted
    You made me feel like an inconvenience
    You made me feel ugly
    You made me feel like a waste
    You made me feel discarded
    You made me feel like a mistake
    You made feel powerless
    You made me feel worthless
    You made me feel inhuman
    You made me feel like a ruined day

    A ruined day that lasts forever...
    And there is no running from it
    There is no hiding from it
    There's just me, unmoving
    Unable to be whatever you wanted
    When I never really had a chance

    You made me feel like gum
    On the bottom of your shoe

    I did not deserve to feel that way

    ©pennamebreez

  • pennamebreez 73w

    Word Prompt:

    Write a 3 word micro-tale on Overlook

    Read More

    I was wrong

  • pennamebreez 73w

    Rest in peace George Floyd. I wish that humanity was kinder and community was easier for us to get right.

    Read More

    "I can't Breathe"

    You can be upset about racism
    And the murder
    And be upset over the lootings of stores
    And the police building that was set on fire
    And the CNN crew that was briefly arrested

    It is a fact
    that humans do terrifying things
    Many of which don't make sense.
    It's an opinion that we can do better
    And a choice that we do not

    You can be upset that years of education
    and peaceful protest haven't been enough.
    You can be upset that after all those years
    people felt so pushed to the breaking point.

    You can be upset that it took
    a death,
    lootings,
    a fire,
    and all this virtual noise

    For someone to feel heard.

    You can be upset that people are saying the wrong things
    You can be upset that people aren't saying anything
    You can be upset that you didn't know what was going on

    Until suddenly you did.

    You can be upset that
    more people
    are spending
    more time
    being upset at what is,
    or what isn't
    being said
    than getting off the couch-
    out of the house-
    And actually doing something.

    You can be upset that it feels like
    whatever you do
    won't actually be enough to matter.

    You can be upset because
    so many people are upset.
    Shouting relentless and raw
    And in all that chaos and confusion
    Hate and hurt
    Running like blood
    Thick as smoke

    It's so hard
    For so many
    To breathe

    ©pennamebreez

  • pennamebreez 73w

    I'm fine

    "I can hear in your voice that you are sad"
    I'm always sad. Sometimes it leaks out.

  • pennamebreez 79w

    Life is disappointing. I can see the cycles of me feeding an idea only to be so disappointed or unsatisfied. It's hard to find the energy to keep starting that fire.

    Read More

    This little light of mine

    I can look back and see the debris
    Of some beautiful idea, once so hopeful.
    I laid my heart out on those decisions.
    A new relationship. A hobby. A goal.
    Kindling for the fire in my soul
    And my heart tells me
    This. Is. It.
    This is going to be the pivotal moment
    That feeds the embers
    And fights off the cold.
    This is going to be how I light my way.

    Yet despite the hard work and passion...
    I'm always suffocated by the weight of the world.
    Its cruel grasp clenching my soul in its fist
    So I cant fight or breathe...
    Stamping out any fleeting hope I had left...
    Like a stray spark in a dry field,
    Seconds from setting the world ablaze,
    And so quickly snuffed out.
    Leaving nothing to think about but smoke and darkness.
    ©pennamebreez

  • pennamebreez 80w

    Written after a long fight with a best friend (CK) during another hard time. We no longer talk now. But I see it now as a lesson life gifted me with. My circle got much smaller and I am in a much happier place now.

    Read More

    You're being stupid

    You aren't the first to tell me that...
    So I'm trying to forgive and forget.
    But it's hard.
    It's hard when someone you love
    Tells you that your feelings aren't reasonable.
    Like I don't already know that...
    Feelings aren't always about logic and fact.
    Sometimes people just feel things.
    Sometimes for stupid reasons.
    You don't have to understand why.
    I just thought you cared enough
    To want to make me feel better.
    Instead you let me return to my head
    And torture myself for hours.
    You left me there when I just needed
    To be held for a moment.
    I just needed to hear
    That everything was okay.
    I just needed to know
    That you still loved me,
    And that you didn't want me to be uncomfortable.
    I know all that should be a given.
    Sometimes a gentle reminder just helps...
    And keeps me out of the dark.
    I'm trying my best to not be
    The anxious, self conscious mess
    That I always am.
    I want to turn it off...
    But I don't always win that fight,
    And I'm really sorry...
    And I already hate myself enough
    Every time I do fail.
    I'm trying.
    Please don't give up on me too...

    ©pennamebreez

  • pennamebreez 80w

    To this day I struggle with feeling like I don't want to live. This was written in one of those darker moments.

    Read More

    The darkest place

    I feel things so deeply
    Sometimes it's like I'm screaming
    But in some strange language
    That no one else knows.

    I have nothing more to offer
    But who I am.
    And daily I am reminded
    That it will never be enough.

    I get more lonely every day.
    Everyone around me gets quieter
    And the voices in my head
    are only growing louder

    Reminding me that I will lose everyone.
    That I have never been enough
    And will always be too much.
    That I am... ultimately, unlovable.

    No one can hear me anymore.
    As I sink beneath the sea of tears
    And the darkness feels so
    welcoming...

    The more time that passes...
    The more life I seem to waste...
    The more it hurts...
    The less I want to live.

    I wish I was braver.
    I wish my path had shapped me
    And made me stronger.
    Instead it's left me lost, alone, and broken.

    And I just don't want to feel things anymore

    ©pennamebreez

  • pennamebreez 80w

    About ZB, related to my first BDSM experience.

    Read More

    Clinky

    The first time
    You strapped that blue leather
    Around my neck
    And held me against your chest

    My mind was torn open-
    The world I knew disappeared-
    And there was only you
    To surrender to.

    As you guided me
    And I followed
    Walking without hesitation
    And feeling without fear...

    I knew even days after
    I would still be able to hear
    The high metalic sound
    Of that cold, clinking steal.

    And any perception of being
    I once thought that I had
    Was shattered forever
    In those moments.

    The world without that clinky strap
    Of beautiful blue leather
    would never look the same-
    Would never again be enough.
    ©pennamebreez

  • pennamebreez 80w

    About ZB. An old friend that I had reconnected with. When we met, we were both in relationships, and this time we were both available.

    Read More

    Unaware

    He does not hear the way my heart
    Stalls and stops at the sound of his voice.
    Nor capture the moment it implodes
    Within the confines of his perfect words .

    He cannot grasp that my thoughts scatter
    When he looks to read them from my mind.
    Nor comprehend that I enjoy the very taste of his name
    As my tongue moves to shape it.

    He does not see the world around me still
    At the sight of his smile.
    Nor feel the calm in the air
    As I gaze into the depths of eyes.

    He cannot fathom the ache inside my heart
    As I dream of his presence.
    Nor understand the complexity
    Of my certain devotion.

    He does not know my blood boils
    At the thought of his skin on mine.
    Nor that I dearly desire his lips
    Upon my burning flesh.

    He is unaware that he has quickly become...
    My dream, my delight, and my desire.
    Nor is he even aware
                 that he is unaware
                             and may always be..
    ©pennamebreez