panache_stains_and_hangovers

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Matter of time and we'll be gone !

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  • panache_stains_and_hangovers 178w

    Believe me or just think this is another story I plotted in my Head. Caged in misunderstanding and trust issues, I won't say it is only your fault over here. I will write down my mistakes and plea you to read your own commited ones.
    I barely can move my fingers to write this whole scenario in one attempt. I lied to you for the nth 'once' and I know the output of that lie on me.I sew your wounds gifted by my lies and never expected you to do the same. But beyond this, Did I ever exploit you ? Didn't I put you on the fucking top. Yes I worshipped you. I built a temple of your name in my Heart. Even If I snatch away Moon from the sky and put it over your naked feet because that is where it actually belongs. You will in a glance remind me of the other infinite 'moons' in this universe.I will certainly show in every damn way or in all the little things that I do about how much I crave for you, Darling and you will shift+Delete all the emotions, sympathy, empathy that you have for me.I will charge all my strength and endurance again over and over to go through this and to become the exact potrait of your "Dream Man" but it won't be enough.I have extracted all the elixir within my nerves and I have poured that into your soul. Maybe you pointed out that it was always a body that I desired for and little do you know, I have put my soul in our intimacy. I know I show my emotions with a snap and you barely do so. I know you too are fucked up from whatever happened and wish to cry your heart out. I know I have even broken you with all the little things that you have expected from me.Because I used to protect you from harm being your armour. I know when everyone will go through this plot, they will have nothing to say other then to 'move on' and that would be the only answer I am ignoring since the fucking first day when I saw you.
    At the end, Sweetheart Believe me or not, or think this is just another story a narcissist has plotted because in both the ways the conclusion will always be the same.
    That I loved you and I do and I am preparing myself to go into a space and bring all those indefinite moons from there to put them right into the ground you walk upon.

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    ...Even if I snatch away Moon from the sky and put it over your naked feet.......

    (Read the caption)

    - Rahul Saha
    ©panache_stains_and_hangovers

  • panache_stains_and_hangovers 179w

    The idea of Love is not terrible, being in love might be. I have been victimized of my own thoughts. Sometimes, by the words and actions of the one I Love. No matter if you do your absolute best to be with them and fill their voids. They will always put you down. I have failed with my words to explain what you meant to me, I have failed to describe the distances between us, Hell is a right word I guess.
    And there is no medication to get out of it. No cure for this chronic disorder I have been suffering from.
    Darling, I am afraid of a Night When Moon will tell you everything that you resist to listen, That you have lost a boy who never wished of your Long Love letters, Neither interfered your personal space, And stood there, right there everytime you left. You know why, Because He belonged to you. He embraced your scars and make them look much more beautiful than I had. He walked down the burning coals for that smile which you possess.
    All I could say is You shouldn't have to judge him with whatever past he had, He stretched his tongue and told you all his guilts and lies. The version in which he was involved with you was the purest and best by all means, From Head to toe, He was Loyal to you.
    And all the little things that he did for you but you failed to noticed,
    You should have concentrated on that,
    You should have remembered all those vows He made to you, under the street lights. Cause when you went home keeping all the grudges bulked up in your throat, I have seen him up from here. I have noticed all his movements and I have never seen a better Lover than him.
    There were no roots more intimate than what bounds him with you (emotionally) or anyways If you don't,its all Okay, You were right all this time, He is selfish, He is obsessed with himself and He literally thinks the world revolves around himself, Cause Sweetheart, He craves for that smile, You live in that fist shaped object and that is the reason why he is obsessed with himself and There is no deny that You meant a world to him and his favourite Hobby was to be forever revolve in your orbit.

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    ...He walked down the burning coals for that smile which you possess....

    (Read the caption)

    - Rahul Saha
    ©panache_stains_and_hangovers

  • panache_stains_and_hangovers 179w

    1:00 am.

    I don't need a tag of relation to tell people I am in Love with you. I have invested my heart, my time, my breaths on you.

    Goodbye.

    - Rahul Saha
    ©panache_stains_and_hangovers

  • panache_stains_and_hangovers 179w

    You were an unexpected Tragedy
    That drowned me in jar of happiness.

    - Rahul Saha
    ©panache_stains_and_hangovers

  • panache_stains_and_hangovers 180w

    Ain't "Forever" a Fiction ?
    Or
    Was it only for "you"

    - Rahul Saha
    ©panache_stains_and_hangovers

  • panache_stains_and_hangovers 183w

    So If I could weave your soul or I say the pieces of your broken soul in my poetries, Will it be enough to convey how much I crave for you !?
    And I tried not to love you this way. Trust me, I have.
    I pulled back all my emotions but they have betrayed me too.
    You have never been too broken that you can't fix my pieces back together. And I have never been lost untill I stare into your eyes for a while. I dont have any expectations or desires so sinfully as you. And I am not even debating about that I will die if you are not the part of my life in future. It's just that I'll be the best version of myself when I have you by my side. Just like a Daily bath in a summer or wearing a proper uniform in college, you too have become my necessity. And Every single night when I wrap myself up in my quilt, what itches me is your absence. When I see you smiling from a distance with your face a little upward and eyes closed a part of my soul sinks deeper within you in a hope that maybe one day you will understand all those little things I have done for you in the name of Love. You remind me of the most beautiful verse of my favourite song. When I rest my head over your knees, I felt the same comfort level I feel in my mom's lap. Finally at the end of day when I look myself in the mirror I could see your soul dwelling into deeper roots within me. I wish I could Say the same for you. I have learnt to survive from your walls which sometimes act as a salt on my wounds and an ego which set flames on my scars.
    I am taking chances knowing the fact that maybe there lies a heartbreak ahead and at the same time in a hope that maybe one day you will grab me from behind and smirk "You can afford this hell bent heart".

    Happy Valentine's Day."��"

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    "And Every single night when I wrap up myself up in my quilt, what itches me is your absence"

    (Read the caption)

    - Rahul Saha
    ©panache_stains_and_hangovers

  • panache_stains_and_hangovers 185w

    Hey, How about getting back in the time where you were the only Person I would lose sleep for. Come let's walk down to our timeline where I started fighting a battle that I knew I would be losing. Look from here now, Did you ever thought this will happen in future ? We would part our ways from each other and will never look back. The world never understood whatever 'we' both had back then. But you know I did. I knew how much pure you were when it comes to both of us. My heart used to drop whenever your name was mentioned by my friends. I always had a belief that you would stitch my wounds. I did things to you selflessly.
    But a boy have a heart too and a boy suffers too.
    I took you in a past today cause flashbacks are too haunting and it's the anxiety which starts cause of them.
    But I couldn't abandon you. I never did. I have given you so many 'rights' that I can't give to anyone else in near future.
    And At the same time, I can't let you go leaving my hand in the middle of a burning ocean.
    You would never be the part of my poems, my musings my tale or my life. If you wouldn't be special. Remove those ear plugs and throw all the negativity you have evoked in your head.
    Listen to me carefully Darling. I have walked down miles for you and I would happily do it till eternity no matter whether the equation of our relation will get resolved or not.
    You can happily promise someone else that you want to die in their arms. And I would take you along with myself after then.
    Cause I am gonna love you even after my heart stops, my body decays. My soul will search for you in all the streets of heaven.

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    "You can happily promise someone that you want to die in their arms. And I would take you along with myself after then"

    (Read the caption)

    - Rahul Saha
    ©panache_stains_and_hangovers

  • panache_stains_and_hangovers 187w

    The significance of existence gets diminished
    while I sink in the void of disparities...

    And you still blame my actions while I hunt my escape from reality..

    - Rahul Saha
    ©panache_stains_and_hangovers

  • panache_stains_and_hangovers 188w

    A thin beam of moonlight fell
    on my crumpled forehead as if
    she was caressing me with
    all the love she possessed.
    Wish she was still here with me !

    --- A star twinkled in the sky !

    - Rahul Saha
    ©panache_stains_and_hangovers

  • panache_stains_and_hangovers 188w

    Ask me what looks more beautiful than moon,

    And I will point at you.

    - Rahul Saha
    ©panache_stains_and_hangovers