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  • nutcracker3 6w

    Credits

    Dedicated to my parents,

    Who went against convention

    Who went against tradition

    Who went against people

    And worst of all

    Who went against their inner fears

    Their very own personal demons.

    To get me an incredible education.

    Thanks a million, forever.


    ©nutcracker3

  • nutcracker3 6w

    This is for all those who find it difficult to push away people who repeatedly hurt us. No matter how much you loved them or if you still do, deeply. We gotta make a choice at one point.

    The choice isn't about loving or hating anyone. It's about self-care.
    It's about self respect.
    We are only humans.
    We can keep trying until we can't anymore.

    Where to draw the line becomes REALLY clearer, if you are someone who analyses your life situations every once in a while.

    It's easy, look.

    Just weigh the hurt against the love. If loving them is too hurtful, you know what to do...
    Prioritise wisely. It's something I've learnt very recently.

    Life is beautiful �� Let's count our blessings ����

    @writersnetwork #heartbreak #healing #standupforyourself #love #endthedrama #letstalkaboutit #mirakee

    Read More

    Be your own game

    Seven long months, I dredged on
    Hurt and blind,
    Covered in my own blood
    Choking on my salty tears
    Wrangling with the breath inside
    I thought he left me alone
    And I believed, I finally made it

    And on that very day
    Of all the other days that existed
    On that morning, I felt it
    In my sore heart
    That I could move away
    Heal on, bravely

    His guilt, he dropped on me
    Like a bomb that was pre-set
    The lies he coveted
    Were threatened to be exposed
    He needed peace of mind
    For hurting me
    Infront of all those I cared

    Skipping college on Valentine's
    To be with her, his queen
    She played her part well
    The drama went on and on
    Until I realized I can no longer—!


    But he didn't leave me alone
    He said closure is too shallow a word
    "Let's talk like adults" he said
    Like all the drama was so mature
    Indeed it was rated 16 plus
    But not quite the mature show
    If you know what I mean

    I gave him a final chance
    If after all these time
    "Us" still bothered him
    The boy's gotta be serious, right?
    "Fine, I'm free on Friday" I said
    Uhh.. I got work, I can't... he said
    "At what time does work end?"
    5:30 in the evening..

    ??!!!

    Like I should be concerned..
    About ruining his pretty schedule
    I decided, then and there
    That's the last time
    I'll ever care. Ever.
    I mean it.
    And I keep my word
    I'll honour it.
    For me.

    For two days and three night
    My head was blurry
    But on the third morn
    My face shone like a lost star
    That had found it's galaxy
    I knew, then and there
    That one cannot be wrong
    In choosing oneself over a loon
    Because I am the loon
    That I'd like to be with
    For the rest of my life

    Not like I have much of a choice there..
    Haha..!

    ©nutcracker3

  • nutcracker3 6w

    Well, families are always complicated for starters.
    Committing to something you are born into is not an easy job unless there's nothing you want with your life that isn't already there within your reach, within your family. And for most of us, we are on the side with little or less luck. But there's always something to look up to.

    @writersnetwork #wod #family #lovemyself #mirakee

    Read More

    I'm leaving, for good.

    The kitchen sink was always too short
    My mum crooned her back for years
    Washing the dirty dishes
    Flushing the grime and lather
    And it was fine because
    That's what she always does
    Regardless
    But it was unsettling to me
    I protested, acted out, bellowed
    "Everybody must do the damn chores!!"
    And just like smoke from incense sticks
    It wafted accross the hall only
    To disappear before anyone could bask in it
    And the stiffling hot air took its place
    But hey, this was normal.
    While all the sighs of disappointment
    From the air filled up my lungs
    And I grew weary tired feeling like
    I was trying too hard to not fail but I was
    Failing from not trying too hard
    Like this was a game I could not win
    Until one day...
    My family decided I needed to marry
    So that I'll feel good about myself
    Have a family of mine own...! oohh
    Like I was having a great time already

    Like the flesh is to bone
    They got under my skin
    Convinced me that I need to marry
    And reproduce mine own kin
    And I believed them

    It's not hard to fall for that
    When day and night
    You're outnumbered by people
    Who want things for you that you can't have
    The pressure weared me out to a different level
    And I began to act "funny"
    So that I'll be deemed "funny"
    Like whoever, but just not me

    But when I would get closer to winning their exciting game
    I would snap and quit, find problems with the rules
    Because the rules were indeed wrong
    Oh God...
    It was a one-size-fits-all thing
    And I wasn't looking to buy anything!
    Regardless of how attractive they looked
    Or how cheaply they were sold!
    To marry was mandatory
    Or so I was told

    It was all untrue, too good to be true
    Like my expired lovers who came off as great but "slightly" too overpowering
    Because I was a giver in relationships
    And it became important to find myself

    So, I decided, I needed to find me first
    Maybe with the help of a friend
    Maybe alone, or even with fur-company.
    It doesn't matter how, because
    I owe myself an apology
    For letting them tell me what I want
    And for letting me believe that I needed
    All those things that they prescribed for me,
    In short I was past due
    In getting a fresh start
    And that's what I'm gonna do

    ©nutcracker3

  • nutcracker3 6w

    On Stranger Tides

    It's crazy..
    How you wanted to be someone
    A specific someone
    Since the beginng of 'you'
    It's ironic and sarcastic
    If not an understatement
    That I turned out to be the exact opposite
    I guess the brain really doesn't understand negative connotations...!
    I get it.
    All my frettings were in vain

    ... A calculated disaster ...

    It looks like that's what I've become

    ©nutcracker3

  • nutcracker3 6w

    Wrung Out

    Hesitant and unsure, I made a decision on 14th October, 2021, a Thursday.
    . . .

    My parent were confused, shaken
    Suddenly, unsure 'bout their own decisions
    I wrung 'em dry and stirred 'em
    Out of their cocoons, their haven
    I returned the favour after all these years
    Did it break my heart?

    Sometimes I'd wonder if I'll ever heal

    Years of selfish, ignorant, uninformed decisions
    An exquisite recipe, manifested
    Catered to the mess that I am today
    Lesser than a picture-perfect portrait
    Zoned out, I breathe, in patches

    Was I right to do that?
    You're asking the wrong person.

    Could I possibly agree anymore?
    Like a lamb that's taught
    That heaven lies at the slaughter's
    I followed their songs for years
    Craving salvation
    That is non-existent.
    A fool, I was, yesterday
    But today, what maketh me?
    Our sins or God's blessings?
    . . .
    ©nutcracker3

  • nutcracker3 7w

    I wanna be
    the Goddess
    of
    Virtue & Bounty

    ©nutcracker3

  • nutcracker3 7w

    ...combined with a tired body. That. That is the definition of hard work for me. Definitely the life that I dream of..

    Not luxury. Not Fashion. No such BS.

    Just pure brute strength and clear intellect, hand in hand, living with Mee in a beautiful home surrounded by nature, birds and ofcourse cats!!
    And occasionally I would go to town festivals and enjoy the sunset with a crowd too ignorant to realize it's beauty. To be alone I would excuse myself in the name of ice cream, or to tie my laces and lose myself in the crowd and then sneak away to a quiet invisible corner and watch the darn sunset in all its hues of orange and mourning red. And every four days I would commit myself to the community by aiding and abetting the miserable, the one's who've lost hope in life... and rescue little baby girls and orphaned kittens and nurture them until they are big and strong. I would teach the girls to take care of themselves and find jobs to live their lives and the kittens would grow up into little daredevils who would sneak away from home every now and then and bring me a fish from where the river and the waterfall meet, close-by. I will not marry by chance but by choice and we would fight, me and my husband, like little children and then cry in each others arms and hug each other to sleep only to wake up to see each other's faces and remember the fight all over again but then ...the sun creeping through the dainty white curtains would tempt us to forgive each other so that we'd have company to enjoy the rest of the day (with)...


    This is how I day-dream, productively...
    ������

    Read More

    What's a head for?

    Everyday I make my bed hoping to get some quality sleep when I approach my bed it should be like... no other thought should run up to my head first other than sleep. Precious sleep. Ah. That combined with ...
    (More in caption)


    ©nutcracker3

  • nutcracker3 7w

    By the way it's not like you should do this.
    But if you're stuck in a phase you know what I mean.., if you do agree hit that ❤

    Read More

    And so it goes..

    Me trying to prepare for an exam that has been postponed for more than three times:

    I will get it done this week. Absolutely.

    ☝☺
    ©nutcracker3

  • nutcracker3 7w

    We will all die
    And when we do
    We do it alone

    ©nutcracker3

  • nutcracker3 7w

    Dedicated to most females of my life.
    #wod #murder @writersnetwork

    Read More

    Getting away with my murder

    I tried to tell you at once
    But you said you know it all
    That I must keep it in,
    Marry and settle down
    When people asked you why she did it?
    I see you fumbling under your breath
    You managed to tell them
    "..I have no idea, why..!"
    Sis, please try saying the same
    To the cops outside our house
    ©nutcracker3