As he had messaged me yesterday that he dsnt want to talk to me as I had destroyed his life and had told me to " gand mara" today he again messaged.
He texted me at night when you dint love me why the fuck you did all that drama that you love me, I knew he is drunk and again he might start abusing ne so before that I had texted hin, if I had never loved you karma will do it's part you need not worry and if you got ballss fuckin come here say whatever u wanna say,say on my face. He told he will be here in 10mins.
He was here outside my house after some time he texted me and I took permission from my sister that am going out for like 10 mins @12:30 am she told me what if he is carrying a knife or anything to harm you and insisted to accompany me. I told her need not worry nothing gonna happen to me and I left with a knife because I was scared too from inside.
I met hin, I requested him to abuse me as much as he wants to he can take all the stuffs which he says he is dealing with and Neve lets out I told him take everything out you got your time and I don't want you depressing abusive texts each day. Just say whatever you want to and finish it, he told me you keep fighting for small stuff am at job am frustrated I don't take out on you even am very much short tempered he also mentioned he also have a murder case running on me but I never lash out at you and blah blah he kept complaining without interruption, and than he told he he can't leave me he wants me he wanna marry me, he wants me at any cost.
I asked him when you have so many complaints and yesterday you had mentioned I have destroyed your life and when you are not happy than why the hell would you ever want to be with me and I just said please be happy I have no complaints nor iwant to exaggerate let's just get over with this.
He sat on the road grabbing my legs and starts whining please don't leave me I'll die without you, just give me one chance one last chance am dying from inside.
I told him I dont want anything to happen to you and for your own good am leaving you now be happy be with whosoever you wanna be but he just dint let me go.
He grabbed me and started to kiss me I told him this is my lane if anyone sees we would be in trouble, he mentioned he dsnt care about anyone or anything he just won't leave unless I say yess I accept him.
I told I would never do that, he cried he held me so tight and told me I would never let you go anywhere and would never yell at me or abuse me.
I told him I got no issues you abusing me because even I abuse alot but not when the topic is argumentive, not when am angry but he said I promise you he would never repeat.
Now am at a dilemma what the fuck does he wants, does he completely wants to ruin my life wants to ruin me or does he really love me, but if he would have loved me he wouldn't have really reacted the way he did.
I mean I had been pretty much vocal about the relationship I had told him I lov him only coz he does, I overthink and have many cons I had told Everything yet he wants to be with me but not ready to handle I mean wtf does this asss wants.
I really hope I just go a bitch and be like his previous gf who ran away with his friend because I really don't think people deserve love.
When I tried giving all my efforts at a point, he just bashed me with the reality that please don't be good and now I just want my good phase to be done and want to switch to bad one...
Unsure about everything let's see how this fuckin ends.....
Dint give him much of my time or attention before that day Bas ek bar mil lo pleasseeeee
We started meeting in Jan 2021 finally we met after our office time He came to the part near my house
We spent some good time and one night we he asked me to take me to club And it was Feb 13th, we were at THE LAL STREET club where he proposed me and told me he wanna marry me
I told am not much into love and I had already told him how toxic my past was
He still insisted,I agreed and I finally accepted him( with a little bit of unsure) I told him I love that he loves me that much and maybe I might fall for him
Time passed i had left my job in march and since than an unemployed. I lost all interest working I was enjoying the moment all the attention, but slowly slowly it all started to fade away. We started having our fights which turned into bigger ones and it continued.
There was one girl in his office and when he made me meet all his friends I really dint like the vibes I was getting from her...it confronted is there something running between you both he told no there isn't anything, and he liked it that am getting jelous of his gf's
I told him I am not jelous it's just the way you guys had some sorta chemistry and idk I felt there could be somthing and he explained no she is just like my sister.
Later after some time when we had bit of a fight he went onto telling her ,the same girl who I was suspecting maybe there is something running btw em both, He told her he is not good for me, he isn't able to handle me also that lady is only there who could understand him, usually I never checked his phone but that day when he came to my place to make up after the fight unluckily I saw the text and I felt cheated I told him if you want to be with her fucking leave me,am not dyeing here just be with her, but instead he cried and told me she is his sister and there is nothing running btw them. I dint speak with him for more than a week and I still wasn't sure what to do with him.
But later I somehow agreed to give him one last chance and he kept saying how much he love me and care for me and my family but when we had a fight there wasn't even a single day he came to my place spoke with me, though he did try to make calls twice or thrice maybe but I told him I can't be with him but he just asked for one single chance.
After I had agreed he told me he want to meet me today while he was out with his friends,I had no issues he hanging out with his friends but I think there should be a balance and you must also show what you actually means buy saying you love me and am your priority.
He dint contact me I slept I had already decided I would not be saying anything to him because before I had tried telling him that atleast let me know where you are or who you are with but Instead he told why do I exaggerate. He never stay at home, he keeps roaming al the time which I had never complained about but there was this time when I was out with my friends, my female friends and he got so hyper and kept asking me where was I and who I am with he was asking for location I had told him what about the time you are out with your friends and you are least bothered to tell me, he simply replies saying you could have called me and asked, I told him when I ask u say don't exaggerat what the hell am suppose to do.
Leaving Everything, we had survived till today but it was shoking when he told me today u destroyed me and I don't fuckin wanna see you.
He dropped my call and am pretty sure he must be drinking wity his friends, because that's what he does when we have fight or even if we don't fight he drinks he makes a scene but today he told me TU GAND MARA AM ALL DONE WITH YOU( he had told me he never abused me or yelled at me, but today I guess it's all done)
Am gonna keep my ego, my pride with me this time but I also have learnt a lesson when somebody pretending to be so sweet mentioning baby ur my crush I love you I wanna have a family with you, when such sorta guy could turn into some toxic shit, u really got to be cautious about each and every mofo..... Because at the they all come into your like to fuck your happiness and all the do is make u cry make u regret and just fuck offf.......
This time I tried to be patient enough to understand, I tried not to question much not to be overpossesive ever when he was out god knows with whom, this time I did not to shit...but I guess this is what I had written for myself.....A BAD CHOICE
This is what they'll alws doo FUCK UR LIFE....SO INSTEAD SAY ON THEIR FACE.