The wooden bells ringing chorus, The white roses in splendid odour, The church was lit, crowded with people All beautifully attired and happily speaking.... My wedding day was precious, A precious nostalgia that always gives me the feels.... For good memories always lasts forever!
As I sit here alone inhaling all of my memories, "our memories". I can't help but remember the day we met. How our eyes caught each other. I knew exactly what I felt, Love.
I remember thinking, this could actually mean something, Something big, Something better, Most importantly, something worth trying for. Those first two years, I can't even forget them even if I want to. How could I? Not only did I fell in love with you, But also myself. And I will always hate you for teaching me something so difficult.
I remember how I fucked each and everything up. How easily I manged to mess up the only good thing going on in my life. Maybe you were right. It was me. You had your limits, and maybe I was too much. I never blamed you for leaving me in the middle of nowhere How could I? I was a mess, I still am. And to be honest I blame myself. I always will.
I know, I'm wasting my time. I know, You will never read this. And, I know, "this" is not going to serve any purpose whatsoever. But maybe it is appropriate for this one little thing I blame you for.
Out of all the things in the world you taught me, Living without you wasn't one of them.
"for you a thousand times over," i said without wasting a breath. it was a time when love smelt like you; forever was not just another lie; when my eyes mumbled your name-closed or open. the streets were brighterand drowning along with you seemed the only right thing to do. my diary choked with romance over the gaps i leave for the punctuations hanging down the room. "call me by your name and i'll call you by mine," you said. and my heart shifts to that line over and over again, replaying your lips twitching over the corners to a smirk, your skin gleaming from sweat, hands locked in mine... the way we chased the moonlight, with your fingers lacing my imperfect bun. you said, we were the fireflies glowing from the muddy mountains of hatred. handed me letters with a pink envelope which still has the perfect curves on it.
"तुम एक लडक़ी हो और हमारे घर में लड़कियों को पढ़ाया नहीं जाता, उनका काम केवल इतना होता है कि वो बड़ी हो और ब्याह कर अपने घर चली जाएं"
My Grandma was 6 when she was told this by her father cause the thing she asked for was, books to study basic acronyms of the Hindi language, this all seems to be meaningless as of today, right? but, it did happen with her and I'm sure she wasn't the ONLY one back then, just for the sake they were women they were not allowed to study cause if they will study they might be able to recognize the difference between, what is right and what is wrong, isn't it? All they were supposed to do was, give birth to a new life, which would be better if a boy resides in that womb cause again if she would be a girl they would have to search for someone who could keep her cause of course she had no right over her own body.
Now, if I am talking about my grandma's childhood then this incident isn't older than 70 years so if you go deep and think a little further what would have been the Challenges those would have faced by Maa Savitri Bai Phule some 180 years ago, to think only about it is so frightening but she did, she didn't quit and ultimately she won!
She never discriminated between, The so-called Upper Caste and The lower caste as she belonged to the Shudra Community and knew how it felt to be discriminated against based on the family you are born in, for her anyone sitting in her class was a student seeking enlightenment, and nothing more.
The Concepts of Women Education, Saving Girl Child, Mid-day Meals in schools for Backward Children, Scholarships for poor and needy students may sound like concepts being introduced by some government at a particular time but they were all introduced by her, cause for her if you are women and you're educated and healthy you would make a whole generation ahead of yours educated and nurtured.
Today, On her 190th Birth Anniversary, I Bow Down to and Thank her for all she did, so that today I could convey my thoughts to all of you.
"स्वाभिमान से जीने के लिए पढ़ाई करो, पाठशाला ही इंसान का सच्चा गहना है।" सावित्री बाई फुले।
IF YOU ARE A GIRL AND YOU COULD READ THIS, THANK HER.
When her father said, "concentrate on studies, not music." She whispered a 'yes' There was a tinge of sadness in her voice A tinge in the voice, a ton in the heart.
When her teacher said, "why don't you just stay at home?!" For scoring less in the exam, she whispered a 'sorry' There was a tinge of sadness in her voice A tinge in the voice, a ton in the heart.
When a 40-year-old lady in the city bus said "It's the way you dress that gives the men the idea to rape" with a cringe, "Right" she whispered There was a tinge of sadness in her voice A tinge in the voice, a ton in the heart.
When a relative of her's said to her mother "Why to bother letting her study MBBS, she's a girl!" She laughed it off, But, there was a tinge of sadness in her voice A tinge in the voice, a ton in the heart.
When her mother said "We all should marry someone at some point of time, and no marriage is a happy marriage" talking about the guy who once bullied her, she whispered an "okay, mom," there was a tinge of sadness in her voice A tinge in the voice, a ton in the heart.
When her mother-in-law yelled, "My son is too good for you, he married you out of pity," she whispered a "sorry, mummy Ji" There was a tinge of sadness in her voice A tinge in the voice, a ton in the heart.
When her husband, after coming home at night, says "Don't bother with dinner, I already had, with my friends," even without asking if she had. Her reply is "Sure" always. There was a tinge of sadness in her voice A tinge in the voice a ton in the heart.
When her girl friend asked, "How are you doing?" "I'm fine, just like you." She replied There was a tinge of sadness in her voice A tinge in the voice a ton in the heart.