nis_had

insta: nishad_g_h scribbling account:nis_had_written

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  • nis_had 3w

    Over the mountains, she ran through
    To see her rocket fuelling up,
    Above the horizon, like an arrow,
    Cutting through the rainbow, seperating the clouds.

    She saw a wooden face at the rocket window, with no toys nor braids,
    Looking into her eyes, round and broad,
    It haven't seen a sculptor, since ages.

    "Her eyes are twinkling,
    but who knows why?
    With a smile on her face,
    or is it a scar?"

    She tried not to look at the projectile,
    But some voices pierced her ears,
    Some thoughts slicing her eyelids,
    She would have cried if she had some tears left.

    The rocket left the horizon, spreading the smoke,
    but she could still see that little girl beside her,
    carrying her doll, with a little smile that wants to linger until the end.
    ©nis_had

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    Rocket.

    ©nis_had

  • nis_had 3w

    All I want to do
    Is to sit cross to you
    In that narrow rowing boat
    To see the nights and lights,
    The rises and the sets,
    The tides and the waves
    hugging one over another
    Watching the twilight
    Wiping herself,
    To see the stars,
    Shining as your eyes,
    To see the moon,
    As beautiful as you
    And your smile
    Igniting the life
    Inside me.
    To dive into the water
    To take the pearl and the gems
    Let the breeze lead our way
    I don't want again to be a solitary voyager
    I wasn't until I saw you
    Realization Is what you
    had bestowed upon me.
    And I am destined to see you
    At the infinity of my boat,
    A cursed wish, an unfulfilled dream.
    A stanza for a poem, an unfading reminiscence.

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    What I want to do

    ©nis_had

  • nis_had 5w

    Some wounds may seem small.
    But They would be so deep in reality

  • nis_had 7w

    The worst part of love is when one takes a piece of your broken heart and breaks it again.

    ©nis_had

  • nis_had 19w

    "This world had ended a long time ago" Her former voices began to resonate in her ears, "Let's start now or it would be too late".

    'Maybe it's too late?' She asked herself.

    It was only a few days since she received the warmth of the light and the fragrance of the earth.
    Her bones had beginning to soften, and her eyes are dry.
    The days of eating her lifespan and the drinking her tears are over. Can't figure out what to do next.

    Her lungs opened very slowly to breathe.

    She raised her weak hands and looked up.' It hurts but I can slowly raise my hand.'
    Someone had cut off her head. The lips cannot utter words nor the eyes cannot sleep.

    The wooden chairs in the room were beginning to spread their roots to the ground. She could not even imagine to how many people does the smell of rust sticking to her nails lead to.

    The body had adapted to pain.

    Her friends were bamboo sticks and canes. No one else liked her as much as they hugged her.

    Her jewelry was the iron chains. Sometimes it was wrapped around her like bracelets, sometimes like anklets and waist ornaments.

    “This world had ended a long time ago.
    So let's end this now or it would be too late "
    She could not even recognize her change of heart.

    With a torn body, she slowly crawled to pick up a small knife.she slowly tried to lower it into her nerves.
    don’t know if it was because it wasn’t time, and there was no bleeding from the wounds.


    Helplessness came over one shoulder and began to sway.

    She came out of that small backyard in the middle of the sand dunes.
    She rolled the distant sky in her left hand.
    She made a cut, aiming for the clouds.
    The blue sky that spread in the morning suddenly gave way to the red setting sky.

    She crept through the torn clouds and disappeared forever from this world that had ended.

    A new world.

    A world surrounded by great walls.
    The northern sun is roaring over a flat surface.
    In the distance, there is a valley with flower vines and gardens.
    A small world of serenity.
    A small carpet of immense thoughts.
    A handful of faceless human figures living there.
    Many of them hugged her.
    For the first time in her life, she recognized that feeling.
    That feeling went from her fingers to her brain.
    A feeling that gave the brain a frenzy.
    Messages from the addicted brain went through the nerves and into the feet.

    The scorching sun, the unrelenting rain, and the unrelenting cold were disappearing into her days.
    Slowly her walls moved to infinity.
    The alien planet fell from her feet into the abyss.
    She stood up like an angel in the air.

    The fire that lighted up her body kept coming back to her.
    Slowly that niche of light began to flash.
    Infinite lights of miniscule size emerged from all four directions flew at her.

    Light upon light.

    The surrounding air particles, the sand dunes and all the creatures began to play around her.
    One after the another, the earth, the moon and the stars revolved around her.

    Yes
    She is the sun today.
    And tomorrow.
    ©nis_had

  • nis_had 20w

    Probe

    Webbed roof, glimpse of light,
    Infinite floaters, and silent yells,
    Bodies heavier, drenched in sweat,
    Gasping lungs and no one else.
    Flickering minds , fading consciousness,
    It's about time I guess?

    My soul may be happy to lose a burden
    Or am I the soul?
    I'm out my room even before I realize,
    through closed windows and shut doors
    To the world I have been watching from my feet,
    Will there be anyone for me to yowl?

    I am free to seek, I am free to find
    But I actually don't know what's on my mind

    Let me see what I haven't seen
    Let me hear what I haven't heard
    Let me know something better
    Better than myself

    Some new colours, oh no
    You'll be a racist before you know
    The sense of justice to uphold,
    But my words are already sealed-
    With money and gold.

    A new land I guess?
    Nah, all I need was six foot no less
    Rights to choose, live and say--
    "That's enough traitor! , you are on our way!"

    And before i quit
    I tried to find myself back inside me.
    And all I could find was darkness,
    Niches of blackout inside me, blooming, branching and carving up

    I am the night Inside out.
    But I embrace them
    As they are the ones
    who showed me the light.

    I had wandered enough
    To find me a sculptor
    To mend the stone
    I've been carrying in my chest.

    To lead my way, to follow a path.
    A path I choose only to regret later,
    A path of finding the new,
    Warmth, pounding chests, goosebumps are all I want remember.

    A feeling unreciprocated.
    An expatiating nothingness.
    ©nis_had

  • nis_had 22w

    I have stopped looking for someone who'd love me
    in search for those who would shatter my heart the least
    I have had my rain, I have had my breezes, I have had my hailstorms, i'm waiting for my sun to shine.
    Life would have been easier, if falling again was an option.
    Yet we like to step in the fire and endure the pain.

    The pain itself is ecstacy.
    I've been dead long enough
    To sprout the weeds from me
    Unlike you, whose body, where bees come humming, birds come chirping and animals be in peace with you.
    What have I done? I have been a person , ideal for life, yet, I am gonna die the death I am uncertain about.

    The pain itself is ecstacy.
    Pain is ecstacy for those who endure love
    Pain is ecstacy for those who seeks peace
    Pain is ecstacy for those who wanna smile in the end
    Pain is ecstacy for those who are willing to die
    Pain is what making me move forward.
    Pain is what I have stamped in my heart and brain
    My heart and brain are in a battle,
    Thud! Whack! Crack! and rattle.
    I'm confused on what I should think or feel
    Because I even don't know whether I could heal.
    Life would have been easier if falling again was an option.
    And as these lines are flowing to my mind,
    I wanna plug in my earphones and kick out my thoughts,
    Only to realise not only every sound reminds me of my path but I am the path itself.

    From past to present, step by step.
    I have been a thinker, I have been a worker,
    but the thinker inside me had killed my worker, not knowing the consequences that rests,
    With only hope that everything was for the best.
    ©nis_had

  • nis_had 22w

    It was a Saturday night
    With no music, no lights,
    Darkness crawled to her feet
    Couldn't say whether it was to maltreat
    Isolated, still and lone
    She sat on her bed
    as if it was her time to be dead.

    The seed of thoughts
    she sowed in her mind
    Sprouted suddenly
    and nurtured of emptiness.
    Her mind bloomed
    like wild flowers,
    creeping in the dark,
    running through the bark
    The shadows around her
    was her blackboard,
    She started painting it
    with the tip of her mind

    'A cliff, some blown away leaf
    And a pretty girl was there,
    Looking to the endless sky
    Her eyes were concealed
    By a black clothed ribbon,
    While the brushes
    lied behind her
    Her limbs covered
    in red roses and tulips,
    Her body was a garden
    Of emotions '

    A piece of art , in the canvas of her heart,
    She woke up in her room,
    with moist skin and pounding chest,
    Strengthened by the expanse of herself.

    Her Painting was hanged on her walls
    Oblivious to admire or not,
    In her room of infinite doors,
    Closed one after other.

    She moved towards her windowsill
    Looking to the horizon once again.
    Her soliloquy was poised,
    'Tonight the stars shine bright'

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    ©nis_had

  • nis_had 28w

    The wayfarer words

    As I stamped my boots over the snowy ground on a valley in my path towards the mountain pass, I couldn't stop the reminiscence about the footsteps I had left behind.

    I have been walking for long.  Longer since I can remember. Still I couldn't find a reason to stop.

    I had lost enough weight, sauntering in the sunny days through the sizzling sands of the solitary scorches. But the soothing desert nights are the lullaby for an explorer.

    Hope is the fuel of a desert traveller. Scattered oases are the seduction of these barren lands.

    Illusion of the mirage sometimes feels like a betrayer of nature but those optical illusions are one of the thoughts that keep a voyager move forward.

    Above my head, it was the seven heavens and its expanse. Beneath my feet, it is the dry and dreadful unbounded ground of sand. And there was a tiny spec of my existence between them.

     Walking in the deserts had bought me self realization and a chance to rethink of my arrogance. My pilgrimage to the deserts weren't to find a mosque built there, but to find the mosque built within, deep down inside me.

    I have been drenching myself in the downpours of the tropical forest; the forest dawns are to wake up and refresh ourselves whereas the daytime are extensively hot and humid.

    The surroundings of the rainforests are both visually and audibly pleasing. The humming of the bees, chirping of the birds, howling of the monkeys, crying of the crickets, croaking of the frogs, and chorus of a vast variety of species known and unknown to mankind, creating an orchestra of noises. Moreover, they turn their noises not into music but something more exciting which are obviously feasts to ears.

    Cruising and shivering through the snows of the frosted tundra, it makes me want to be a bear, hibernating deep down the earth. The surface topography almost resembles an old person whose half bald head is trimmed unprofessionally.

    The exotica of diversity and the irregularities in the photoperiods make it more unique. The memories I had made from many places, are just flashing before my eyes, one after another.

    And yet now I am crawling the uphill of a mountain, reflecting about my past and struggling on a present with future uncertain.

    The cold breezes from the south suddenly stroked me back to my senses. Coldness had started piercing through my layers of clothes and I was lucky it couldn't freeze my mind or soul.

    It's been a while since I had started hiking up the hill but the shuffling of thoughts in my mind actually made the time to slip along faster. And that's how even reality works. Our interests and enthusiasm in our works are something that defines the pace of that work. In other words, Time gives value to our life when our sluggishness leads to liability.

    The steepness of the hill started to decline slowly. It seems like the viewpoint destination is near. Walking and filling my mind with thoughts, I reached the top of the mountain in no time. It was the moment. The moment where many inexpressible feelings ran through my veins.

    For the last time, I closed my eyes.

    Embracing the nature, glorifying the moment, after a split second I felt the warm light sliding into my eyes that helped me not to miss the moment. The refraction of the horizon was the announcer of the sun. Slowly but steadily, the earth bowed itself for the emergence of the sun. The warm light felt better after the snowy steps taken so far, enlightening and enriching me. I had found my peace and that peace is what made me linger in that mountain top a little bit longer.

    I lain my back on the ground and started to gaze the blue skies. The sky is so blue that I can count the floaters that I can see with my eyes.

    I was really a socially awkward person back then and had really visualised these scenery before, usually when I spent time for myself. But the reality was incompetent to my imaginations. I always thought solitude and loneliness where the same. But it was this moment I realized how much deep and powerful was being in solitude compared to loneliness. And this solitude is what that has been helping me till now to get absorbed into the nature and creating a world for myself through self love.



     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     
    ©nis_had(Muhammed Nishad G H)

  • nis_had 33w

    The scream of the silence
    Seiged her by swift
    Her mind is Soaked
    with shame and stigma

    Her body had eaten
    Enough of herself
    Her words sealed
    Within her throat.

    Eyes are glued up and down
    To never ever close Once again
    To never ever see those faces

    Is this really the end?
    "This too shall Pass away"
    Said the Inner voice

    "Let the rain fall over me
    To wash away my sins ",
    But still, she ain't wet.

    "Oh you who had carved out my breasts,
    Let me take my mallet and pointed chisel
    To carve out the finest statue
    From your dead hearts.

    Let me!

    Carve!

    Let me sow my seeds of dreams
    Nurture them with hope and faith
    Reap 'em with strength and might.

    To fill my scars, to mend my body
    To close my eyes, to fall asleep
    To be at peace,
    for once and
    forever"

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    To heal

    ©nis_had