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  • nehadvn_7 25w

    Live without me, love.
    There was stillness for a moment and then she said, "Karthik?"
    "Please don't get mad at me. I did this because I didn't want to concern you all. I am sorry. But please, be there. My parents will need you. Please, console them when they will get anxious. Please, make them understand."
    I placed my hand on her "Don't worry, I will."

    That was certainly a heavy day. Her parents never imagined that destiny could be this much unfair to Zeenat. Her mother who counterfeited how strong she is in front of her daughter, wept at her absence and I calmed her. Life is indeed short. Fame and money are not everything. The connections we share matters the most.
    I wasn't able to come out of the trauma. But I still wanted to love her. I wanted to give her all the happiness which she never got. Man.....I wanted her agony to be mine.

    8th October 2014
    "You should go now, Karthik. You have your own life, you have your own family, you have your career. You should not waste your time here. Look maa, papa is with me. They will take care of me. You should go." She said.
    I didn't want to vacate her but I had to. On the very next day, I took off for Bangalore. Before departing, I gifted her a container of roshogolla and a small card where I penned my heart out, where I proposed to her to marry me. I knew she won't accept it even though she wants to because, for her, others happiness and life matters the most.
    She forbade me to inform Noor about her health because she didn't want her to leave the vital time of her studies and come back to Kolkata to take care of her sister.

    Days without her went incomplete. I missed her. I cursed the distance but I had to take care of her children. I mean the lovely kids of her NGO. She gave me the responsibility to take care of them which I did with all my heart.

    11th January 2015
    It was her birthday and how could I forget that. To give her a surprise, I took the grandma with me whom Zeenat loved like her Nani, the Grandma of that old age home we toured on 7th August.
    We were sitting in her drawing-room when she came. She was wearing a light pink cotton nightgown and a scarf on her head. That gleam in her eyes was absent and discerning her like that was hurting me. She hugged the grandma and then came to me. She held my hands and asked me to sit.

    In the evening she wore a frock and got ready to cut the cake but the scarf was still on her head. It was not a grand party but certainly a delicate one because Zeenat was happy. And seeing her smile makes me pleased too.

    Meanwhile, at night, I and Zeenat were taking a walk on her lawn when I asked her the reason for wearing the scarf on her head.
    She smiled and took out the scarf. Tears filled her eyes.

    She lost her hair, she was bald. For a second I strived to visualize her pain and that took the heart out from my body. I kissed her palms and continued walking.
    "What about my proposal, Ms Professor?"
    She laughed and said, "I thought seeing me like this...seeing me look so ugly, you will abhor me." She sighed, tear rolled down from her cheeks. Her voice got low when she said "But you are still asking about the proposal?"

    I kissed her on the forehead, "You still look beautiful. I loved Zeenat for the way she is and I will keep loving you, the way you are."
    She smiled but the eyes failed to disguise the tears. Her voice cracked when she said, "I don't have much time. I am in the last stage. promise me that you are going to take care of everyone." She halted and swallowed the sorrow, "I have named my NGO on Noor's name. Till she grows up and become capable of putting up with all the responsibilities, please take care of my NGO the way I used to take care. The children there...when they will ask about are going to tell them that I have become the star of my moon."

    Her eyes glittered with tears. I cupped her face and wiped the gloom. "Please, don't say all this. May you get my life to..." She placed her finger on my lips and hushed me.
    "Don't you dare? May you get the best."
    There was stillness and long eye contact.
    I was lost in her beauty. I wanted her to be mine. I wished to become the sky of my moon.

    Then I cupped her face and caressed my lips on her. Realizing what I just did, I flinched, "I am sorry. I..I... Didn't mean to do that...I..."
    She placed her hand on my shoulder and kissed me softly on the lips, "I know." be continued


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    Live Without Me, Love

  • nehadvn_7 27w

    Live without me, love.
    I was tensed for Zeenat as a lot of time passed but she didn't come and then I saw her appearing out from the mansion, rubbing her tears. She saw me but she didn't halt and stepped out of the gate. I went behind her.


    4th October 2014
    She took the car and faded from my eye's sight but I knew where to find her. I ordered a cab and left for the same park we met Naksh and his daughter first time. Zeenat was there sitting on a bench and gazing at the moon.
    "Zeenat, Are you okay?" I asked and she nodded in yes.
    I sat beside her. I assumed right that she was lost in her flashbacks but I needed her to come out of that so I initiated a conversation.
    "Moon is so soothing" She swivelled and hugged me fiercely. She burst out in tears and wasn't able to halt. I caressed her back and tried to comfort her.
    "I want to come out of this. It Karthik...I...I not happy." She was sobbing hysterically. She started gasping and coughing at the same time.
    "Calm yourself, Zeenat."
    Her situation was exacerbating, she was taking short breaths and that made me apprehensive. Then suddenly she puked blood and got swooned.

    In that situation all I cared about was Zeenat. Immediately, I drove to the nearby hospital and got her admitted. While the doctor and nurses were attending to her, my psyche wasn't in its place. My mind began concluding the reason. Did she consume anything unhealthy at the party? Did someone mistreat her? Is she fine? What will the doctor say?

    After half an hour, the doctor came out and I asked him, "How is she doctor? Is everything fine?"
    He sighed and replied, "She needs to take a rest. You need to take serious care of her. She is undergoing cancer. Second stage. Make sure with physical fitness, she also gets much mental peace. Prevent her from crossing other stages."

    I was numb. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to respond. My vision was darkening. All of a sudden the memories spent with her started emerging. What will I tell her? How will I confront her? How will she feel after hearing this? How will she react? What about her family? How her parents will respond? And Noor? How will she handle herself after listening to this? A lot went through my mind at that moment. Her mother called.

    "Karthik beta, where are you people? Why isn't Zeenat answering my calls? My heart is pounding? Is everything alright?"

    I didn't know how to deal with her but I feared her health will get impacted after hearing about this so I thought to tell her in person.
    "Aunty, we are at Shivalika's place. Zeenat is with her downstairs and I am upstairs. We might get a little late. Please don't worry, I will tell her to phone you."
    "Beta, please try to come soon. Her father is getting angry."

    5th October 2014
    They discharged Zeenat at the dawn and I took her home. While we were on our way, she asked me, "What did the doctor say, Karthik?"
    I retorted saying that nothing much. She just needs rest but she didn't believe me and kept asking me.
    I sighed and said, "They say you are suffering from cancer."
    "Which stage?" She asked. I looked at her. She didn't seem shocked. She was expressionless. "What? What do you mean?" I asked her.
    "I know that I am having cancer but I want to know which stage? Did it exceed?"
    "Second." I paused and said "You knew about it but you didn't tell me? Does anybody in the home know? Or you found it not mandatory enough to inform anybody?"
    "Hey! Why are you getting furious? I didn't tell anybody because that wasn't the right time to say it. They would have cared for me like a patient who is going to die soon. I didn't want them to get tensed."

    There was stillness for a moment and then she said, "Karthik?"
    "Please don't get mad at me. I did this because I didn't want to concern you all. I am sorry. But please, be there. My parents will need you. Please, console them when they will get anxious. Please, make them understand."
    I placed my hand on her "Don't worry, I will." be continued


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    Live Without Me, Love

  • nehadvn_7 31w

    Live without me, love.
    We drove to Naksh's place for the party.


    4th October 2014
    I was reasonably unhappy for her that she will have to deal with her memories again but this was the accurate time to take her out of the past too. So we went to the address and the guard received us the way he was receiving other guests.

    We entered the way which carried us to an elegant mansion that had an impressive garden with a gorgeous spouting fountain in the middle and the water lighted in numerous colours and was soothing to the eyes. It felt more like a resort, I was astounded by the success of Naksh at such a young age.
    Many known businessmen and women were having a good time in the garden. A beer and wine counter was also there and the waiters were assisting the guests at their table. And there Shivalika came to us in a beautiful dress and a lovely smile.
    "Hey! Welcome. I was eagerly waiting for you guys." She hugged Zeenat, "You are looking amazing." Zeenat too complimented her with a soft smile.
    "Is this a Garden party?" I expected and she nodded in yes.
    I strode my eyes here and there but didn't find Naksh so I asked her, "Where is Naksh?"
    She replied, "He must be here only busy with his daughter."
    Then he arrived at us with his daughter in his arm. Kavya looked like the smallest version of Zeenat. Cute and made of love. With enthusiasm, Kavya stretched her arms as if she wished to go to Zeenat and started babbling, "bablaa..taadii."
    Zeenat smiled and took Kavya in her arms.
    "Guess Kavya wants to befriend Zeenat." Shivalika said and we giggled.

    We congratulated Naksh and were having a good time. Shivalika and Naksh introduced us to many people. I could see Zeenat was now getting comfortable with the situation.
    Naksh and Shivalika got involved in attending other people and here I got a lot of time to spend with Zeenat.
    "Should I bring something for you to eat?" I asked her
    "Nope, I am okay."
    "Umm...your hands must be aching. Let me take Kavya for a while." But it seemed Kavya didn't want to go to anyone. She commenced crying and wasn't halting even after trying our best.
    "I think it's time to change her diaper. I need to find Shivalika." Zeenat said.
    "Shall I join you?"
    "No need, you be here. It won't take much time."

    *Author's narration*

    Zeenat roamed to find Shivalika and she saw her at the counter of foods.
    "Shivalika, I guess Kavya needs to change the diaper," Zeenat said.
    "Oh! Zeenat, I am busy here with guests. Naksh is inside, can you please go and tell him. I am so sorry I am troubling you."
    "It's alright. Not a problem."
    Zeenat made her way inside the mansion which was quite big enough for her to find Naksh. She didn't discover him downstairs so she ascended upstairs calling his name. There he was in his bedroom arranging some business files. Zeenat knocked at the door though it was open.
    "Naksh, Baby's diaper needs to be changed." She said
    Naksh took Kavya from her, "Oh my baby...ssh don't cry. Dad is gonna change your diaper."
    Naksh laid her on the bed, took out a diaper from the drawer and changed it.

    Zeenat was there adoring both father and daughter, "I am happy for you." She said.
    Naksh smiled and answered, "I am happy for you too."
    "Umm...I didn't understand."
    "I am happy that you chose to move on. Karthik is a nice guy. I have discerned love in his eyes for you." He said
    "We are just...just friends." She dropped her eyes and said in despair as if she feared that her statement of not moving on might hurt Naksh.
    Naksh smiled and said in pain, "I always told you that it will hurt me seeing you like this. I know it's difficult but moving on is better than living with the memories of a person. Anyways I understand and I believe you will move on soon coz my Zee...." He ceased when he realized what he was going to say "I mean I know you. You are strong."
    There was a hush for a period and then Naksh tried to cheer up the air, "Well! I am amazed. Your likings are changed. I mean you used to love ethnic attire."
    "I still love. It's just today I thought I should wear something of your standard. I mean your friends, clients are of higher prominence so if I will wear ethnic, I might look out of the box."
    "No, your ethnicity illustrates your personality. And from when did Zeenat start caring about people?"
    Zeenat sighed and her voice cracked as she said, "From the very moment, this world made me realize that the fortune is not in our hand. It's the people who decide what's written in one's fate."
    Naksh came to her and held her hands, "You are so much changed. Childlike Zeenat has grown into a mature girl with time. Look what I did to you." Naksh laughed at his fate and said with guilt in his eyes, "I killed your innocence. I weakened your life. I destroyed yo..."
    "Ssh!!" Zeenat cupped his face and said, "It's not you. Please, don't criticize yourself. It's me who chose this."
    They both took steps closer and touched their forehead, "I miss you." She said as her tear rolled down her cheeks.
    Naksh cupped her face and brushed her tears, "Don't. It will hurt me." Then they brought their face close to each other, without breaking eye contact and they were about to kiss but they both winced as they realized that their destiny is no more united. Their journey was separate then. They took their steps back.
    "I am sorry." They said concurrently. Zeenat wiping her tears, made her way out of the room.
    "Zeenat!" Naksh called her but she didn't stop.

    *Character's Narration*

    I was tensed for Zeenat as a lot of time passed but she didn't come and then I saw her appearing out from the mansion, rubbing her tears. She saw me but she didn't halt and stepped out of the gate. I went behind her. be continued.


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  • nehadvn_7 32w

    Heya! People. How are you all? Sorry, I was unable to write for months due to exam pressure.
    After a long time, I am back with a new chapter of "Live without me, love". Hope you will enjoy it.

    Live without me, love.

    The prologue commences when our narrator, Karthik is seen in a cemetery with her would to be, Latika. Latika asks her about the purpose of visit over there and then he narrates a story of his past.
    The story initiates in chapter-1 from his college days in Bangalore where he meets a Bengali girl, Zeenat Khan and falls in love at first sight. Being desperate to know her, he tries his best to become her friend and eventually he gets to know that the girl is not only a professor but also an honour of a famous NGO named, "Zeenaksh Destitute Children Foundation". He starts finding excuses to meet her and he starts noticing that there is something that keeps her disturbed and most of the time she gets fallen into her thoughts. The entry of a new character who is Zeenat's sister and coincidentally Karthik's friend, Noor, answers a lot of unsolved questions. With her assistance, Karthik gets to know how tragic Zeenat's past was.
    One night in a club, however, he disbands his relationship and confesses to Zeenat. Zeenat, helpless to come out of the past's trauma couldn't take another concussion. She flees to her hometown without notifying anybody and Karthik looking for her, arrives in Kolkata where he meets her parents.
    Interval starts with the entrance of another character, Naksh who is Zeenat's past and it generates a new curve to the story. Naksh is married and is blessed with a beautiful 5 months daughter whose name is Kavya. They meet him in a park.
    In the previous chapter, it was seen that Durga Puja has commenced and the characters Karthik and Zeenat scheduled to celebrate Ashtami together and they go to a restaurant where they encounter Naksh again but this time with his wife and daughter too.
    (To get emotionally connected with the characters, please read the earlier chapters because the flashbacks and the dialogues will be needed to understand the upcoming chapters)


    2nd October 2014
    We turned our head back and my heart again skipped a beat. Her husband was no other but Naksh. He came and sat on his chair which was opposite to Zeenat, carrying the baby in his arm.
    I saw Zeenat and felt the discomfort she was going through at that moment.
    I guess Naksh too saw the despair in her eyes and to make her relaxed he started heaving a few funny topics.

    After having few talks, Naksh's wife, Shivalika said to Naksh, "Love, why don't we invite them to the party?"
    He nodded his head, "Sure."
    Then she turned to us and said, "Naksh has made a big profit in business so he is throwing a party the day after tomorrow. Why don't you guys join us? It will be fun?"
    Zeenat was about to repudiate the plan but I intruded and said yes to them. I knew she will despise it but I wanted her to get used to it. I needed her to see that he is happy now. He has moved on and that might enable her to move on too.

    4th October 2014
    The celebration was about to inaugurate in the twilight and I already made my mind that whatever occurs, I will certainly take Zeenat with me. She might feel apprehensive but this was the moment where I can help her to come out of her past and look at the other options.
    I called her, "Shall I come to pick you up?"
    "For what?" She replied with a startled tone.
    "You forgot? Shivalika invited us na? Don't fret she has already mailed me her house address. She is very excited."
    "No, Karthik. I am not feeling well. You can go."
    After much persuasion, however, she ultimately agreed to go.
    I wore a grey shirt and a black waistcoat over it for the party. A pair of grey pants matched it. To perfect the look I wore a pair of formal shoes and for the final touch, I harmonized a grey tie and a black leather belt. Adjusting my hair and applying Gucci oud, I was ready for the party.

    I reached her place to pick her up and to my wonder, I saw a Barbie doll succeeding towards me in a pink coloured off-shoulder, knee-length frock. Her pearl earrings were ample to slaughter the look. Her hair was tied in a high pony and she wore pretty heels to finish off the look. An elegant pink clutch purse matched with her dress flawlessly.

    We drove to Naksh's place for the party. be continued



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  • nehadvn_7 54w

    Live without me, love

    He took the baby from Zeenat's hand and said, "I am so sorr...."
    He ceased. They both were looking at each other. And then something surprising occurred. Zeenat muttered slowly, "Naksh."
    And my heart missed a beat.


    21st September 2014
    "You..uh..i.." She stammered. It seemed as if she was indecisive of what to say.
    "Nice to meet you after so long, Zeenat." Naksh brought his left hand ahead for a handshake, carrying the baby with his right hand.
    She shook her hand with him and said, "Same here."
    "How are you?" He asked.
    " good." She replied.
    He was about to say or maybe ask something but she halted, "Umm...I gotta go. Maa is waiting. Hope to see you again."
    "What? Where are you going?" I muttered slowly.
    "I'll catch you up later, Karthik." She awkward smile and left.

    I was about to leave too but before that, I looked at him, he smiled and I smiled back.

    29th September 2014
    I was homesick seeing the hustle and bustle all around the Kolkata for the start of Durga Puja.
    I wished to go back but the thought of vacating Zeenat alone when she needed me the most, stayed me.
    I was having my breakfast when my phone buzzed. A natural curve on my lips arose seeing her name on my phone's screen.
    "Hello! Karthik. How are you?" She asked.
    "Am good," I answered.
    "Umm...would you mind having street foods or maybe pandal hopping on Ashtami? Together?" She asked.
    "Okay. Meet you then?!" It was reasonably surprising but I was happy.

    2nd October 2014
    I was blessed getting the opportunity to enjoy Navratri in Kolkata. Well! I didn't bring many clothes with me so I wore the same clothes.
    She rang me and asked me to wait for her at the nearby bus stop.

    "Hey!" She arrived. As always outfitted in the most adorable attire. She looked like an incarnation of Maa Durga in that White saree with a red and yellow border.
    " we are gonna travel on the bus today. Are you okay with that?"
    "Uhh..yeah!! Anything is fine to me."
    "Mmhm..but I should let you know that buses in Kolkata are way too crowded particularly in festivals."
    "Well! No problem...I will manage it."

    Luckily, we didn't have to wait for long coz soon the bus arrived. We entered and struggled to find a better place to stand coz the seats were full and a lot of crowds were standing, clutching the grab handles.

    I was standing beside her, looking at her when I noticed that she was uncomfortable as a man was purposely loose hanging himself to touch her. And being a man it was my duty to protect her. I pushed the crowd a bit and came in front of her, asked her to walk back and stand resting herself in the corner. I put my hands on her side so that not a single body could touch her not even unintentionally. She smiled and sighed.

    The bus stopped giving a sudden jerk and I missed my balance, my body was about to hit her but I managed to control myself by clasping the grab handle tightly. My face was inches away from her and it was a long eye contact till she moved her face and glanced outside the window near her.
    The bus arrived at our destination and with us, a lot of people got off the bus.

    "So? Where are we going now?" I asked her
    "I am hungry. Let's have some street foods."
    "Mhmm okay but I won't eat. You know I am not that fond of street foods. Umm....I am a little conscious of my fitness but I won't stop you eating."
    "Nothing happens by eating one day. Trust me you will enjoy it."
    My heart didn't want to refuse her but I haven't ever had street foods so I was feeling weird.

    I wished she could understand and to my surprise, she did understand. "Mhmm...your silence is speaking that you are not comfortable eating outside. It's okay." She smiled. "Let's go to a restaurant then."

    There was an elegant restaurant just a short walk away. We entered, but unfortunately, all the tables were occupied. The Manager saw us at the gate and greeted us with the host over there.
    "Good evening, Miss Zeenat. How are you?"
    "I am good, Uncle." She smiled.
    "I am sorry, Miss Zeenat. All the tables are engaged. But there are two seats left over there at the other stranger's table." He pointed the finger at the table where a woman was sitting but we couldn't see her as we were confronting her back.
    "If you agree then we will talk to them else I will try to manage something else for you, Ma'am."
    "It's okay. Why will you talk, Uncle? We will take the permission."
    The manager smiled and ordered the host to guide us to the table.

    "How does the manager know you?" I asked her.
    "He is my father's friend." She replied.

    "Excuse me, Ma'am," Zeenat said.
    That lady was certainly beautiful. "Would you mind if we join you at the table?"
    The lady smiled and said, "Of course, please have your seats."
    And we sat. "We don't mind meeting new people." She said and smiled.
    "We?" I asked.
    "Oh! Yes. I am not alone. I have come here with my husband and child. Umm..he is in the restroom, changing our baby's diaper. Oh! There they are."

    We turned our head back and my heart again skipped a beat. Her husband was no other but Naksh. He came and sat on his chair which was opposite to Zeenat, carrying the baby in his arm.
    I saw Zeenat and felt the discomfort she was going through at that moment.

    to be continued....


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  • nehadvn_7 59w

    Clasping her clothes circle in hand
    Cinderella stepped the stairs
    That would lead to her man.
    He was at its end,
    Spreading arms to hold her tight.
    Her prince was tied by the thread of pride.
    She sprained her leg
    And broke the glass slipper.
    No, she didn't perceive the cliff-hanger.
    She expected his hand to seize her
    And keep her from falling.
    But her prince
    Beguiled her path and left her wailing.
    Stuck by the dogmas of this society,
    He left her in the middle.
    She wished she could undo that moment
    When her devotion was belittled.

    Alas! She is falling apart
    In the abyss of the satan's heart.
    //Not all princes are Prince charming//

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    Not all princes are Prince Charming


  • nehadvn_7 63w

    Sip the coffee, enjoy the read.

    Karwa Chauth

    "Bzzt..." My phone vibrated when I was in a meeting. I texted her, "In a meeting. Will call you in some times."

    "The name should be in bold letters," I said to the henna artist.
    My phone buzzed. I asked the henna artist to pick up the call for me and put it on speaker.
    "Hey! Love. I am sorry I was in a meeting." He said.
    "Well! You should be sorry. I took leave today as it is our first Karwa Chauth and you went to the office without even waking me up."
    "Umm...I am sorry for that but look cute while resting and also you are fasting so I didn't want to wake you up."
    "Aww...but uh..don't flatter coz it will not work and you are gonna come back home before Mr Moon comes. Okay?"
    "Mmhmm. I promise." He said.

    I wondered what she must be doing. Maybe assembling meal or getting ready or umm....doing her favourite task of getting lost in her thoughts. I purchased a gift for her hoping it will bring a smile on her face. And that was all I could do although it was nothing in front of what she was doing for my long being.

    I was on my way when a text from her popped up, "Where are you?"
    "On my way."
    "The door is open. Your kurta is on the bed. Get fresh, put on the dress and come right to the terrace, I am waiting there."
    "Why did you leave the door open? It's not safe na."
    While waiting for her answer, I didn't realize when I arrived home.
    I did as she said, unlocked the door and went to the bedroom. The bedroom was adorned so beautifully with aromatic candles and rose petals and lanterns hung on the canopy.
    I changed my clothes and went to the terrace. Well! I was late as the moon was already there wearing his luxurious glow. She came from behind and snuggled me.

    I turned to her and damn! She was draping a red coloured graceful saree in Bengali style. Her little red bindi with a stone on it was spotted on the middle of her forehead, perpendicular to the vermilion she applied and that reminded me of our wedding procession. She harmonized her earrings and bangles flawlessly with the colour of my kurta. Her eyes under the moon looked hypnotizing and were the evidence of her await for me.

    I kissed her on the eyes and said, "You are beautiful."
    She smiled.

    My cheek glowed when I saw him. I was fascinated. It was our first karwa Chauth and my husband wearing that golden kurta I selected, seemed as if he was vying with the moon.
    He kissed me on the forehead and said, "Let's start the rituals."
    He took the thali from my hand and asked me to radiate the earthen candle safely. I put the burned diya on the rim of the sieve and saw the moon through it. It was stunning. Stunning is not an acceptable word to narrate the glamour moon was holding. And then I saw him through it.

    She blushed and made me redden too. Her eyes were conveying the emotions and butterflies she had inside her at that time.
    After that, she did all the rituals and then I made her drink the water and break her fast.
    She took the Kalash of water from my hand and carried it to my mouth, "You too break your fast." And smiled.
    "I know you have kept fast too." She brushed my jaw and said, "I have got the best husband in the world." I sipped the water too.

    I was fixing my saree when he unexpectedly grabbed me up on his arms. I wormed my hand around his neck while holding the puja thali with the other hand. He descended to the dining table and made me sit on the chair.
    He served the dishes and we ate on the same plate. I was in cloud 9.
    "I must have done some good chore in the previous birth, only then I met you in this birth," I said.
    He brushed his lips with mine and kissed me softly, "My silly beautiful wifey."

    Meanwhile, when I was putting off my jewellery, he cuddled me from behind. And made me sit on the bed.
    "I have got something for you."
    He sat on the floor and positioned my feet on his lap. He took out a pair of traditional gold anklets from his pocket and put them on my ankles.
    "Gossh!! These are extraordinary." I exclaimed.
    He kissed me on my feet, "Not more than you."
    Then he came up, leaned a little and touched his lips with mine. His hand clasped my waist gently. I held his collar and kissed him deeply. We were lost in the charm of the night.
    "Let me help you, taking off your jewellery and other stuff." He winked and I blushed.

    Soon I found myself protected in his arms with blanket securing our passion of love.



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    Coffee With NJ❤

    Sip the coffee, enjoy the read
    Karwa Chauth

  • nehadvn_7 70w

    Live without me, love

    "Screw this society. You can't force me. And I am not going to meet anybody. If I see any outsider appearing to see me, I will return back to Bangalore." Her face was stormed in anger and then her eye fell on me.

    18th September 2014
    "Karthik? What are you doing over here?"
    "I..i was..."
    "Can we go?" Her brother interrupted.
    "Sure! What are you both staying for? No one is arriving to see me. You can go." Zeenat answered.

    After that, she introduced me to everyone and asked me to have a seat and herself went to the kitchen to bring some snacks for me. Her father vacated for some work and I was here enjoying the company of her mother. She isn't that strict. I found her too sweet. Our talk was going good but then she asked: "What are your opinions about arrange marriage?"

    "Well, Aunty. To be truthful, I prefer love marriage over arrange but yes, arrange marriage can turn in love if the two decides to spend time together before marriage. And it is certainly beautiful. An example is my Mumma and Papa."
    "Exactly, that's what I am struggling to make her understand but she isn't willing. Noor too takes her side. She says it's her wish. Don't force her."
    "Umm...i see."
    "Beta, will you do a favour for me?"
    "Sure, aunty."
    "Please, make Zeenat understand. At least she should meet the guy. After that, it's her choice."
    I could feel her emotions. She just wanted to see her daughter live her life happily.
    "Umm..I don't think so she will listen to me."
    "But what's there in giving a try?"
    She insisted a lot and I agreed to it.

    We had some snacks and I asked her if she could assist me to find a place to stay for a week. We were on our way. She didn't seem happy. She asked, "What's the purpose?"
    "Nothing. Dad asked me to visit regarding some business thing."
    "Oh! I see."

    Throughout the journey, it was totally quiet. We reached and she helped me finalize all the formalities for the stay. I wanted to talk about whatever her mother asked but I was scared.

    However on our way back, I mustered up the courage to ask her but before that, I wanted to apologize to her.
    "Umm...i am sorry Zeenat."
    I was feeling guilty and I couldn't live with a heavy heart.
    "It's alright but let me make one thing clear, Karthik. I can't forget my past. And I am happy living with the memories."
    She again implanted a ton of questions inside my head and the courage to ask her about the arrange marriage broke down.

    21st September 2014
    I wanted to give her own space so I didn't disturb her for a few days. Finally, I called her and asked her to hang out with me to the shopping. I went to pick her.
    I was waiting in the hall room till she got ready but her sister in law was eating my head. She was flirting with me.
    "Arrey, beta. When did you come?" Her mother asked.
    "Just came a while ago, Aunty."
    She sent Zeenat's bhabhi inside and whispered slowly, "Did you do my work? Did you insisted her to meet the guy?"
    "Nope, Aunty. I didn't get the time. Today, I will. For sure."

    I didn't want to insist her to meet any guy. But I did want to know what's stopping her to move on.

    We did shopping together and after that, we went to a restaurant for the lunch.
    While having the food, I asked her, "Umm...would you mind if I give you a suggestion."
    "Regarding what?"
    "Umm...i think you should at least meet the guy once."
    She quit eating, drank the water and replied, "I don't want to. The talk ends over her."
    I gulped down my anxiety. But why did it gets into her nerves when anybody talks about the marriage.

    Anyways, meanwhile, we decided to have a walk in the nearby park. The park was elegant and there were little children playing and I knew she loves kids.
    We were having talks when a cry of a baby grabbed our attention and we saw a newborn girl of around 4-5 months, laying on the pink stroller. She was wearing a pink gown and a baby hat. She was too cute. Her beautiful big eyes were similar to Zeenat.

    "Aww, baby. Where is your Mumma?" Zeenat took the baby in her arms.
    Oh my god. They both looked too adorable. The baby fastened Zeenat's finger in her hand and halted crying. She was calmly staring at Zeenat and eventually gave a candy smile which melted our heart.
    "Where is your Mumma, Princess?" She said.

    "Oh my Kavya. I am so sorry, I am late." A strange, bold voice came from behind.

    A young, not overly muscular man in a navy blue t-shirt and a track pant came, holding a baby milk bottle. He had a flawlessly shaped ducktail beard and that is where I became a bit green-eyed. His round specs fitted perfectly on his sharped nose and his almond eyes which was a bit noticeable under the specs where indeed enchanting and an antique watch on his wrist. He was undoubtedly handsome.

    He took the baby from Zeenat's hand and said, "I am so sorr...."
    He ceased. They both were looking at each other. And then something surprising occurred. Zeenat muttered slowly, "Naksh."
    And my heart missed a beat.

    INTERVAL be continued


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  • nehadvn_7 73w

    Live without me, love
    Kissing sensually they both stripped each other and the temperature of the room rose.
    The moon glowed hearing to the candy moans when they got united.

    10th September 2014

    After a desirable night, they both were laying in each other's arms, draped in a blanket. Placing her head on his arm and fiddling finger on his chest, Zeenat asked, "Will you forget me forever?"
    Trailing her back with his finger, he kissed her on the forehead and answered, "I can never forget you. I will be always there by your side. Protecting you from the evils and leading you to the right path. But..."

    She placed a finger on his lips and said, "I know and I will love you forever."
    He brushed her hairs with his hand and said, "I want a promise."
    "You will stay happy always and will move on."
    She positioned herself and came over him. He encircled his arms around her. "I promise I will stay happy." She passed a soft smile.
    "And will move on?" He heaved his eyebrows up.
    She kissed him on his eyes and replied, "I won't. I don't want to. I am yours and will stay yours forever. I won't be able to love again." Tear clouded her vision.

    "I won't be able to see you suffering alone. I will loathe myself if you spoil your future. I want you to move on and live your life happily." Naksh could feel her anguish. He was in an urge to break down but he caught himself back because he didn't want her eyes to shed tears. He cupped her face, "Love is to experience, love. Experience it and you will love to fall for it again and again. I always say this to you, never fall in love with the person but in love with the moments you live with that person."

    A tear rolled down her cheeks. She didn't want to end it. She wished to stay his forever. "I won't be able to allow myself to anybody else. I am yours. My soul and my body are yours. The day I will get anybody else's, I will die."
    He kissed her on the forehead and said, "Why will you give yourself to anybody? You aren't a piece of flesh. Discerning you deserted will hurt me. I will curse myself. I will die alive."
    She smooched him and said, "Ssshh!" Her tear declined on his chest. He pulled her up. She burst out in tears and said in a shattered voice, "I love you, Naksh. I can't see my future without you."
    He cupped her face and his voice cracked as he said, "LIVE WITHOUT ME, LOVE."


    11th September 2014
    I woke up and got ready to visit Zeenat's place. I phoned her numerous times but her number wasn't reachable. Without having my breakfast, I went directly to her. I rang the bell and waited. There wasn't any response. I rang again and the same happened. Then my eyes went on the door's knob which was locked. I called her again and this time it said: "Switched off".

    I asked her neighbours and got to know that she has taken off to visit her parents in Kolkata. I gave a buzz to Noor and got relaxed to hear that Zeenat has arrived safely.
    I wondered about her immediate purpose for the visit. Was it because of my behaviour? Or was it something else?

    18th September 2014
    A week passed and she didn't return neither was she replying to my calls. I called Noor and got to learn that she went back to the US for her studies and that she doesn't know why Zeenat isn't answering my calls. I wasn't able to manipulate myself. I can't live with a pang of guilt so I decided to leave for Kolkata.

    I packed my luggage and hailed for Kolkata. I did have a little difficulty finding her house but Noor assisted me well through a video call.

    It was more like a luxurious villa. There was a security guard standing in front of the entrance.
    "Who are you, sir?"
    I showed him my ID and said, "I am a friend of Zeenat Khan" and he allowed my car to enter. I entered and as I drove, I could see a stunning swimming pool united with the villa which is encircled by greenery.
    I parked my car and was admiring the house for a moment.

    It looked like a gorgeous fairytale palace with a contemporary twist, more like the villas we watch in movies. Tiny curved windows with steamed reflectors certainly leave a great impact on the visitors. And I was hooked in the elegance of this house. I appreciated her innocence. A simple girl lives like a princess in her house and doesn't boast even a little.

    I adjusted my blazer and strode my hand on the hairs. My heart was performing somersaults as if I was going to ask her parents for her hand. But I made my mind to impress them. I rang the bell and it was Usha di, Zeenat's caretaker who opened the door.

    As I entered, I was mesmerized by the grace of the interior design of her house. Then my gazes fell on the man sitting on the sofa, wearing Panjabi - Dhoti. I could barely see his face as he was engrossed in reading a newspaper.
    A woman in her mid-50s walked his way and halted seeing me. "Yes?"
    "Umm...Aunty...I..I..I am Karthik..umm...Zeenat's fr...i mean..Professor Zeenat's student." I don't know why but I introduced myself as her student. It appeared as if that woman was strict so the student word slipped. And later I wished undone because I expected to impress them.

    That man kept the newspaper aside and looked so handsome to me. I assumed him as Zeenat's brother but then a guy appeared and called him "Papa." Aha!! Young and handsome papa.
    A lady followed the guy and said, "Papa Ji, we both are leaving for shopping."
    "What's the need today? I told you na, boy's family is arriving to meet Zeenat, today." That woman in her mid-50s replied.
    "Who? Who is coming?" And that familiar voice caught me and I saw her descending down the stairs.
    "That's the reason, I don't come over here. I dislike it. How many times will I have to tell you all that I am not willing to marry."
    "Look, daughter. You will have to else this society will keep discussing rumours."
    "Screw this society. You can't force me. And I am not going to meet anybody. If I see any outsider appearing to see me, I will return back to Bangalore." Her face was stormed in anger and then her eye fell on me. be continued


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  • nehadvn_7 75w

    Live without me, love
    The environment unexpectedly turned hush. I did mistake but I wanted to turn it in blessing so I went to Zeenat, held her hands and said, "I love you."

    Alert⚠️This chapter contains adult content.

    6th September 2014
    She didn't respond and left with brimmed eyes. Three days passed and we didn't talk. Noor departed for Kolkata to join her parents. Zeenat wasn't replying to my texts and calls. I was denouncing myself for being so ridiculous. I should have not confessed in front of everyone. I humiliated her.

    10th September 2014
    I was deserted, I was alone. I just wanted to meet her. I went to the nightclub to escape my loneliness. All the memories were playing inside my head. I was taking shots after shots of liquor. My sense wasn't helping. I get into my car and drove to Zeenat's place. With trembling steps, I managed to reach the door and chimed the bell and was continuously knocking, "Open the door, Miss Zeenat."

    Her maid unlocked the door and I entered, "Zeenat?"
    I stepped the stairs and entered her room. Unconsciously, I remember that she was standing on the window side, wearing her night suit. She turned to me and was shocked discerning me in that condition. She reached to me and tried to govern me. She made me sit on her bed and provided a glass of water.

    I threw the glass, the shattered pieces leapt in the air and was about to injure her cheek but I placed my hand on her cheek and a piece cut deep inside the back of my hand.
    She held my hand, "Why did you do this?" A tear declined her eye.
    I wiped her tear and cupped her face, "I love you, Zeenat. Please, don't ignore me. I promise I will never hurt you. I will love you with my everything."

    She strode my hand and stood "I can't. I am sorry. Try to understand, Karthik. I can't forget my past."
    I stood too and came close to her, "He moved on, na? Then why can't you? I am not him. I will never leave you."
    "No one can ever be like him." She replied.
    "He left you but I won't. I will choose you before everything."
    "I don't want to be a choice and he didn't leave me. He loved me more than anything. It was just a circumstance and destiny which played with us."
    "He played with you."
    "Enough!" She yelled.
    I wasn't in my senses and I came closest, "He left you. Why can't you understand?" I screamed at the top of my voice and my cheek unexpectedly turned red. She pushed me back,"Not a single word, now. I won't hear a single word against Naksh. Enough is enough. When you don't know anything, you have no right to judge anybody."

    "Usha di. Usha di." She cried.
    "Please, ask the driver to drop him safely to his place. He isn't in his senses. I will call Garv bhaiya and ask him to pick him up."

    I reached home and all I remember was Garv bhaiya scolding me. He made me gulp a glass of nimbu paani. My head was hurting, I needed to sleep but thought of her was troubling me. I did a mistake again. I wondered, what she must be doing. May be sharing her pain with the moon and recalling her past again.

    [Author's interruption: For only 16+]

    "Come on, Zeenat. Now let's go home. I will drop you, okay?" Naksh said.
    "No." She cupped his face and said, "I want to have dinner with you."
    He kissed her on the forehead and said, "This is the last day of our togetherness. I spent the whole day with you, as I promised. But not night Zeenat. I don't want anything wrong happens to you."
    "But I want to. I want to live the fullest today. From tomorrow, we will be more like a visitor. We will get separate. Please." Her eyes filled with tears.

    He took Zeenat to his place. "You go, take a shower. I am preparing dinner for us, okay?"

    He organized all her favourite dishes, "Doi machch and biryani" and also the desserts she loves "Roshogolla, Mishti Doi and Payesh." It was their last day together. They wished to make memories. He wished to make her happy.

    He was decorating the dishes when Zeenat came out of the washroom wearing his white shirt which covered her body till thigh, making the inner wears a bit transparent and draping her hairs with his towel. She looked like a fresh vanilla ice cream. Naksh's eye fell on her and for a period he was fully lost in her beauty.

    She hugged him from behind. He turned towards her, cupped her face and planted a kiss on her forehead, "Why did you wear my shirt? And why the one I was wearing? You should have asked for a fresh and clean one."
    She touched her forehead with his and answered, "Because it scents like you and I love the way you smell plus it's comfy." He kissed her on the cheek.

    "Okay! So what's in the dinner." She uncovered the plates and went for roshogolla. She picked up a piece and squeezed the rosh inside her mouth which slightly rolled down her lips. Well! Naksh seemed lost again. She looked so adorable that he wanted to kiss her but he didn't want her to give those memories which will hurt her later.

    He turned away. Zeenat came to him, positioned his hands on her waist and said, "You know, I feel safe and comfortable with you. I can be messy, I can be crazy, I can be beautiful, I can be anything with you. Because I know you will never judge me." A tear twinkled her eyes.
    He kissed her on the eye and said, "Idiot. You promised me that you won't cry. Come let's have...."

    She placed a finger on his lips and said, "Sshh! Quiet." Trailing his lips with her thumb, she wormed her right arm on his neck. To reach his height, she came to her toe and brought her lips close to him. She caressed her lips with his and kissed him softly. He couldn't resist the elegant smell of her body. His hands grabbed her closest from the waist and lip softened with hers. She allowed his tongue to take the flavour of the mixed roshogolla syrup and the saliva in her mouth. She commenced taking her steps back while kissing his lower lips deeply. They were lost in the charm of the night.

    She brought him to the couch and they both deliberately fell on it. He was over her smooching her softly and then the kiss gradually got deeper. She felt the sudden bulge on his jeans. He was turned on but then abruptly he broke the kiss and stood up. "I can't. I can't do this. I will hate myself for this."

    She stood too and fastened him in her arms. "I can't be yours forever but I want to be yours at least for tonight."
    He kissed her on the forehead and replied, "It will hurt you. These moments will hurt you later. I won't tolerate people calling you by names."
    She kissed him on his palms, a tear dropped, with the broken voice she said slowly, "Please, love. I want to be yours."

    He couldn't see her crying. Brushing her tears, he kissed her on the forehead and hugged her warmly.
    "I love you." She said.
    He took her in his arms and placed her gently on the bed. Sowing a few sensual kisses on her neck, he replied, "I love you too, love." Making eye contact, they both loosened each other's shirt. Zeenat was taking heavy breaths. He kissed her on the cleavage and said, "Wish I could be yours forever." He switched off the lights.
    "It's okay. You could have kept it on. It's just you and me."
    He kissed her on the forehead and replied, "I won't see you naked. I love your soul."

    Kissing sensually they both stripped each other and the temperature of the room rose.
    The moon glowed hearing to the candy moans when they got united. be continued.


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