Read the post first please ;_; This was one of my first posts on mirakee with my old account @/mystic_aahana (you might have already guessed judging from its lameness xD). Back then I wrote in the last pages of my school notebooks and they slowly paved their way into the drafts of mirakee (they're Miraquill now c'mon bish -_-). I still type rather than write but whenever I don't feel lazy I try to work with pen and paper because ya'll know how beautiful and accomplishing that feeling is. *_* But growing up sucks sometimes, I find myself thinking too much these days and not doing anything productive or thoughtful. I know you have to be laid back at times, after all life changes its pace from time to time. But I feel like I'm changing a lot and although I know it's normal at this age, I still feel anxious that I'll eventually end up losing my originality. I never thought I'd admit this, but I can't write anymore. At least, not like before. Haha. Imagine how heartbreaking it must be for a poet to say this :"). I hate mystic_aahana because she didn't last. She went away somewhere far. And now only a void, lazy person is left. But I hope someday I'll start loving mystic stars and poetry like before so that they too start inspiring me once again :)
Mirakee has been a beautiful place for me, for the past year, and had saved me from going insane because of covid ;_; I pretty much ended this journey back in September 2020 but, we all love coming back home, don't we? *_* I made beautiful friends, even better than my irl ones and I learnt so much !:") not many of them are here now though (sed;_;). Some are deactivated, some have left forever and some just vanished out of nowhere (╥﹏╥). But I'll write about all those peeps because my love is brimming!!!xD (it'll overflow, bachao!! ( ；∀；)
(THIS IS MORE FOR ASSURING MYSELF BECAUSE MY WHOLE LIFE I'VE SPENT THINKING I'M UNGRATEFUL ;_;)
Okay, *ahem*, @/kay_tee, @/splendiferous (y'all!? You guys are the reason why I thought being mystic was beautiful? Remember how we vibed? How I wasn't sure of my zodiac??xD Where are y'all, Kay, Amy?? Miss you guys, and your elegant poems that added tons of words to my vocabulary;_;), @/guilty_as_charged (after this she changed her name a zillion times and finally became mihika_ xD), @/falak_k (I can't thank you enough for making me believe I write well *_*) @/miss_worst( remember Vaishu di?>=<), @/ukiyo_ (K?? Our collab story?? Wasn't it the best thing ever? I miss you) @/anvaya (my mate, how're you, I miss you), @/ravleen_26 (tusim kithe ho??? ), @/alxita (vocab queen!! I miss your tags;_;) - YoU gUyS!!,,,my first friends and now almost all of you aren't here ,,,why?? But, thank youuu so much, I'm so freaking grateful to you guys that you made this place feel like home for me and I never thought I would stay for 6 months if it weren't for you guys, seriously ❤️❤️ I miss y'all, too much, but I hope y'all are doing well and keeping healthy, much love, keep writing always❤️
Then... @/tamanna3(fairy fairy), @/miss_messy (*_* Ruu my sissy missy (つ✧ω✧)つ), @/piyuldwivedi (Angel, do you know what intrigued me about you? Your "you're welcome" after every thank you I said╰(＾3＾)╯) @/nivisa_griffindor (I loved this name of yours so much ) Uma dii?? ( I forgot your username I don't know how ;_;) @/thesunshineloves( Miss Sunshine, I miss our army chatroom ;_;) @/blue_lemon_writes (Komal di? ;_;) @/the_meraki___(Ashyyy;_;) @/sepia_traces(hate you pt.1;_;) @/ell_ferno(hate you pt.2) @/ana_mika(Xiaoko??;_;) @/__saya ( we're yet to vibe but toi gusi goli ;_;), @/words_and_thoughts ( Gouri!! I miss you a lot *_*) @/thousand_splendid_thoughts (Supriya dii, I miss your hopenotes ;_;), @/jun_wilson (you beautiful girl) @/poeticgirl (KFC?!!;_;) HOWW?? HOW CAN YOU GUYS BE REAL??!! I refuse to believe you guys exist because I haven't seen such kind hoomans ever exist irl. And I will say a thousand times that you guys are so muchhhhh more than my irl friends, I didn't even know people can be this sweet!!;_; Thank you isn't enough seriously but I don't know any other English word for showing gratitude (stop being lame Aana -_-). I love y'all forever, thank youuu, keep writing!!❤️ So many of these people I can tag and they'll prolly be happy to see me back but I just can't tag people, I don't know why, it's an old disease ;_;
Lastly, the kings/queens, @/mirakee,@/writersnetwork you guys are the best admins ever!! No matter how much people criticise your glitches and all that, you're the kindest and bestest!! Reading thousands of posts, encouraging people, interacting so well, only Mirakee can relate╰(*´︶`*)╯ Thanks for making my story complete :) ----- I'll try to come back :) Thanks guys, I'm not a good person honestly, I'm socially very retarded and I say unnecessary things at unnecessary places/times, thanks for bearing with me ;_;
Dreams, carried on shooting stars, landing in some fairyland in a distant galaxy, sometimes whisper sweet lullabies in my nightmares. I cling to the fairydust that dawn leaves, as it retires from my window pane, and wakes up another insomniac.
But everyday, under the saffrons blanketing the world, a seraphic star visits me, like the spark of dawn after a sleepless night. She tends to flee but I hold onto her satin dress, as she twirls above the daisies and lilacs. She drifts into dreams and sprinkles stardust, from her little, fluttery wings. She kisses the darkness, and lights lanterns of joy.
algerian headlines over ariel black columns scream upon a modern papyrus that doesn't decay and yet conspires to distribute an incongruous peace, that's departed from so-called distinct continents swept into a debritic sea of mediocre masses.
a small girl with a bean hat and another ten in her bag pack hates her father for the man he is, but there's no time for apologies coz a ducking apocalypse is on its way to end civilization on an untimely date but irony is, the world still sucks on its 'f's.
a pregnant uterus is a misnomer to a one-sided collision, but the ship still sinks if the survivor bears lips for its identity instead.
the big cathedral shines through its glass ceilings, white wax melts on an altar and human hands alike, faith shrivels like a cold animal in the corner, the maker and the made exchange glances in midnight hour, but strangers can't befriend themselves in a single day.
the barbie and the bob swear to their own heavens; no newspapers, no broadcasts have survived to address the last nation.
soon this chaos will end, when we'll run out of time and time will run out of dates to give. (this time without an 'f')
#decay not a quote. does anyone have an extra 'f' to give?
^ - ^
☾︎ will be away from here, for a while. as it's said, when you leave 'any' place, you carry it wherever you go, so goes for everything and everyone in here. wishing you all a good life ☽︎
Some things really be changing with elapse of time. But for us it to be changing with troubles in different forms. You don't really want to be wished on your birthday because days have been really bad. It's been years since you have crossed the stages of being a cancer patient but the impact is still bad on our family. Being a survivor is not as easy and those days are never forgettable. You cried a lot lying to me that you never did when I got into a careless accident of dog bite. You are shattered. I couldn't do anything about your worries. I am trying to be the father's best girl but it feels like I am loosing since I have fallen into depression. I couldn't share this to you. We have shared a lot of bonds and emotions but now I could not open up much to you. I am wishing you to be the most happiest person as you have been the perfect angel for this broken soul at times. This is a small gift for you secretly written and I know still you won't like it. Happy 47th birthday to my angel. You are always my inspiration. -- with all and affection Niv
Looked over you for a thousand days Analysed the happiness or sorrows you portray The scribbles of children Now turned into shambles The melodies of mother Now turned into folklores Trees which were sampling once Now cover the vulnerable present of yours
How does one own a thing? What about the stories left after abandoning?
No one looks into the old strong doors For they fear it might open up to their Past full of sins... But what about the letters you left in old dustbin?
No one talks about death with strong voice For they fear it might lurk around their Life full of dreams... But what about the homicide each photograph clicks?
No one talks about the old cabinet full of lies For it might have some old white lilies Which once used to be truthful to the lover's pride..
The night turned into days Sunsets into sunrise No one really talks about last night For it is you and it is me Who fear the change of moments... Stuck in the world of clichés Who repeat themselves.
We are abandoned by ourselves Trying to find ourselves into A poet's self-destructive Verses... -V.
we sit in a room across from each other, you're four 5×5 tiles away that I let myself imagine crossing the distance and grab your hand, But I sit still unconsciously. Each of us pretending To be doing just fine in this Massive and never-ending drama called living to our fullest.
While I write a brief analogy Of my thoughts on suicide, I look at you, signing off your suicide note thru shaky hands and ragged breaths. You look at me and stifle an outburst. I wish I could be there for you Before it's too late. Before one of us departs, selfishly, unapologetically.
The bed tonight talks of how I danced to the song I rediscovered this morning, how it beheld my long-gone smiles sprouting a new love. I giggle to my pillow, blushing all through the night while watching the moon by my window. Rare are the nights, when the moon would perfectly align itself with my eyes through the panes and leaves I gently ignore. I listen to myself, tracing over my lazy, rough mornings finding their way to become warmer and happy. How nights are calmer these days, and the darkness no more speaks of only solitude. My showers are still long but this time, for my songs and daydreams. I watch myself, tracing over my fears and how they are diminishing each time I smile. I hear myself laugh, loud and real, after a time that felt like forever. And these are the moments when I know, serendipity happened, amongst the most unfortunate and darkest turn of my life.
Self-loathe for me was a bottle, I puked into whenever I was afraid of calling myself up. When my own self needed love and reassurance. I have starved for love in my own hands, naked to my fears and half-torn dreams. I have walked barefoot over my crushed heart, screaming till I choke on the void of words which never existed, but I wanted them to. I have clutched onto darkness just because I had nothing else to cling on, because I thought there always had to be something we must be obsessed with but unfair if it's us ourselves. Nothing ever made sense and soon everything seemed dull, me being the eclipse over them. Poetries yawned curses and I curled up exhaling dead breaths to them, pretending to be unknown to the demons under my bed, or say, my metaphors. I was done searching for kindness, or love, or any kind of thing that would make me happy.
I felt like the tides drifting away, who could never meet the shore again. Few feets soon turned to miles and I waited, blank and bare, to everything near. Butterflies couldn't reach me anymore, I was that far. I kept barging through my anxious, skinny skies. And there was light, before I could notice them. I spent nights peeping at them, the one who kept me sane and human amidst all the chaos I splattered around. I smiled gently, out of kindness and hope that they would smile back, aware of the fact that they too have seen scars on their skin healing. With each smile I share, with each tear I shed while holding their presence; they felt closer and warmer. Fireflies nudged me with joy and I could feel it without even trying. Sharp pangs of fear rang my mind, but how could you ever stop being with someone who made your heart believe that it can heal, that it can be the beautiful in every way it wanted to be, that it had its own magic. I revealed my star to him, the one I protected from the entire universe, 'cause I know he was the soul owner of it. 'Cause I know, it would never shine brighter without him anymore. And for the first time ever, I could watch my sky being admired and adored and appreciated, in a way I never thought anyone ever could. And that's when I knew, he was the serendipity to my life, that he would always be the one I would want to paint my sky with.