mondschatten

www.instagram.com/mondshattan

just a foolish little girl with her foolish little thoughts ����

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  • mondschatten 24w

    Daily thoughts (6)

    I lost myself trying to please everyone . Trying to be a part of their lives. I was so desperate to see notification on my phone . I was so tired of not having favourite contacts or chat groups . Or pictures other than my family members. But now i have friends and they love me and I have been trying to find myself again but i couldn't . So was that was real or this today what i am is real . Confusing. I think i am too old for this . people who bullied me must have forgot about me. And i am still thinking about those young faces laughs at me.

    ©mondschatten

  • mondschatten 24w

    Daily thoughts (5)

    I am more than a woman . How? Because i want to make my decisions .i want to follow others but only if I want to. I want to be intelligent ti show others that i am not dumb. I want to be career oriented sk that i can slap those who think that career is just before marriage. I want to make decision as when and who I want to marry. I want to write my life my story with my pen. I want to see the world from the highest point without asking men for help. I want to be more than a vagina and boobs . I want to be more than a hairless , sexy figure , pretty face women. I want to be more than a woman.


    ©mondschatten

  • mondschatten 24w

    Daily thoughts (4)

    Today i think i am little positive . I mean i am not crying my heart and blaming people or myself for my life. Today i am planning what i want to make of this life . What i am gonna do after the pandamic ends. I don't like to be hoke i don't know people find it cool that they don't have to meet anyone but i think if i don't meet anyone how would I know what is happy and what is sad . For me if I am alone everything is just a single feeling of nothingness. I need to meet people to copy them . To make myself more acceptable to the world. To be a cooler person and not pathetic.

    ©mondschatten

  • mondschatten 24w

    Daily thoughts (3)

    Whenever i see instagram reels or tik tok videos it made me smile like some of them are really cool . For a moment i imagine myself doing the same things , dancing to some peppy music, singing, painting , making cute faces or flicking my hair back in style and what not and then a sudden realisation hits me that i am not made for this .i might grow old and think that it was such a normal thing we used to have but i didn't even try because I was so scared of how I looked. Just for one second imagine yourself with blue eyes and big lashes ... Wow isn't?
    I don't mind how i look i don't think many people does its what others beauty makes you feel ugly . People are beautiful and that makes others to change and not to be what they are . For what ? To be acceptable amoung society? Acceptable in girlfriends groups? Or acceptable to boys? Because i know girls take pride in that .

    ©mondschatten

  • mondschatten 24w

    Daily thoughts (2)

    I don't know why I want to write maybe i just want to write and forget so that it won't stay in my head but can i ?? Can i forget ? Or i am saving it permanently.
    I want to be alone and at the same time i don't does it make any sense? Today i feel something is boiling up inside of me. Something I don't know how to handle . I control myself so i don't burst like a volcano on the people i love but it's getting harder .
    Day by day its so hard to control my anger sometimes i feel like i am gonna hurt myself because I don't want to hurt and show others that i am weak . I want to be what i show to the world that happy ,cool ,sassy girl .

    ©mondschatten

  • mondschatten 24w

    Daily thoughts (1)

    So i am Older now . I have a job, a loving boyfriend, amazing parents , everything i could ask for. Still i feel like something is empty. I feel like i am wasting time but i don't know what i wanna do . I just feel like a black hole inside of me which keeps getting bigger . I feel loved but mostly i feel hollow. I feel like i am pretending . The Great Pretender BY Freddie Mercury i just know that feeling i know what he was talking about. I just know ....

    ©mondschatten

  • mondschatten 113w

    Little do you know

    Little do you know how I can't sleep
    While all you are asleep.
    Little do you know how I am haunted
    by the memories.
    ©mondschatten

  • mondschatten 113w

    A dream can......

    A dream can keep you awake,
    trust me please its not all fake,
    A nightmare can get you scared,
    it can make you feel despaired,
    Waking up screaming,
    waking up shrieking,
    From a dream you were never think of dreaming
    it's hard to believe that it's a dream,
    A attack that never happened 
    but you were the victim
    You were cold, dry and unwell
    to fall forever in the pits of Hell 
    You know it’s a dream 
    But you can’t wake up 
    Your mind is on fire 
    get hold of some wire
    Your heart is racing 
    No one can hear you 
    In the land of the dead 
    am i really on my bed?
    trust me please its not fake,
    A dream can keep you awake 
    A nightmare can get you frightened 
    Waking up scared and tightened,
    From a dream you were never meant to dream....
    ©mondschatten

  • mondschatten 201w

    life is too short for the shoes which hurts your feets,
    running into the woods wearing my fleets,
    scoring cause i have got some goals,
    just don't wanna know how the life flows,
    pick up a stone and throw into the water,
    moving on a water in a way called totter,
    Even he covers a distance before getting drown,
    And that's what my life has shown,
    do something nice and good for others ,
    maybe then nature will reward you with feathers.....
    -Suruchi

  • mondschatten 216w

    someday, sometime, something in this world will just happen for me....
    just for me..

    ©mondschatten