How do I give love to you when I am in search of finding it for myself. All the truckload of love I had within I showered onto so many like snowflakes & confetti. The myriad pieces touched maximum of masses resting on different parts of their body calming their nerves down, but emptying me at the same time. The barter system I didn’t anticipate.
Now that they are gone I’ve got to find those pieces of myself to complete the puzzle again. Some pieces that got burnt stings my hand the moment I touch it, some got soaked in materialistic waves & forgot their real shape, some got crushed under cracked concrete forgetting their own needs, & few that I might not be able to find it ever.
And to create those new,brave mini me(s) I have to wander in solitude, crack open my bottled up emotions, gulp the shame of disappointment, forgive myself for a heart big as a crater, & mingle with my soul again. Those parts I weave must have the shadows of polite past with a lesson learned in present. Not sure how long will this renaissance take.
How can I make you wait when I know how waiting for someone,feels. Even though I understand your heart what if those new pieces don’t want you, ever! How can I do this to you when I have gone through that pain myself?
I would be betraying even before I commit myself to you. How can I love when I am an empty vessel still trying to fill?
What they see isn't always true. I’ve been hiding the burning, dying parts of me in my hands behind my back wearing a broad smile in front. I have been precariously walking forward but they complain of me marching backwards and sometimes I believe them. The struggle they don't understand The smile I wear to keep my foothold.
I don't wish to trash anyone with my agony I don’t wish to burden anyone under my emotional breakdown. Not even you! If you enter my life at this point I might lean on you completely. You might even help me heal but I feel that would be temporary. And, if after I heal I might leave & seek something that attracts my new mosaic soul. Or worse, I might not be able to leave & stay with you in a loveless bond feeling obliged to be with you because you were with me in my sour times. That would be toxic.
How can I do this to you? How can I do this to myself?
With an upsurge in Covid-19 cases it has become extremely important to follow basic protocols such as wearing face mask , washing hands regularly and staying home or maintaining proper social- physical distancing.
Today, write awareness slogans to amplify these protocols. Slogans are short, catchy statements raised to spread awareness for a good cause.