just a girl who loves learning something new everyday ��

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  • m_ozed 2w


    6 months after your funeral,

    I still listen to all your favorite songs.

    I decorate your room with your favorite colours.

    I'm still running out of breath,

    Chasing after the shadows you left behind.

  • m_ozed 2w


    I crave to be listened to-
    To be heard,
    Even when I do not speak.

    So, let us pray:
    To man up in the sky
    (Or woman).

    Prayer is therapeutic for me;
    To sit, kneel or stand
    And voice out to a listener.

    Imaginery or not,
    I feel His presence
    Or I want to feel it.

    I hear His voice speak to me.
    I don't mind that people
    Say that it is just my instinct.

    I want to drink wine and
    Marry just to fuck my wife
    All to the Glory of God.


  • m_ozed 2w


    I smoke tobacco
    Because I adore the smell
    Of burning incense.
    It is my way of worship.

    I watch the alter boys
    Walk majestically and
    It makes me wonder if
    Walking faster would be a sin.

    The angels sing "Alleluia"
    Or "Hosanna" and
    I imagine that a different language
    Is spoken in heaven.

    The solemn music
    From the church choir
    Makes me long for heaven,
    Perhaps it would be so peaceful.

    Heaven is for those
    who are meek and mild.
    Heaven is for the women
    Who cover their hair.

    Heaven is for the ones
    Who go bankrupt
    from tithing every thing they have
    And still pray for abundance.

    Heaven is for the ones
    Who'd rather suffer in silence,
    Than voice out their oppressions
    And their fears.

    Fasting is a ritual for me,
    Blessed is he who endures.
    I would starve for my prayers to be answered,
    It is my way of worship.

  • m_ozed 2w


    Tonight, I celebrate the man I love,
    Basking in the memories of love that once failed.
    Tonight, I am grateful for the ones who stayed.
    As well as the ones who left.

    Ode to Sunrise - the dawn of a new beginning!
    The earthy scent of the morning dew
    Brings me all the peace I ever need within.
    And the blueness of the sky
    Becomes my favorite color each new day.

    Ode to nightfall - the end of an incessant era!
    Even the dark sky is full of stars.
    The cool wind soothes me in places you never have.
    The temporary darkness reminds me of your presence in my life.

    Ode to the ones who stayed!
    They shall not be soon forgotten.
    Ode to the ones who left!
    I shall make a bouquet of flowers for your grave.

    I will dance tonight, wild and free with you, my love.
    I will sing praises of the blessing you've made of me.
    I will adorn you in all the love of my heart.
    Tonight, darling, sing with me.

  • m_ozed 5w

    Lesson #7 (finale)

    Find something to be grateful for.

    Be grateful for the lessons you learned rather than regret the mistakes you made.

    Be grateful for the wind of the day rather than murmur about the heat of the sun.

    Be grateful for the ones who stayed rather than cry over the ones who left.

    In every situation, find the littlest of the things to be grateful for because even caged birds sing.

  • m_ozed 5w


    You'd know you're free when the things that bothered you, don't bother you anymore, when the things that used to hurt you, don't make you feel pain anymore. You'd know you're free when you can spread those wings and finally fly. Oh, you'd know you're free when you can finally breathe sufficient air without heartache.

    You'd know you're happy when you can finally laugh from the deepest depth of your soul. you'd know you're free when you see the one who hurt you and you're able to let go.

    You'd know you've healed when the memories of the past, brings you peace instead of pain.

    I am glad to say to y'all today, that my healing process has finally come to an end. I could not have done without each and everyone of you. The likes, comments and reposts, each of them meant a great deal to me.

    Thank you for being with me, every step of the way. Let's make new memories... together

  • m_ozed 5w

    The final part is here!! Are you ready for the final story of #mydepressionjourney?

    Share your story today. Write a story or poem about a weak point in your life with the hashtag #mydepressionjourney and tag me!

    Let's do this... together

  • m_ozed 5w

    Lesson #6


    Exercise often: breathe in...and out

    It is medically proven that exercises strengthen one's body and mind and of course, the mind is a powerful tool.

    Keeping your body fit and your mind sharp is a key to making you feel powerful and appreciating yourself more.

    Find exercises or fitness programs that you can work with, regularly. You can begin with deliberately taking long breaths on a daily basis.

    Give love to your body and mind.

  • m_ozed 5w


    She was willing to help me but I was not ready to help myself. Not yet.

    After some self assessment, I decided to direct my drinking urges to soda only. I drink a lot still but I drank a lot of soda and soft drinks, instead. Gradually, I was able to redirect my drinking urges to the love of water. It was not long enough until I started drinking water the way I drank alcohol - that was when I knew that I was ready to heal, I was ready to help myself, I was ready to move on but I still thought about the pains that led me to that point in my life and when I think of it I'd suddenly have rapid heartbeats at random or spontaneous palpations and hormonal imbalance.

    That was the reason for my unnecessary mood swings. At that point in my life, I thought I was stuck.

    I was stuck in a phase of thinking randomly about sad things but it all stopped when I began cutting off attachments with toxicity little by little; my toxic friends, toxic music, toxic discussions, I cut them off and once again I was ready to step into liberty and reality, I was ready to leave my little bubble of uncertainty and misery.

  • m_ozed 5w

    Today is another day to try again, I hope you get it right