Miraquill
Lost journal entry #2
As I wander the dark corridors of this empty office building, I ask myself if I’m happy. Will I ever be happy? Is this happiness? How do you define happiness?
As I dodge the slivers of light peeking in the windows, sticking to the shadows when I can, I ask myself if I’m lonely. Is isolation only bad when it begins to feel safer than the alternative? When sadness and loneliness start to feel like home, is that when I should be concerned?
As I avoid the eye contact of my few coworkers, and go out for a walk on my lunch break, my mask hides a frown. Is this really the new normal? Will my work load ever lighten? Will they continue to run a skeleton crew in an attempt to save money while driving the few of us that remain to the edge?
In all of this, I try to remember my privilege. I try to remind myself of the issues of the world, and keep myself aware. But it’s now 8:45 AM, and I’m already exhausted.
©lucinda
8/11/2020
lucinda
My biggest inspiration for writing is the challenges I face as a woman. my spirituality also inspires my writing.
-
lucinda
92w
-
Lost journal entry #1
A bright blue sky with splashes of white, fluffy clouds paint a beautiful background, partially obstructed by skyscrapers and office buildings. Strange mechanical background noise, echoing through busy parking lots, with no clear source. The smell of construction and heavy machinery defeats the gentle scent of carefully planted flowers, and I think to myself what a waste of time it was to plant them. Looking wistfully through my office window, I question whether or not I belong here. My mind shifts back to the flowers, which are now dying due to the poisonous environment and lack of sunshine. I wonder if I am the flower, or if I am the cause of their death.
Oh well. Lunch break’s over.
©lucinda
7/24/2020 -
Days Like This
On days like this
My commute to work doesn’t feel like a funeral
My lunch break doesn’t feel like a viewing
My job is easy and enjoyable again
I don’t have to remind myself to smile at strangers
To try to be kind to others
On days like this
I wonder how I survived the last few weeks
I shield myself from sadness while opening my heart to others
I resist complaining because I understand many of my problems are self made
On days like this
I smile genuinely and laugh wholeheartedly
On days like this
I feel alive
And what’s more
I feel like living
©lucinda
1/6/2020 -
Muffled
How do you cry for help
When nobody is listening
©lucinda
8.13.19 -
Aching Incarnate
An ancient pain, sad and dull
Loneliness, as known by some
Fallen rock, or quiet stream
An ancient, ancestral fallacy
Novices at happiness, delight
Sing and dance the ache away
Temporary is the blind glee
For darkness looms just overhead
Threatening, gleaming fangs
And claws, of this beast, ancient
Satisfied only when damage inflicting
Mocking you for your persistence
I observe and maintain this tomb
A monument to life’s fleeting smiles
To the heroes who rise only to fall
And only to be forgotten still
Shame to those who cry, “woe is me”
For woe is not yours, alone
Woe is humanity and its sins
Woe is aching, everlasting
©lucinda
8/8/19 -
Shi ( Death )
Like the sea pushing and pulling
Objects and animals alike caught in the current
Invisible hands catching and culling
Unseen acts of violence abhorrent
Wandering hearts get swept aside
Only the focused and strong will persist
Longing for more than just to survive
The urge of the rope, too sweet to resist
Whispering poetry into the wind
Hoping it will carry it to needy ears
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned
Love dies cold, hate perseveres
©lucinda
11/8/2018 -
lucinda
188w
Grandfather
I feel the cloud come over me
Foreshadowing loss and sorrow
And here, I sit, wondering
What awaits tomorrow
I feel the news before it comes
I knew that it was due
Every bone within me hums
My hearts lies askew
I mourn the man I didn’t know
As well as I would have loved to
Your last words to me echo
And leave a disconsolate residue
©lucinda
10/11/2018 -
lucinda
200w
Trauma, Haiku
A smile caused a wave
A shudder throughout my heart
There is no love there
Traumatic dreamscapes
Peppered with blurry shrapnel
Echoes of those lost
Cherry blossom scent
Filled spaces from which I can't
Seem to find release
A memory of
Serenity, peace and that
That is all I have
7/17/18
©lucinda -
lucinda
206w
A Spring Haiku
The whisper of rain
And the rumble of thunder
Springtime has arrived
©lucinda
6/7/2018 -
lucinda
206w
A New Start
Sometimes when I'm playing my video games
I pass a checkpoint where it saves my progress
I wonder what those checkpoints would look like
In real life
Would they be something we could recognize
Like a glowing green door we pass through
Or would it be a person standing to the side
Waiting for you
©lucinda
5/31/18
-
nilmarkas
161w
Read More@writersnetwork @lovenotes_from_carolyn @amberglow @turmoilmoon @entropyofconciousness
Hey guys, good to be back ^^ This is a kinda' weird approach I've taken here; it's sort of a mesh of several different styles inspired by a few of my favorite poets. But this one's also particularly near and dear to me, but I'm not going to say why that is just yet. I'm curious to see how you each respond to this. After it sits for a few minutes, I might start dropping some hints... or hell, I'll probably just bluntly spit it out after the first guess, as per usual haha Anywho, I hope you enjoy, guys �� Thanks ^^
EDIT: So yeah, since some folks are having trouble understanding what's going on here, I'm just gonna dump my proverbial purse out onto the table.
Okay, guys, so I'm an epileptic (Yes, another illness -.- I'm sure this is getting old, but what can I say? I've got a lot of shit wrong with me =P) -- mostly partials, tremors and ticks with the occasional grand mal = fun =P Anyway, this poem is supposed to allow you to peer into my thoughts as I go through each typical stage of a grand mal seizure. That's why it seems like three broken up or incomplete poems, because that's exactly what it feels like. I think it's pretty much linguistically impossible to articulate the -exact- mindset of an epileptic during a seizure, but this is as close as I can come, while still managing some kind of rhyme scheme. I also kinda did each set of the three in a way that -sort of- imitates three of my favorite poets of all time, each of them from totally different backgrounds and era. Thanks again, guys ^.^ Sorry for the confusion lol Lots of love ������Achilles
I slip into a quiet rage, without warning, unaware
Eyes bewildered, as I gasp for air
Writhing and biting, I jerk and shudder
Slick with sweat, I strain to utter
But a single word to let them know that I'm still breathing
Yet then the whole world seems to vanish,
And again I'm nescient to the fact that I lie bleeding, half-naked on my bedroom floor
Convulsions take me, briefly though, into another realm
A place of pure darkness that seems to whelm
Within my mind, so dim and broken
Outside myself, left with this token
That serves me only as a note of pity, from the crowds who gather near
I cannot grasp the goings on
Of the exterior world above me, in my state so drear, from whence my blood and tears do pour
Another fall, a halo's crushed,
O'er some veneer, thus cracked and flushed
While strangers to my side had rushed,
I'd lain immobile -- trembling, hushed
For knowing only this ignominious fear,
My shame. In pain, and self-disgust,
My distorted view held heretofore
Forsooth, so foolish -- right to its core
Yet then, again, I stand
When tremors take me to my knees,
Yet then, again, I'll stand
And when my crown is fractured, and dismaying thoughts abound,
I'll stand again, up to my feet, though weathered and unsound
And if the Fates do see it fit to force me cruelly back to the ground,
I'll leer in Their direction,
I'll spit at what They've surely planned
I'll take each strike in stride, you'll see,
And then, again, I'll stand
-Nıl Markas-
Finished April 19th, 2019
©nil_markas -
Dissapointed.
Not because life is pathetic, because I'm not able to cope up with it, not because problems are too big may be because I'm too small for them.
©setha_soni -
turmoilmoon
191w
Renegade's new home, no love found...
Barricades built strong, moored all alone...
An apparatus built in the foretold Abyss...
Torsos layered with Pippets and needles...
Colored fluids rushing through the veins..
Impelling the pain, more power they gain..
An alchemy craving for forlorn eternity...
Mutants carved out reversing the genes...
Rodent faced men, horse faced women...
Failed formulae of greed, leaves no more humane...
Begrimed dungeon walls broke, new giant life evoked...
Strong and ludicrous...
Ugly and pernicious...
Pungent blooming of the new born...
Only filthy war pigs shall adore...
©turmoilmoon -
nilmarkas
178w
Read More
@writersnetwork @turmoilmoon @laughing_soul @ghoulfrost @divokost @lovenotes_from_carolyn @readwriteunite @mirakeeworld @amberglow @johnrtarter <--�� ^^
Hey guys, I know it's been... well, quite a while since my last post -- and I do apologize for the excruciatingly long periods between each of my posts. I've become the Tool of Mirakee haha (I wish -.-) But anyway, here's another potentially depressing poem by yours truly, Nıl Markas *polite bow* Uhh What else? Oh, yes, it's probably going to come off as depressing; but no, I'm not depressed xD Quite the contrary! Things are finally looking up for ol' Uncle Nıl. So please, try to refrain from pitying me lmao And well, thanks a bunch for your patience and support! And I'm deeply sorry if I missed anyone. My memory's not what it used to be -.- Much love, folks! ������
-NM-Exegesis of Oneself
Staring in the mirror, I can't help but shed a tear or seventeen for every time that I gave up when I was near
Nearer even still, but I can barely breathe at all, with the pressure bearing down, and no cushions for my fated fall
I lose myself, then lose my mind, but only when I find the time; and time itself is closing in -- let's face it, I'm well past my prime
It seems the past is always with me, every wretched gaffe or crime -- every solecistic blunder, ever creeping in my mind
Am I a liar, or worse, a villain? Are these dark musings justified? Is it just me who's so unwilling, or are these quirks found far and wide?
No, I'm not perfect -- that much is clear; but are these queries that torment me really so dire as they appear?
I've lost my faith in only me, or maybe all humanity -- I can't decide if I'm truly the misanthropic wastrel that I see
Every time I make the mistake of gazing into my reflection, cast into complete abjection
Weeping out each faint and feeble, undeniably selfish plea
-Nıl Markas-
(December 17th, 2018)
©nil_markas -
nilmarkas
188w
Read More
@writersnetwork @ghoulfrost @lovenotes_from_carolyn @turmoilmoon @amberglow
So yeah... I'm so very sorry for the impromptu, and unforgivably long hiatus, guys =( About six months ago, I ran headfirst into the worst case of writer's block I've ever been forced to confront -.- My words were taken from me. And the longer I waited, the guiltier I felt. And well, the rest you've heard, so without further ado, here's Enigmas
PS: Sorry if it sucks xP I'm a little rusty.Enigmas
Surging outward, lonely souls -- we cast across a thousand stars
Lightyears by our shortest measures, kept safe and secret, locked up in jars
Miters met along this fabric, when we danced on Venus, and died on Mars
And all that's left to us in the end are those shy enigmas -- solely ours
Some quickened spells of clandestine tears,
Spread all throughout those broken years
Spat on the faces in those shattered mirrors,
If only for our lurking fears -- should they manifest in time
And time, itself, would surely cease in the gardens of our youth
Love would be lost forevermore, if only they should learn the truth
Then would they see me as I am -- foul and furious, so uncouth?
Or shy and shuddering, blister pocked -- those lips that hide my lies, forsooth
--Nıl Markas-- -
lovenotes_from_carolyn
187w
Read MoreYes, I screamed "NO!!" over and over again as loud as I could, at the top of my lungs; but he continually covered my mouth and pushed my face into the ground. Yes, I pushed at him, kicked at him, struggled and fought him with all of my might, but he was the captain of the wrestling team, and I was an individual with no self-defense training, so my attempts were useless and futile against him. Yes, I remained silent. Somehow, being able to stay at the college where it had occurred seemed better than possibility of being forced to return home where I would continue to face ongoing verbal/emotional abuse, as I had my whole life. I was young, I was scared, and I didn't know what my options were. So that's why #metoo. I hope that answers your questions.
Copyright Carolyn Glackin 10/17/18.
Fortunately, my story didn't end the way it might have. Two young men appeared out of nowhere, just in the nick of time, and chased off my attacker. I never saw either of them again and will always believe they were angels.Yes, #metoo.
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.
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turmoilmoon
204w
So heavily parched by the steam of the summer...
Autumn ingested all of me...
A stand still life so lifeless awaiting the spring...
Shall restore my glory to withstand the waves of the seas...
©turmoilmoon -
.
-
keepingcosmic
211w
Truth
Sometimes I hide it behind a plastic smile.
Other times I just except it for what it is.
Then there are the moments in which I weaponize it spewing from my lips violently.
Often I sinfully deny it as if I were Judas himself.
Occasionally it vindicates my actions.
Miraculously, it brings me a fleeting instance of clarity.
No matter how well it’s dressed, what intentions it’s used for, or how commonly it’s overlooked, it remains constant.
Like the sound of a tree falling in the wilderness unheard by living ears, It’s there.
It is certainty. It is just. It is the best definition of reality.
Before there was life, there was truth. If or when life seises to be, it will remain.
Try it on for size, it’s lighter than the baggage of any lie and costs much less with time.
©keepingcosmic
