There's no inspiration left in me to write. Whenever I catch a glimpse of it and begin, always some real life trouble takes hold of me that I have to deal with, blotting out all the inspiration I had gathered. And then when I can finally rest, I feel like there's no use in carrying on with these unnecessary musings when they are of no use to me. Life's fine the other way. I will wait till some inspiration hits me but it never does. I keep waiting and waiting.
I don't believe life's asking me to write much right now. In the past it did and then I had tried whenever I could to keep the inspiration going but I can't try now. It has to come on it's own. It was so easy back then when I could spill my guts anytime on paper. It was was my shelter. The thing is I don't always want sadness to inspire me. I also want good things to push me to write as well. But maybe there are no good things left in my life right now. I'd have to go somewhere and collect it.
Earlier life had offered me a bucketful of happiness and I had drank from it greedily but I didn't know when I had gotten so used to it that I stopped making efforts on my own. Now my bucket is empty. There's nothing new that I could bring to the table. The happiness that I get now is only when I share it with others. I used to be my own person. I didn't need anything to make me happy. I was always high. I guess I am not the girl I used to be. I feel calmer, quieter, which is not a bad thing but then why do I get this itch sometimes to pour myself out on paper and I can't. And what do you get when you blow on an empty vessel without any appreciation for music, just noise. These words right now feel much like that to me- just noise.
Life is a gift but it can be a curse for those who don't know how to live it. Present is vital. Growth is important and we must never skip it in order to reach a particular age, so that we can fit among a particular group of people who just don't change. Because at night when we go alone to our beds, we can't help but feel we don't fit in this body.
I am so sorry! I didn't mean to hate you. You don't have an altogether 'angry-face' and your expressions are not always harsh. You have a sweet face and an innocent one. You're equally sweet and innocent on the inside as well. And even though it's hard to see it, for someone who is as impatient as me, I assure you I see it.
I hope I didn't make a mess. I hope my aversion towards you or everything else in general wasn't too visible to make you feel sick. But I do know you're good at taking hints even when I try not to give any. But I wish tomorrow when we both wake up it will be okay again. Normal again. Usually I make a blunder of things, so I hope this time the damage was only 3 on a scale of 1 to 10.
I can't help hating people for no reason I have to agree or it will haunt me. Once you agree with something you can move on from that and focus on other things that haunt you. But right now as my mind is clear of all the hauntings, I can see how different it makes me. It's almost like I like me. A person worth some ounce of love.
Most of the time I don't feel I deserve to be loved because of this entity that seems to posses me. I cannot declare this entity as foreign since it has always been there with me. Even though I feel it as something different it is a part of me and always going to be. So I've finally come to an understanding with it. I don't hope anymore to free myself from it because this kind of hope breeds 'eternal misery'.
I have come to take responsibility of some of my behaviours, if not my moods and feelings because I can't control what I feel and at times I give into them. I am a human being! So I forgive me. I forgive myself regularly these days. I am making it a habbit. And we know, forgiving is caring. Caring is loving. I am getting better at loving myself. And when I love myself I can't help loving others as well.
So I am practically trying to tame this 'entity' like it had tamed me all my years.
If you're anything like me (and God help us if you are! ), then chances are that you keep a rather lengthy list of favorite words somewhere (mine's in my memo app) and you add to it often. My list is primarily comprised of words that work well in poetry, but I also have a few zany zingers in there that I find rather interesting or amusing. I'll be providing those for today's challenge.
OFFICIAL RULES: Write a piece of no more than 20 lines using one or more of the words provided below in the 'wacky word' list. Submissions must be written in English please, and only one submission per participant. Please allow up to several days for me to see your submission.
WACKY WORD LIST: Use one or more of the following words in your piece. Make sure that you understand the word's meaning and how it functions in a sentence.
Haberdashery: Noun. An old fashioned term for a store that sells men's clothing.
Davenport: Noun. A somewhat outdated term for a couch or a sofa.
Conundrum: A confusing problem of question.
Vicissitude: Noun. An unfortunate change in circumstances or fortune.
Cacophony: Noun. A harsh, unpleasant mixture of sounds.
Jejune: Naive and simplistic, uninteresting.
Picayune: Adjective. Trivial, unimportant, or worthless.
Ennui: Noun. A feeling of listlessness, boredom, or dissatisfaction.
Curmudgeon: Noun. An ill tempered grouchy old grump. We all know at least one of these stinkers.
Lollygag: Verb. Lacking enthusiasm and determination.
Rigmarole: Noun. A complicated and lengthy procedure, or a pointless and rambling banter.
Ballyhoo: Noun. A bunch of ridiculous, pointless fuss about nothing.
Snickersnee: Noun. A large knife.
Gregarious: An adjective that refers to a person who is very sociable and fond of company.
ABSOLUTELY NO: ▪Plagiarism ▪Nude or otherwise inappropriate images ▪Harsh, foul, vile, or inappropriate language.
Here on my skin Your kisses felt Beyond the words That touched my heart * In night of days And day's of night Vibrations flow As sparrows fly Their nest to find * We did the same Here in your arm's A gift of light Two souls Ignite * We snuggle close Not loosing sight The warmth of truth Love resides within Its strength At sunrise and Sunset * That lingers upon Eyes gazing glow Gripping tight The here and now Yesterday's Passed on * We live we die A lover's song Together we Belong
There was a time when I was completely in love with black. Nothing around, just stark darkness. It comforted me. Cos I feared the outside world. Long hours in black with nothingness. Eyes wide open staring at nothing. I use to feel my heart beats, pounding and not cos of fear but cos of me being alone. Sometimes I used to feel as if someone touched me. But that was ok. I was not afraid . Black can at the most cover you from all around. At that time I was able to feel only......my heartbeat, tears flowing down my cheeks and my breath. Guess I got used to that. Then one day, as I was lying in my black comfort zone, I saw a Firefly moving around. I was surprised as I had not seen one since ages. My curiosity arose. So I started following it. I was able to hold it in my hands. Making a ball of my palms. I peeped through a gap between my fingers. It felt as if a small room is filled with magical light. Then I let it go. Somehow it made me think. Even this creature of night has light. Maybe God created things this way. Day and night both are needed . Darkness and light as well. I turned on bulb in my room. Some magic happened. Light emitting from the bulb opened my eyes. I thought that light does matter. And also life matters. Normal person mostly fears the dark. And tormented one loves it. So I guess it's ok to stay alone and befriend darkness. But after a while you definately need light. Light is the essence of everything. Even God .